Report to Starfleet Command RE: Project Overkill
[BEGIN MESSAGE]
To the Starfleet Chief of Staff, i want to let you know that, while i do understand that your son was excited when he showed Starfleet Engineering his plans for a 10-kilometer long Starship with enough weapons to glass an entire planet, there are several flaws in the concept that we have only been able to see after theory was put into practice.
First things first, the USS Overkill is so large that in many cases, supplies have to be shuffled around the ship by site-to-site transport, as the turbolifts won't go fast enough. Unfortunately, the cargo transporters have to be reset twice a day because they were not meant for handling this much traffic, same problem with the "people transporters", and there are reports of mass starvation in the port and starboard school facilities.
Second, the massive separation between the ship's sectors has led to a sort of... tribalism within the crew. The cargo handlers within the aft cargo sections, as well as much of the Engineering personnel, have declared themselves independent, and they launch frequent raids into the ship's medical facilities with replicated body armor, war-paint on their faces, and a cetacean head on a stick.
Third, the cramped living conditions inside some of the ship's bunks has led to disease spreading rampant, with a dysentery outbreak claiming much of the enlisted crew. Due to poor plumbing and waste disposal aboard the ship, much of the diarrhea from the bunks leaked into the shuttlebays for the Starbase-sized smallcraft complement this ship carries. The Shuttlebay Tribe, comprised of pilots and other personnel assigned to the shuttlebays, has understood this as an act of war, and for many days, the bunks have been under siege, with Shuttlebay Tribe personnel using torpedoes and other objects as battering rams to try and break through the forcefields and doors leading into the bunks.
Now, onto the shakedown. The ship's controls are so sluggish, and its speed so slow, that during a maneuver, we accidentally rendered a pre-warp planet uninhabitable while the extra-large viewscreen induced vertigo in my conn officer. Furthermore, the Klingons have sent a task force after us, and many planets have hired Ferengi mercenary ships to hunt us down and destroy the ship.
My advice? Please reassign me. ASAP. And tear this ship down.
[END MESSAGE]
[BEGIN MESSAGE]
To the Starfleet Chief of Staff, i want to let you know that, while i do understand that your son was excited when he showed Starfleet Engineering his plans for a 10-kilometer long Starship with enough weapons to glass an entire planet, there are several flaws in the concept that we have only been able to see after theory was put into practice.
First things first, the USS Overkill is so large that in many cases, supplies have to be shuffled around the ship by site-to-site transport, as the turbolifts won't go fast enough. Unfortunately, the cargo transporters have to be reset twice a day because they were not meant for handling this much traffic, same problem with the "people transporters", and there are reports of mass starvation in the port and starboard school facilities.
Second, the massive separation between the ship's sectors has led to a sort of... tribalism within the crew. The cargo handlers within the aft cargo sections, as well as much of the Engineering personnel, have declared themselves independent, and they launch frequent raids into the ship's medical facilities with replicated body armor, war-paint on their faces, and a cetacean head on a stick.
Third, the cramped living conditions inside some of the ship's bunks has led to disease spreading rampant, with a dysentery outbreak claiming much of the enlisted crew. Due to poor plumbing and waste disposal aboard the ship, much of the diarrhea from the bunks leaked into the shuttlebays for the Starbase-sized smallcraft complement this ship carries. The Shuttlebay Tribe, comprised of pilots and other personnel assigned to the shuttlebays, has understood this as an act of war, and for many days, the bunks have been under siege, with Shuttlebay Tribe personnel using torpedoes and other objects as battering rams to try and break through the forcefields and doors leading into the bunks.
Now, onto the shakedown. The ship's controls are so sluggish, and its speed so slow, that during a maneuver, we accidentally rendered a pre-warp planet uninhabitable while the extra-large viewscreen induced vertigo in my conn officer. Furthermore, the Klingons have sent a task force after us, and many planets have hired Ferengi mercenary ships to hunt us down and destroy the ship.
My advice? Please reassign me. ASAP. And tear this ship down.
[END MESSAGE]
