Dumped
- Thread starter apostle83
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Realistically, that's the problem. You want her back, and would like to pretend the whole thing never happened. If you get back together fairly soon, the whole thing kinda gets brushed under the rug, and the underlying problem just comes back again later.
Despite what she's saying, religious difference of opinion was NOT the only reason, and it would be suprising if it was even the biggest one. Just a convenient excuse.
I'd be careful about what you're willing to change or give up to get her back, as well. Changing your life plan, or swapping denomnations, etc for a woman doesn't seem all that right to me. And if that really wasn't the big problem, you go through all that, and it doesn't help. Or she either loses respect for you, or realizes she has you by the balls, since you'll do anything to keep her...
Foursquare?
I've always respected foursquare, even though their founder was... not my favorite. Weird woman.
I just know a lot of people who went to A/G colleges, but wound up being Foursquare pastors.
Enough that it seems kind of common, anyway.
Enough that it seems kind of common, anyway.
That would be because of the differentiation between the two groups. Both believe in a distinct experience after salvation called "Baptism in the Holy Spirit" but the A/G believes the initial physical evidence of that is tongues.
Which is a sticking point with my ex that I am reexploring.
I'm trying to be careful here. My line of thinking is that I would hate to lose her over something I'm not 100% sure about... so I'm reinvestigating.
What's the sticking point, exactly?
Cherry bomb?
All Seeing Eye
Admiral
This is why i'm an athiest and I got married to one. Religion destroys everything including relationships.
The emphasis on tongues among the spiritual gifts and her not wanting to be apart of a group that emphasizes that. She is even uncomfortable with groups that she feels emphasize it without being conscious of it.
Isn't that a completely different sticking point from the argument you guys had that initiated the break-up in the first place?
[edit] Yes, the issue was Apostasy at first.
Isn't it telling that you guys keep hitting stumbling blocks over relatively minor interpretational differences like this? Don't you think looking at the big picture rather than haggling over the details is more in keeping with Christ's philosophy? You should ask her that. You two don't have to agree on every single issue in order to carry on a relationship, and it's silly of her to think you could possibly see eye to eye on EVERY piece of Biblical minutiae.
Or maybe, as mentioned, arguing over the details is simply an excuse for her to get out of the relationship, in which case she's just stringing you along unfairly. I wouldn't put up with too much of these petty disagreements dragging things out and make her commit to a decision to be with you or not. You're just hurting yourself in the long run if you allow this situation to continue as it is.
I have to agree with this assessment. It's ridiculous to think that the both of you have to agree lock-step religious grounds (look at the number of mixed-faith marriages out there). She needs to mature a bit more as do you. We have to local radio guys who always advocate that people shouldn't get married for the first time until age 30. That way, both partied bring more life-experience to the table. Based on what I've observed and endured, I think it's sage advice.
I wasn't the once saved, always saved guy. Look, I understand WHERE she is coming from, even if I dont' agree with her.
I think the problem, at heart, isn't about agreeing with your partner...it's about being ok with DISAGREEING with your partner. And that requires a lot more maturity in a relationship.
I just find it difficult to believe that this bit of theology is what actually caused her to break up with you...
...and that agreeing on it suddenly will bring you two back together.
my mistake, got one of them backwards. On the tounges one, I agree with her, it seems to have as much validity as the evangelical tv shows where they whack you on the head and tell you cancer is cured. As for the first point, I'm with you, seperation is easily possible. You don't get a free pass for life if you behave correctly as a child. Or you get a free pass regardless. Having behavior not matter is silly....
hope that means you've solved the underlying reasons for why she dumped you in the first place (and not just the theological ones she told you about). Otherwise, you're setting yourself up for a bigger fall when she realizes that those things haven't really changed or been addressed.
Good luck!
Good luck!
Is it (partially) because you lost so much weight, apostle? The timing is rather curious.
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