TNG Caption This #132 - "The Running Joke"

How To Mess With Data For Your Own Amusement Tip #5

Data: I am afraid that I do not understand what you mean by giving you five, Captain.

 

"Mister Data did WHAT to the power couplings on Deck 31?!

Commander, what have I told you about your sexual experimentations?"

 

"Dude...I'm so WASTED...it's like I can see my molecules, man!!"

 

Picard: "But... he's a droid, and I'm a-noid...."

*Rimshot*
Live studio audience: <groan>

 

Data: Black Lights, Activated.

Riker: Perhaps you should stop by De-Con, Captain?

 

Picard: "Why not just send the robot. If he's destroyed, who gives a fuck?"

 

Picard: "Look, I'm the captain, got that? If I say I want to replace my captain's chair with a toilet, that's my call!"

 

Picard: First, here, Mr. Data, are your chances of making it with a woman not afflicted by an alien virus...

 

Who knew Picard was so ticklish?

 

Picard: "Cocaine! I LOVE COCAINE!! <roars>"

 

Frank Lopez: "Rule number two: Don't get high on your own supply."

 

"Mister Data, I find it highly improbable that the food replicator on Deck 25, Section 1C made an inappropriate romantic move on you."

 

HEAD & SHOULDERS


Because even in the late 24th Century a strange alien species with an indecipherable language shouldn't have to see your unsightly flakes.

 

Picard: "For an android, sometimes he can be pretty dumb. He wanted to destroy the Borg using nanites. Is that the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard?"


"The nanites, they're eating me alive! DAAAAAAAAATAAAAAAA!!!!"

 

Data: "Captain? Captain? Are you alright sir? You froze for a minute. Is Q sending you to different time periods?"

Picard: "No Mr Data. I was deciding if this was going to be a simple fart or something more. Damn. If you'll excuse me..."

 

Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. Bitch.

 

"I'm going to flip this old Earth coin from 1958, Commander. It's taken more than four hundred years to get from where it was first minted...to my hand...on this ship.

Call it. You stand to gain everything. Or lose it.

Friend-O."




Everybody kept warning the Captain not to try the Insane-O-Flex.

 

Picard: "Mr Data, watch as I levitate my communicator,"

 

nicely done!

 

Picard didn't mind the nanite infestation, until they got to his nuts.