I agree, the details are what make it look dated, if it were me I would stick with same basic sets just add more details especially when it comes to the controls mainly adding some LCD screens. Yes the Defiant looked good on ENT and it was nostalgic just in an "updated" sence thats what I would like.I know many people say the original Enterprise is dated (especially the interior) but I think it could be pulled off with just a little bit of tweaking for modern audiences (different lighting, muted colors, maybe a little more set dressing).
For me I would like to see the same core (canon) characters even if everything else has been 'rebooted' and changed in terms of sets, props ect even if then it goes off in a way which doesnt lead onto the TOS era from TOS which is what I think is likely.
People are still hoping and assuming this is meant to be the same ship from the 60s and somehow at the end of the movie everything will be like that which sounds to me just a little naive. Why would they spend who knows how much designing and building new sets, costumes and props for this movie with the hopes of starting a new series and then go back to TOS!
I think the main mistake was to call it Star Trek XI in the first place and not just 'Star Trek', its not like this is a James Bond flick where the fans are used to a new Bond every couple of movies which is kinda supposed to be the same one but not really as he seems to get younger as time goes on (at least Doctor Who got that sorted with regenerations)