Mental Wellness Support Group

[SJGardner]

The one regret I have about writing fiction, either fan fiction or original fiction, is that I could never finish anything I ever started to write.

On a more positive note, I finally have my second medical opinion (a psychiatric one in addition to the psychological one I alread have) required to start hormone replacement therapy. I'll need to get an appointment with the one endocrinologist in the country who genuinely specializes in gender-affirming healthcare, do all the needed medical tests and maybe I can finally start this after years of waiting. And I was also given the contact information of an ADHD specialist whom I could reach out to for a test.

 

[Bynar0110]

That's my problem with fiction. I never finish what I start and it depresses me. I feel like I would've been much happier if I never discovered certain hobbies that I like.

 

[fireproof78]

I've started many stories that I have never finished.

I have photoshop design ideas that won't ever see the light of day.

I have had had to left fan groups and never finish what we started.

That is not something to be ashamed of, because at every step I learned. I learned about me, I learned about what I can and can't do well, and I got myself through some dark times at every step of the way.

No hobby is a waste if we learn something from it. And there is no obligation to finish it.

 

[JD]

I've hit a temporary roadblock with the vocational rehabilitation, it turns out they need recent paperwork from a Dr. about my disabilities, but everything I have is from back when I was diagnosed as a kid, and the earliest appointment I could get with my Dr. isn't until next month. I really need a job since money is getting tight, and I was really hoping to get working with them ASAP.
I'm gonna keep up my solo job hunt in the meantime, and if I get something without them I'll probably just cancel all of it.

 

[Commander Troi]

Don't cancel. Set up with your doctor anyway. Any job you get in the meantime is just to make it through.

 

[fireproof78]

I've hit a temporary roadblock with the vocational rehabilitation, it turns out they need recent paperwork from a Dr. about my disabilities, but everything I have is from back when I was diagnosed as a kid, and the earliest appointment I could get with my Dr. isn't until next month. I really need a job since money is getting tight, and I was really hoping to get working with them ASAP.
I'm gonna keep up my solo job hunt in the meantime, and if I get something without them I'll probably just cancel all of it.

Do not cancel if you can help it. Appointments like that are usually a multi-step process that probably will have a follow up needed.

Have you applied for social security or another supplemental program?

 

[Peach Wookiee]

I regret writing fan fiction.

Did you write “My Immortal”? If you didn’t, why do you regret it?
ETA: I saw why. I have fics I haven’t finished.

 

[Bynar0110]

I've hit a temporary roadblock with the vocational rehabilitation, it turns out they need recent paperwork from a Dr. about my disabilities, but everything I have is from back when I was diagnosed as a kid, and the earliest appointment I could get with my Dr. isn't until next month. I really need a job since money is getting tight, and I was really hoping to get working with them ASAP.
I'm gonna keep up my solo job hunt in the meantime, and if I get something without them I'll probably just cancel all of it.

Keep the Appointment with Voc Rehab just to get into the system. Voc Rehab does provide other services besides finding a job.

I also recommend asking about Drivers training for those with disabilities who are seeking a job.

Voc Rehab helped me out a lot when I worked with them about 20 some years ago. I may failed in getting a job with their help, but Voc Rehab did teach me how to drive a car, a skill that's been a huge boon in living independent.

 

[Moviefan2k4]

I've started many stories that I have never finished.

I have photoshop design ideas that won't ever see the light of day.

I have had had to left fan groups and never finish what we started.

That is not something to be ashamed of, because at every step I learned. I learned about me, I learned about what I can and can't do well, and I got myself through some dark times at every step of the way.

No hobby is a waste if we learn something from it. And there is no obligation to finish it.

I've got stuff sitting on my external hard drive, that has to be pushing 20 years old. A lot of it is various Photoshop files (I like doing fan art as a hobby), plus fanfics that only reached a certain point because folks quit giving me any feedback. For example, one of my favorite teen-aimed sci-fi shows was the first version of Roswell, and I decided I wanted to try starting over. What I completed would probably only equal about two thirds of a single episode, but I couldn't bear to erase it since I spent so much effort trying to recreate what I loved about it. I also tried redoing Smallville, but again that bottomed out, getting to about 10 chapters before hitting another dead-end. I need both encouragement and helpful input to keep going; otherwise there doesn't seem to be much of a grander point.

 

[Commander Troi]

The thing is (and I'm trying to convince myself of this too) one can write purely for the love of the thing and the joy of the process without ever planning to show it to anyone else.

 

[Moviefan2k4]

The thing is (and I'm trying to convince myself of this too) one can write purely for the love of the thing and the joy of the process without ever planning to show it to anyone else.

That might be true if its a story of your own creation, but by definition the point of most fanfics is to share them with a like-minded community.

 

[fireproof78]

The thing is (and I'm trying to convince myself of this too) one can write purely for the love of the thing and the joy of the process without ever planning to show it to anyone else.

Yup. I've done that for years and is my preference.

My wife has a 149 part Hobbit AU fiction that she shares out there

 

[BillJ]

That might be true if its a story of your own creation, but by definition the point of most fanfics is to share them with a like-minded community.

I don't think so. If you have a creative itch, scratch it. You can decide later whether or not you want to share it.

 

[cooleddie74]

My fan films and some of my fan stories are out there online. The rest? My private stash or shared with a limited number of people. And I'm fine with that.

 

[JD]

Do not cancel if you can help it. Appointments like that are usually a multi-step process that probably will have a follow up needed.

Have you applied for social security or another supplemental program?

I was looking into the SNAP (what used to be food stamps) program but I thought I'd try Voc Rehab first, since I figured if I can get a job I won't need it. I might look some more since the Voc Rehab is going to take longer than I had hoped.

 

[BazBaziah]

I want out of this timeline.

Hey,
Hang in there, life is like a game and sometimes the dice of life roll low but don't give up. Refuse that next roll and you could be throwing away a run of wins.

 

[Weyoun 251]

I'd rather someone told me, "I hate you, psycho-bitch!" than leave me with nothing but silence.

I hate you, psycho-bitch ;p

Love you really mate

Jokes aside I relate to this so much - I struggle with reading the room at the best of times and so someone being cold or distant without any indication why sends me into a spiral

One of the things I love with my close friends (and some of the best people I've worked with and for too) is the approach of - "you fucked this up - sort it now" or "what did you say X for - need to give your head a wobble" followed by "and now we're friends again" once action is taken.

No grudges, no subtext - just direct feedback allowing me (or them if I'm saying it) to take the correct action and then we are back to where we started with no hard feelings.

May be correlation without causation but from the type of people my friends are it feels like a very "sports person" approach to things - if you are on the football pitch and you make an error leading to a goal then you can expect your keeper to tear you a new one as emotions are heightened in game and you might need a sharp wake up call to get your own head in it but rarely if every does it continue off the pitch, or even 5 minutes later as ultimately you are a team and need to just get on with it.

 

[fireproof78]

I was looking into the SNAP (what used to be food stamps) program but I thought I'd try Voc Rehab first, since I figured if I can get a job I won't need it. I might look some more since the Voc Rehab is going to take longer than I had hoped.

Better to get connected and not need it than to need it and not have it.

 

[Weyoun 251]

Been thinking a lot about what my mental health triggers are, what changes I'd like to effect in my life to take greater control and also to get more from life in general.

Two big things for me that keep coming up are that I'm generally crave structure but, in order to help cope with certain things I allowed myself to loosen up a bit - not necessarily a bad thing - but effectively overcorrected and also that I find myself feeling unheard (not necessarily in terms of people ignoring me when I talk to them but rather not having that outlet to speak the words in the first place).

I can basically track my mental health peaks and troughs through my BBS posting history as at times where I feel low I become more active on here - sometimes with productive and interesting things to say, sometimes chatting some absolute bollocks.

I know we have a number of members here too who struggle to socialise or leave the house - which having had periods where I would not leave the house for a couple of weeks and experiencing the impact over such a short period I can't fathom how it must be for that to be the rule not the exception and my heart goes out to you.

Anyway - what I was wondering was whether there might be interest in starting up a regular (or semi regular to start off with) Zoom/Teams call once a fortnight.

People don't have to use real names, turn their cameras on, or even speak if instead they just want to relax and listen and soak it in.

A concept I had in mind to add a twist to it - and its something I did on a podcast I had many years ago - would be that we start the session as kind of a "in the life of" bringing each other up to date on the previous couple of weeks, general ups and downs, anything that has cropped up where we might want advice etc and then 2nd half of the chat we pick a different "pop culture/general interest" topic each session where maybe someone with a huge passion for it can talk for a bit about how it has been important in their lives (say learning a musical instrument) and we can listen and learn before moving into a discussion format around that but also allowing for tangents and so on.

If we were to go ahead would maybe be worthwhile to agree some ground rules so that it is a safe space:

1) no interrupting someone else - if you have a question or something to add then use the chat box/raise hand function

2) also no hogging the mic time - we are all equally valuable so whilst no one is counting the number of words also remember that we all get a turn

3) you can question someone but you can't judge them - things that start with "well evangelical christians always....." or "the FAR LEFT is taking us to ruin...." doesn't help advance the discourse so keep it neutral as possible

4) that said - racism, ageism, homophobia, ableism, and anything else on those lines is strictly out and you may not get a second chance

5) understand that the lived experience of each of us are different and look for the commonality and understanding rather than focus on the divide

Be cool to get a show of hands - either direct reply or a thumbs up or if you don't want to publicise then a DM and if it seems viable then I'll try and get it sorted.

Disclaimer: I am not a trained therapist, nor do I pretend to be one - just a guy who thinks there is value in people just talking and getting to express themselves.

New rule - 6) no unsolicited advice or medical advice (medicines etc) as we aren't trained and it may put someone at risk

 

[fireproof78]

I've got stuff sitting on my external hard drive, that has to be pushing 20 years old. A lot of it is various Photoshop files (I like doing fan art as a hobby), plus fanfics that only reached a certain point because folks quit giving me any feedback. For example, one of my favorite teen-aimed sci-fi shows was the first version of Roswell, and I decided I wanted to try starting over. What I completed would probably only equal about two thirds of a single episode, but I couldn't bear to erase it since I spent so much effort trying to recreate what I loved about it. I also tried redoing Smallville, but again that bottomed out, getting to about 10 chapters before hitting another dead-end. I need both encouragement and helpful input to keep going; otherwise there doesn't seem to be much of a grander point.

Here's my thing about hobbies: rarely are they some sort of moral imperative or judgement on a person, save for ones violating the rights of others and mean fan fiction doesn't count.

Often times I feel regret over dumb decisions in my hobbies as a young man. Fan fiction, RPGs, costuming, films, prop making, I've done much of it and often think to myself,"that was a waste of time."

Ironically, I would now say that living a life of regret is a waste of time. Looking back and bemoaning choices does nothing for you. You can't go back, you won't land the dream girl, dream guy, dream job, dream life by looking backwards. That's an impossibility.

All you can do is learn from it, build off of it and recognize important knowledge gained through it. Often times, the knowledge I'm kicking myself for not knowing I wouldn't have known without some painful experiences.

All you can do is move forward.