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TOS Caption Contest #101 - A New Hope

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Kirk: Hey, rooster. Cock of the walk, huh?
 
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Flo: What's Mel doing in that getup?
Mel: Just what I need, another Starfleet dingbat!

Code:
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Well, if it's a direct order....
 
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Kirk: "Mister Sulu?"
Sulu, offscreen: "Sir?"
Kirk: "... Engage."
<Coleman tenses.>
 
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Spooky voice, with echo: "Your Captain will stay with us for the rest of his life."
Scotty: "Och! That's ..."
Spooky voice, with echo: "We offered to imprison a female of your species with him, the one you call 'Navigator.'
Scotty: "Ye can't ..."
Spooky voice, with echo: "He refused rather vociferously, using uncivilized language."
 
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NAVIGATOR:"Alice just sent in this subspace message, y'all...lemme play it...she's gonna be late for work. Tommy got the Rigellian Flu."
 
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SCOTTY:"D'ya bloody see that, lads?

Ken Jennings BLEW it on purpose! How can he not bloody know Federal Express?!"


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COLEMAN:"Just so you know...I've always been WILD for a woman in another man's body."
 
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SCOTTY:"Easy, lass.

Take it easy. You gotta treat this ship like a fine piece o' china. Not like the Flowbee you used on your bloody hair this mornin'."
 
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KIRK: I did you hair while you were asleep. I don't think anyone will know they are extensions.
 
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Kirk: "Don't be selfconscious, Lortab: we know not every humanoid species keeps their genitals in the same place as Earthlings."


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Scotty: "Ah, bosh! We come to a drive-in, and they're playing a piece of shite like 'Night of the Lepus.'"
 
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COLEMAN:"No, Janice...

there are FIVE LIGHTS. Shall we go over this one more time?"


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SCOTTY:"Borgas frat.


What the hell is a BORGAS FRAT, anyways? Ask the bloody Klingons over there. Maybe they know!"
 
Star Trip : A Kiss Is Just A Kiss

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Kirk : Kiss me !

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The crew watches in shock as the two of them share a long passionate kiss
 
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KIRK:"I'm a woman trapped in a balding man's body.

Help me."


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The Enterprise bridge crew were transfixed by the sight of their captain engaged in mortal combat with a green-haired woman.

In a tinfoil bikini.

Armed with giant can opener.
 
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