All things RED Dwarf

[Moviefan2k4]

I saw quite a bit of "Red Dwarf" in 2005, when I was living in Georgia...and to be honest, I didn't get it. A lady I was with at the time was a huge fan of the show, and she adored British comedy in general...but so much of it went completely over my head.

 

[The Knappos]

The thing about a black hole, its main distinguishing feature is, it’s black. And the thing about a space, the colour of space, your basic space colour is its black! So how are you supposed to see ‘em

 

[Moviefan2k4]

The thing about a black hole, its main distinguishing feature is, it’s black. And the thing about a space, the colour of space, your basic space colour is its black! So how are you supposed to see ‘em

If I remember my junior-high science class correctly, black holes are usually identified by their massive gravitational pull. Its so powerful, that most scientists say not even light can escape it.

 

[The Knappos]

If I remember my junior-high science class correctly, black holes are usually identified by their massive gravitational pull. Its so powerful, that most scientists say not even light can escape it.

The thing about grit is, it’s black. And the thing about scanner scopes is…

 

[Toril Toran]

Should have consulted the Junior Color Encyclopedia of Space….

Lister :”Are you all right Kryten?”
Kryten :” I’m fine. Thank you, Susan.”

 

[Toril Toran]

Rimmer :“Everyone loves a bastard.”

 

[Toril Toran]

Lister : "Look at what he's given me for dinner: a pea on toast. One pea. I tell you, I'm that far from cracking. [goes to squish the pea; it snaps away] I've lost my pea! Oh, that's it! I've cracked."

Rimmer : "He's just doing this to destroy your morale."

Lister: "Is he? Well, I want my pea back. It's my pea. I earned that pea. Where is it? I don't care if it's on the floor all covered in fluff, if it's under the bed with my toenail clippings, I don't care where it is -- it's my pea, I earned it, and I'm going to eat it no matter what!

Rimer : "It flew off into your dirty-sock basket."

Lister : "I'll just have the toast"

 

[The Knappos]

Twelve? You were twelve? Twelve?! You can’t have been a full member of the golf club then!

 

[Toril Toran]

“I’m going to eat you little fishy, I’m going to eat you little fishy, cause I like eating little fish!”

 

[The Knappos]

I’m sorry. I was reading the baked potato counter by mistake!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I saw quite a bit of "Red Dwarf" in 2005, when I was living in Georgia...and to be honest, I didn't get it. A lady I was with at the time was a huge fan of the show, and she adored British comedy in general...but so much of it went completely over my head.

I used to love the show - and I do still think it's funny - but I haven't watched it much lately because I have really gone away from shows with laugh tracks. Even when it's a live audience, as most are these days (I don't think there's been machine-generated laugh tracks for a long time).

Unless the audience is actually part of the show, of course.

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[Toril Toran]

Given that God is infinite and the universe is also infinite........ Would you like a toasted teacake?"

 

[The Knappos]

Look, I don't want any toast, and he doesn't want any toast. In fact, no one around here wants any toast. Not now, not ever. NO TOAST. OR muffins! OR muffins! We don't LIKE muffins around here! We want no muffins, no toast, no teacakes, no buns, baps, baguettes or bagels, no croissants, no crumpets, no pancakes, no potato cakes and no hot-cross buns and DEFINITELY no smegging flapjacks!

 

[Toril Toran]

OH! You’re a waffle man.


Lister: Some smegger's filled in this 'Have You Got A Good Memory' quiz.

Kryten: But that was you, sir. Last week. Don't you remember?

Lister: Was it?

Kryten: Hmm. Look: Nobody else spells 'Thursday' with an 'F'.

in Series VI, Episode 2

 

[Ar-Pharazon]

The Despair Squid's cousin was in a crossword today

 

[Toril Toran]

Rimmer: "I've seen Westerns, I know how to speak cowboy."

[Steps up to the bar]

Rimmer: "Dry white wine and Perrier, please."

- Rimmer, Gunmen of the Apocalypse

 

[Toril Toran]

Kryten: Well, is anything the matter?
Rimmer: [Deadpan] Anything the matter?? They're dead.
Kryten: Who's dead?
Rimmer, pointing at three skeletons: They are dead. They're all dead.
Kryten: My God!... I was only away two minutes!

 

[Toril Toran]

“Smoke me a kipper, I’ll be back for breakfast.”
“What a guy.”

 

[The Knappos]

Robert ‘Kryten’ Llewellyn let slip on a live stream this week that they’re filming a new 90 minute special in October

 

[The Knappos]

And now back to quotes:

Urine should only be green if you’re Mr Spock