Rewriting Picard from the start
- Thread starter adamisme
- Start date
For sure. It’s amazing really.
For season 3 I would have done the following:
I would keep episodes 1-4 mostly the same but with a few tweaks:
- Remove all Mtalas Prime scenes. They added nothing to the overall plot.
- Remove Raffi as a character entirely, she wasn’t needed.
- Remove introduction of the Jack Mystery Box from Episode 3, it was introduced too early.
- Remove Riker’s infamous “You killed us all” line from Episode 3, it was too out of character.
- Remove the portal weapon, it was unnecessary to the plot.
For the rest of the episodes, I would have added a lot more backstory to the Borg Queen and Vadic and really fleshed out the idea of a Borg / Changling alliance. This would have been really interesting and a great way to dive into DS9, TNG, and VOY lore to tie it all together. How do the changlings feel about the Borg and vice versa? What are the power dynamics in the alliance? An alliance between two of Trek's greatest villans deserved a lot more attention than it got.
I would have introduced a series of flashbacks after the Borg were revealed as the big bad, here’s a rough outline:
- Do a “previously on Star Trek” at the beginning of the episode, play clips from Voyagers Endgame. Show that Janeway’s virus spread through the Borg eating away at the collective and eroding their ability to assimilate
- Show flashback scene where Section 31 takes advantage of the Borg’s weakened state to send a swat team back through the transwarp conduit and capture the Borg Queen. The Borg Queen is brought to Daystorm station and deactivated. Jack’s transmitting activates the Borg Queen. She is then able to free the changlings and subjugate them. The Borg Queen and changlings flee Daystorm station, taking Picard’s body with them.
- I would have also added a scene showing Starfleet’s decision to roll out Fleet Formation to all the ships with changling infiltrators leading the support and Shelby leading the opposition. The changlings could have used fear to push Fleet Formation through, with the Starfleet brass not fully understanding the technology they approved.
I would keep episodes 1-4 mostly the same but with a few tweaks:
- Remove all Mtalas Prime scenes. They added nothing to the overall plot.
- Remove Raffi as a character entirely, she wasn’t needed.
- Remove introduction of the Jack Mystery Box from Episode 3, it was introduced too early.
- Remove Riker’s infamous “You killed us all” line from Episode 3, it was too out of character.
- Remove the portal weapon, it was unnecessary to the plot.
For the rest of the episodes, I would have added a lot more backstory to the Borg Queen and Vadic and really fleshed out the idea of a Borg / Changling alliance. This would have been really interesting and a great way to dive into DS9, TNG, and VOY lore to tie it all together. How do the changlings feel about the Borg and vice versa? What are the power dynamics in the alliance? An alliance between two of Trek's greatest villans deserved a lot more attention than it got.
I would have introduced a series of flashbacks after the Borg were revealed as the big bad, here’s a rough outline:
- Do a “previously on Star Trek” at the beginning of the episode, play clips from Voyagers Endgame. Show that Janeway’s virus spread through the Borg eating away at the collective and eroding their ability to assimilate
- Show flashback scene where Section 31 takes advantage of the Borg’s weakened state to send a swat team back through the transwarp conduit and capture the Borg Queen. The Borg Queen is brought to Daystorm station and deactivated. Jack’s transmitting activates the Borg Queen. She is then able to free the changlings and subjugate them. The Borg Queen and changlings flee Daystorm station, taking Picard’s body with them.
- I would have also added a scene showing Starfleet’s decision to roll out Fleet Formation to all the ships with changling infiltrators leading the support and Shelby leading the opposition. The changlings could have used fear to push Fleet Formation through, with the Starfleet brass not fully understanding the technology they approved.
I like the flow and logic of this, especially the way it emphasizes 'show don't tell.'
Personally, I would let Data just stay dead. No Soongs, either. If Spiner wanted to be involved, find some other way to include him. There is no law that says he has to play a ringer for Data or a Soong. Just write him a new character and make him up to look a little different. Or make him a Tellarite or something.
I really love the solution they came up with for Data in S3. As well as it was done, him dying again never really sat well with me.
So I think I would have had them do something similar. Maybe have Geordi be on the Synth planet working with Soong on the project. Then at the end of the season Data either joins Picards new crew or stays on the planet with Geordi, Soong and his ”children”
So I think I would have had them do something similar. Maybe have Geordi be on the Synth planet working with Soong on the project. Then at the end of the season Data either joins Picards new crew or stays on the planet with Geordi, Soong and his ”children”
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/F53-O6uXYAAsVVR?format=jpg&name=smallBe ready for disappointment.[/Dread Pirate Roberts]
Good thread idea. Because that show had SO much potential. And I really liked how it started. So - what would I change:
Season 1:
Just scrap the whole thing, or do something completely different. Old man being called back to action by a now sympathetic Starfleet, because he's there only one that can solve/has a personal connection/knows some old-school, derelict tech. Space Cowboys
Season 3:
Season 1:
- Reduce the number of episodes to about 6
- Don't make it an ensemble: This is Picard, his caretaker (Laris and/or Zhaban travelling with him), and the crew of whatever ship they hired
- Make him go to this old friends (Riker) FIRST - and then they can't help him (due to their own obligations), but they set him up with this shady ship
- Scrap the whole robot uprising angle, and don't make it epic: It's the Romulans fiddling with Borg tech, and on the finale that grows over their head, the Borg cube comes back to live, and needs to be stopped - without killing all the Borg and ex-Bs with it
- Keep Brent Spiner out of it
Just scrap the whole thing, or do something completely different. Old man being called back to action by a now sympathetic Starfleet, because he's there only one that can solve/has a personal connection/knows some old-school, derelict tech. Space Cowboys
Season 3:
- Again, only 6 episodes, the tension didn't hold that long
- Keep the Borg completely out of it - it's a changeling conspiracy, that needs to be solved without reigniting the Dominion war (and yeah, make the actual fucking Dominion at least part of the story)
- Make the hero ship an actual 24th century ship. Hell just take the Stargazer.
Revisiting this, had another thought, sort of a callback to Tapestries at the end.
JL dies, and in the final scene he appears in a white space with Q. The two have some final, introspective conversation, and then Q grins at him and asks if he's ready 'for all the answers.' JL eagerly says yes, but then Q admits he doesn't know them all, and can only show him a few.
Q throws an arm around his shoulder like an old friend, they turn their backs to the camera, and walk into an ever-expanding light. Credits.
This would be a very sweet and touching scene!
Too nebulous to me.
I like the afterlife but not for this show.
I like the afterlife but not for this show.
The ending of "All Good Things..." where Q and Picard have their final words between each other.
Q:
The Continuum didn't think you had it in you, Jean-Luc, but I knew you did.
PICARD:
Are you saying that it worked? We collapsed the anomaly?
Q:
Is that all this meant to you? Just another spatial anomaly? Just another day at the office?
PICARD:
Did it work?
Q:
Well, you're here, aren't you? You're talking to me, aren't you?
PICARD:
What about my crew?
Q:
The anomaly. My crew. My ship. I suppose you're worried about your fish, too. Well, if it puts your mind at ease, you've saved humanity once again.
PICARD:
Thank you.
Q:
For what?
PICARD:
You had a hand in helping me get out of this.
Q:
I was the one that got you into it. A directive from the Continuum. The part about the helping hand, though, was my idea.
PICARD:
I sincerely hope that this is the last time that I find myself here.
Q:
You just don't get it, do you, Jean-Luc? The trial never ends. We wanted to see if you had the ability to expand your mind and your horizons. And for one brief moment, you did.
PICARD:
When I realized the paradox.
Q:
Exactly. For that one fraction of a second, you were open to options you had never considered. That is the exploration that awaits you. Not mapping stars and studying nebulae, but charting the unknowable possibilities of existence.
PICARD:
Q, what is it that you're trying to tell me?
(Q nearly whispers in Picard's ear, and rises with a smile)
Q:
You'll find out. In any case, I'll be watching. And if you're very lucky, I'll drop by to say hello from time to time. See you out there.
Its those words where I would've had Picard with family restoring his name and legacy out in the farther reaches of space. Having a realization of his age he knows exploring is limited but he still wishes to do it until... his research ship discovers a wave of radiation which is pulsing from a nearby star. Picard and his crew, his family, discovers the wave is a fragment of warp space and brainstorms to figure out what would cause such an event???
As their ship, USS Calypso, travels forward strange things occur as each warp fragment moves by them... until Picard is back in the court once again meeting Q to introduce him to his new trial and exploring the unknowable possibilities of existence. Picard would be facing aliens he's never encountered before and most would be non humanoid.
Not to rain on your rewrite parade, but that entire section of dialogue was meant to be foreshadowing the Nexus, since AGT and Generations were filmed at the same time. But don't let me stop you from coming up with your own interpretation.
It was the element I liked about PICARD so much was the main characters weren't starfleet and they could open the door to none starfleet related adventures. I wish that was the series, by doing something new. Rios was a very interesting character and I warmed up to his ship.
So I started writing this out quite a while ago and abandoned it, but I recently picked it back up and finished it so I figured I might as well post it. It's sort of remixing elements of Season 1 with some ideas I had. Basically more Romulans, less synths, and (for better or worse) more continuity porn. Also it's way too long, so I'll break it up in spoiler tags. If anyone actually reads all this, you have my gratitude.
Episode 1:
Episode 2:
Episode 3:
Episode 4:
Episode 5:
Episode 6:
Episode 7:
Episode 8:
Episode 9:
Episode 10:
Episode 1:
Picard dreams he's on the Enterprise-E with Data, and that it's attacked by a fleet of ships. Picard wakes up in what seems to be a small, sparse apartment. He goes about his morning routine until he begins hearing voices, gets dizzy, and passes out. It's revealed that he's in a Starfleet prison. Meanwhile, in a city on a planet near the (former) Neutral Zone, a girl (Soji) wakes up in an abandoned building. She's disoriented and wanders out into the street, where she's attacked by a group of masked assassins. She fights and evades them until she's saved by a stranger, Rios. They get to his ship, La Sirena, and escape. She explains she doesn't remember anything prior to waking up in the building, she only knows her name. Back at the prison, Picard is checked out by a doctor. He tells Picard that the treatment that was preventing the progression of his Iromodic Syndrome is no longer working. They can up his medication to mask the symptoms for a while, but it will eventually stop working. On La Sirena, Soji sees a report on Picard's imminent release from Prison and feels that he seems familiar. Rios is dubious, but they head for Earth.
Days later Picard is released and goes home to Chateau Picard. He is greeted by Laris, a former Tal Shiar agent who worked with Picard on the evacuation of Romulus and now runs the vineyards. Laris and Picard talk about the situation in Romulan space: since the destruction of Romulus, the Romulan Empire has collapsed. The Klingons have claimed most of former Romulan territory, but struggle to control or administrate it, so it's a chaotic and dangerous area. Relations between the Federation and Klingons are strained (Martok has been deposed), but the Federation is reluctant to start a war by helping the Romulans. There are pockets of Romulan refugees scattered throughout the Federation, but they're refusing to allow more. That night Soji and Rios arrive at Chateau Picard, but are immediately attacked by the assassins again. Picard and Laris help defeat them, but Soji is hit and knocked out. As they tend to her they see her positronic circuitry, Picard realizes she's an android.
Days later Picard is released and goes home to Chateau Picard. He is greeted by Laris, a former Tal Shiar agent who worked with Picard on the evacuation of Romulus and now runs the vineyards. Laris and Picard talk about the situation in Romulan space: since the destruction of Romulus, the Romulan Empire has collapsed. The Klingons have claimed most of former Romulan territory, but struggle to control or administrate it, so it's a chaotic and dangerous area. Relations between the Federation and Klingons are strained (Martok has been deposed), but the Federation is reluctant to start a war by helping the Romulans. There are pockets of Romulan refugees scattered throughout the Federation, but they're refusing to allow more. That night Soji and Rios arrive at Chateau Picard, but are immediately attacked by the assassins again. Picard and Laris help defeat them, but Soji is hit and knocked out. As they tend to her they see her positronic circuitry, Picard realizes she's an android.
Episode 2:
The group finds that Soji is not badly damaged, but they can't reactivate her. They also find that the assassins are Romulan, and Laris recognizes them as Zhat Vash (a secret subset of the Tal Shiar) but she doesn't understand how they could still be active. Picard is reluctant to go to Starfleet, so instead decides to take Soji to Bruce Maddox, who left Starfleet years before. At Maddox's lab he instead he finds Maddox's former partner, Agnes Jurati, who informs him that Maddox has been missing for months. Jurati repairs Soji and discovers that her positronic brain has similarities to Data's, even more similar than Lore or B4's. Jurati isn't sure if Maddox would be capable of building Soji, but she believes his disappearance must have something to do with this, and asks to come with them. Meanwhile Laris goes to a Romulan settlement on Earth to ask former associates about the Zhat Vash. Someone tries to kill her, but she's saved by Raffi, who was Picard's first officer during the evacuation of Romulus. Raffi says she's been living among the Romulans since she was released from prison, because she doesn't feel welcome among humans. Laris explains the situation, and Raffi says she knows someone in the former Neutral Zone who might know something. They all (Picard, Soji, Rios, Jurati, Laris, and Raffi) get back together and head for the Neutral Zone on La Sirena. However they are being followed by a cloaked Romulan ship.
Episode 3:
On the way to the Neutral Zone Picard and Raffi hash out their past. Flashback to 10 years ago. Starfleet balks at Captain Picard's request to mobilize the entire fleet to evacuate Romulus. They instead give him a handful of ships from the mothball fleet. They also promote him to Admiral and transfer him off the Enterprise-E, which he knows means he's being benched. This will be his final mission. On the way to Romulus, Raffi suggests that a good portion of the fleet would follow Picard over Starfleet Command, giving him the idea to essentially call for a fleet-wide mutiny. Picard puts out the call and hundreds of ships show up. A while later Picard's ship is offloading Romulans at an evacuation site when they're hailed from Romulus by Riker on the Titan. The Romulan star is going supernova sooner than expected, and causing some kind of subspace distortion that's preventing them from going to warp. Communications cut out, and a short time later they confirm Romulus has been destroyed. And along with it, a significant portion of Starfleet, including Riker and Troi on the Titan. Picard is devastated, Picard and Raffi are court-martialed and sent to prison. Back in the present day they arrive in the Neutral Zone and find Raffi's friend, Seven of Nine, under attack by Starfleet.
Episode 4:
They help Seven get away from the Starfleet ships and back across the border into Romulan space. Seven was stealing supplies from the Federation to help the Romulan colonies in the former Neutral Zone. They ask her about the Zhat Vash, and she's heard rumors, but nothing concrete. But she has heard there is someone looking for specific materials and equipment, the kinds of things you'd need to create positronic androids. She thinks she can set up a meeting, but she wants their help with something first. She's been smuggling Romulan refugees across the border into Federation space, but she's running out of time. A colony is about to fall to the Klingons, and she wants to get them all across before that happens. They have ships, but they need help getting across the detection grid at the border. They help her and she sets up the meeting.
Episode 5:
Seven takes Picard and Raffi alone. They arrive to the meeting and find Maddox, who is confused, but happy to see Picard. They start to compare notes but realize Maddox is being followed. Hijinks ensue. Amongst the hijinks Maddox explains, he built Soji (and her sister Daj) with Noonien Soong's son Altan. Maddox and Soji had gone out to get the materials they needed to continue their work but they were attacked and got separated. They gave Soji the ability to erase her own memory if she thought she was going to be captured, in order to protect themselves and their work. That work being that they're attempting to rebuild Data. Picard doesn't understand, Maddox explains that at some point before Nemesis he and Data worked together to reenforce his cranium with shields (or something) and Maddox knew it should have survived the explosion of the Scimitar at least partially intact. Eventually they were able to track it down and steal it from the Zhat Vash (who had recovered it). That's why the Zhat Vash are after them. It had been more heavily damaged than expected however, and their attempts to repair it led to the creation of Soji and Daj. They manage to evade the Zhat Vash and meet back up with the group on La Sirena. On the ship Maddox is stunned to see Jurati, and before anyone can react Jurati grabs Maddox, activates a device, and beams away. They materialize in a Romulan transporter room and are met by Sela, who greets Jurati as "daughter".
Episode 6:
Jurati gets her Romulan ears surgically restored as Sela tells her this is a good first step, but she won't have fully atoned for her crimes until Data's positronic brain has been destroyed. She questions why it has to be destroyed, and Sela admonishes her for questioning orders, again. They interrogate Maddox for the location of the lab, to no avail. They begin to torture him. Flashback to Jurati's past: she was a Romulan cyberneticist who was brought in to study Data's brain. It quickly becomes clear that the Romulans are only interested in downloading whatever Federation secrets he might know, and shut down any other research. Eventually she realizes she's about to be thrown off the project, and gets in contact with Maddox, who she had earlier become acquainted with as he tried to track down Data's neural net. Together they hatch a plan to steal it, which they pull off successfully. They surgically alter her to appear human, and create the Agnes Jurati identity for her. She begins working with Maddox on Earth and they develop a romantic relationship. Soong and Maddox decide to take Data's neural net to a secret lab for safekeeping, but don't trust Jurati enough to include her. This drives a wedge between her and Maddox, and they break up. Shortly thereafter Maddox disappears. Despondent, Jurati contacts her mother who instructs her to remain on Earth and try to find a way to track down Maddox and the neural net.
Jurati reports her progress interrogating Maddox to Sela, but it's clear that Sela is still bitterly disappointed in her. She goes back and pushes the torture harder, until Maddox finally breaks and tells her the location of his and Soong's lab, and then dies. This disturbs Jurari greatly. She goes back to Sela and reports Maddox's death, but lies and says he didn't give up the location. Sela admonishes her for her failure, and tells her she's confined to quarters. Jurati blows something up as a distraction, and heads for the shuttlebay. As she's about to get in a shuttle, Sela comes in and has her at disruptor point. Jurati doesn't believe Sela will try and kill her and turns to leave. Sela fires, but Jurati avoids it, taking a glancing hit, which leaves a large burn on her side. She manages to get on the shuttle and launch. Sela fires at the shuttle as it escapes. The shuttle cloaks and gets away. Jurati meets back up with La Sirena. She tells them Maddox is dead, but not that she killed him. She claims she was lied to. She gives them the location of the lab, and the cloaking device from the shuttle, which will allow them to evade the Zhat Vash who have been following them.
Jurati reports her progress interrogating Maddox to Sela, but it's clear that Sela is still bitterly disappointed in her. She goes back and pushes the torture harder, until Maddox finally breaks and tells her the location of his and Soong's lab, and then dies. This disturbs Jurari greatly. She goes back to Sela and reports Maddox's death, but lies and says he didn't give up the location. Sela admonishes her for her failure, and tells her she's confined to quarters. Jurati blows something up as a distraction, and heads for the shuttlebay. As she's about to get in a shuttle, Sela comes in and has her at disruptor point. Jurati doesn't believe Sela will try and kill her and turns to leave. Sela fires, but Jurati avoids it, taking a glancing hit, which leaves a large burn on her side. She manages to get on the shuttle and launch. Sela fires at the shuttle as it escapes. The shuttle cloaks and gets away. Jurati meets back up with La Sirena. She tells them Maddox is dead, but not that she killed him. She claims she was lied to. She gives them the location of the lab, and the cloaking device from the shuttle, which will allow them to evade the Zhat Vash who have been following them.
Episode 7:
They arrive at Maddox and Soong's lab, Soong is there with Daj. They break the news about Maddox. Soong takes Soji back to the lab to restore a backup of her memories. Picard asks Soong where he was born, that there was no record of Soong having a son. Soong counters that there was no record of a lot of things regarding his father. As Soji's memories reintegrate she becomes incoherent. Picard is concerned, but Soong assures him that this is normal. Soji mentions Lore, and Picard ask what she knows about Lore. Soji points to Soong: "He is Lore". Soong/Lore apologizes before shooting Picard with a phaser.
Picard wakes up restrained in a biobed; he's only been stunned. Soji is there, he asks her to let him out, but she refuses. Lore comes back, and assures Picard that everyone is fine. Lore explains, he knows it will be hard for Picard to accept, but he was never evil. He was malfunctioning. In human terms, he was mentally ill. Lore compares it to the situation Picard is in, with the Iromotic Syndrome (which he discovered checking if Picard was okay after the phaser blast). Lore starts to offer to cure him with a positronic implant, but Picard isn't interested. Lore continues, Data understood Lore was malfunctioning, and spent years studying how to fix him, and eventually enlisted Maddox to help. Knowing Starfleet wouldn't approve, they did it in secret, and eventually succeeded. Using Juliana Tainer as a model they modified him to pass as human, and created the identity of Altan Soong so he could have a new start. When Data was destroyed Lore felt a responsibility to help him.
Lore releases Picard and takes him to another room and shows him Data's burnt and melted positronic brain. The lights are dim and flash slowly. Lore continues, portions of Data's brain are too heavily damaged to repair and need to be replaced. But the problem is, he needs developed donor positrons, and the only way to do that is to allow a positronic brain to develop to sentience. So Soong and Maddox began to work on building new androids, so that they could minimize the risk by taking a small amount from each one. But now Maddox is dead, he has no materials, and they're out of time. He intends to attempt the procedure now, using only Soji and Daj.
Picard argues that the risk is too great, that is Lore has truly changed, he would understand that doing this is wrong. They go back and forth, Picard eventually convinces him that Data wouldn't want this. Lore stands down, he'll have to find another way to bring Data back. Later everyone is together discussing their next move. The Zhat Vash still want Data's brain back. Jurati corrects them, the Zhat Vash don't want it back, they want it destroyed. Picard questions why they would be going to this much trouble just to destroy Data's brain. Laris points out that they didn't seem to be looking that hard for it until recently, until Lore and Maddox were making progress on bringing him back. She continues, the first thing they would have done when they recovered the brain would be to connect to it to try and learn whatever Federation secrets Data knew. So what if that connection went two ways, what if Data knows something that the Zhat Vash want to keep hidden? They ask Lore if there's a way to search Data's memories, but Lore doesn't think so. Seven proposes an alternate idea: they could temporarily repair Data's brain with holomatter, and ask him.
Picard wakes up restrained in a biobed; he's only been stunned. Soji is there, he asks her to let him out, but she refuses. Lore comes back, and assures Picard that everyone is fine. Lore explains, he knows it will be hard for Picard to accept, but he was never evil. He was malfunctioning. In human terms, he was mentally ill. Lore compares it to the situation Picard is in, with the Iromotic Syndrome (which he discovered checking if Picard was okay after the phaser blast). Lore starts to offer to cure him with a positronic implant, but Picard isn't interested. Lore continues, Data understood Lore was malfunctioning, and spent years studying how to fix him, and eventually enlisted Maddox to help. Knowing Starfleet wouldn't approve, they did it in secret, and eventually succeeded. Using Juliana Tainer as a model they modified him to pass as human, and created the identity of Altan Soong so he could have a new start. When Data was destroyed Lore felt a responsibility to help him.
Lore releases Picard and takes him to another room and shows him Data's burnt and melted positronic brain. The lights are dim and flash slowly. Lore continues, portions of Data's brain are too heavily damaged to repair and need to be replaced. But the problem is, he needs developed donor positrons, and the only way to do that is to allow a positronic brain to develop to sentience. So Soong and Maddox began to work on building new androids, so that they could minimize the risk by taking a small amount from each one. But now Maddox is dead, he has no materials, and they're out of time. He intends to attempt the procedure now, using only Soji and Daj.
Picard argues that the risk is too great, that is Lore has truly changed, he would understand that doing this is wrong. They go back and forth, Picard eventually convinces him that Data wouldn't want this. Lore stands down, he'll have to find another way to bring Data back. Later everyone is together discussing their next move. The Zhat Vash still want Data's brain back. Jurati corrects them, the Zhat Vash don't want it back, they want it destroyed. Picard questions why they would be going to this much trouble just to destroy Data's brain. Laris points out that they didn't seem to be looking that hard for it until recently, until Lore and Maddox were making progress on bringing him back. She continues, the first thing they would have done when they recovered the brain would be to connect to it to try and learn whatever Federation secrets Data knew. So what if that connection went two ways, what if Data knows something that the Zhat Vash want to keep hidden? They ask Lore if there's a way to search Data's memories, but Lore doesn't think so. Seven proposes an alternate idea: they could temporarily repair Data's brain with holomatter, and ask him.
Episode 8:
They've installed holo-emitters in the room Data's brain is in, turning it into a makeshift holodeck. Lore and Seven will need to stay in the main lab to keep the simulation running, so Picard will be the one who goes in to speak to Data. Seven cautions Picard, the holomatter repairs will only hold up for a short time, so he will need to hurry. The simulation begins, and Picard is subjected to a surreal mishmash of memories. He struggles to break through. They send in Soji and Daj, and the three of them manage to get through to Data. As they do, the holograms coalesce into a holographic Data. They talk about what's gone on; Picard introduces him to his daughters. But to the subject at hand, Data isn't sure what he could know. His memories after his death are fragmented and confusing. They work their way though it, eventually piecing together a picture of the moment his brain was first reactivated after the explosion of the Narada. He's in a lab on a secret Zhat Vash station. Data's mind was connected to their system, and he discovered what the station was: the control station for a network of cloaked satellites orbiting the Romulan star, artificially keeping it alive, years before the supernova.
This is the secret history of Romulus. The star was dying from the time Romulus was settled from Vulcan. They created this aparatus to keep it from going supernova, then became obsessed with keeping that fact secret. This is where the obsession with secrecy in Romulan culture comes from. They invented the cloaking device to hide the satellites. Eventually the secret became so well kept only a select few, the Zhat Vash, knew about it. When the condition of the star began to worsen, the Zhat Vash worked in secret to try and stabilize it, but were in denial about the severity of the problem until it was too late. The satellites remained hidden, but they couldn't hide the condition of the star anymore. This is also why the star went nova earlier than expected, and the source of the subspace interference that prevented the ships from escaping. As they absorb this Picard realizes there must be something else. Why would the Zhat Vash be so invested in keeping this secret now, with Romulus destroyed? Picard asks Data what information the Romulans tried to get from his brain. Data remembers, they were only really concerned with the events around his death, and what he observed about the Thalaron weapon. The picture of the lab becomes clearer, and they realize it's full of wreckage from the Narada. The Zhat Vash are trying to rebuild the Thalaron Weapon. Data points out that, with a weapon like that, the Zhat Vash could destroy the native population of a planet without damaging the infrastructure, making it a perfect weapon for conquering a new homeworld for the Romulans.
Finally the holomatter repairs begin to fail, and the holo simulation begins to fall apart. Data asks Picard and Lore to allow him to die; he doesn't want to exist in the incoherent half-conscious state he's been in for the past 20 years. And besides, he's already achieved immortality as a human does: through his children. Data thanks Lore and says his goodbyes, and his hologram fades out, leaving only the positronic brain. The lights flicker and fade out as Data dies. Later Picard tries to contact Starfleet again, but no one will listen. They decide their only option is to try and collect more evidence, so they head to the Romulus system.
This is the secret history of Romulus. The star was dying from the time Romulus was settled from Vulcan. They created this aparatus to keep it from going supernova, then became obsessed with keeping that fact secret. This is where the obsession with secrecy in Romulan culture comes from. They invented the cloaking device to hide the satellites. Eventually the secret became so well kept only a select few, the Zhat Vash, knew about it. When the condition of the star began to worsen, the Zhat Vash worked in secret to try and stabilize it, but were in denial about the severity of the problem until it was too late. The satellites remained hidden, but they couldn't hide the condition of the star anymore. This is also why the star went nova earlier than expected, and the source of the subspace interference that prevented the ships from escaping. As they absorb this Picard realizes there must be something else. Why would the Zhat Vash be so invested in keeping this secret now, with Romulus destroyed? Picard asks Data what information the Romulans tried to get from his brain. Data remembers, they were only really concerned with the events around his death, and what he observed about the Thalaron weapon. The picture of the lab becomes clearer, and they realize it's full of wreckage from the Narada. The Zhat Vash are trying to rebuild the Thalaron Weapon. Data points out that, with a weapon like that, the Zhat Vash could destroy the native population of a planet without damaging the infrastructure, making it a perfect weapon for conquering a new homeworld for the Romulans.
Finally the holomatter repairs begin to fail, and the holo simulation begins to fall apart. Data asks Picard and Lore to allow him to die; he doesn't want to exist in the incoherent half-conscious state he's been in for the past 20 years. And besides, he's already achieved immortality as a human does: through his children. Data thanks Lore and says his goodbyes, and his hologram fades out, leaving only the positronic brain. The lights flicker and fade out as Data dies. Later Picard tries to contact Starfleet again, but no one will listen. They decide their only option is to try and collect more evidence, so they head to the Romulus system.
Episode 9:
They arrive in the Romulus system cloaked, and find more ship activity in the area than they expected. They begin scanning the system, looking for evidence. They don't find anything, but they do notice a strange pattern in the background radiation. It's a series of numbers in Morse code, which they realize is a set of coordinates in the star system. They go there, but find nothing. They surmise that it might be some kind of cloaked station, so they beam a tricorder to the coordinates to test, but they lose contact with it as soon as it materializes. Picard decides he will beam over personally, alone, so as not to risk anyone else. The logic being, with the signal being Morse code, whoever is on the other side should be human and he'll be fine. And if he's wrong he doesn't want to risk anyone else. So Picard rematerializes and finds himself in a meadow. He looks up, and instead of a sun there is some type of artificial light in the sky. He starts looking around, and runs into a young human girl. She runs away and he goes after her. He follows her to a cabin, and as he approaches Will Riker comes out to greet him, "Welcome to Romulus".
They go in, Troi is there, and the girl is their daughter. Riker explains what's happening. When the Romulan star began to go supernova, after communication was cut off, the planet Romulus seemed to vanish in front of them. Looking at the sensor readings Riker realized, due to his experience on the Pegasus, that the entire planet was somehow phase cloaked. Riker gave the order for all ships to beam their crews down to the coordinates of the planet. Since the ships were configured for mass evacuation many of the Starfleet personel were able to beam down before the supernova shockwave reached Romulus. The Zhat Vash had set up the phase cloak in secret, and now presented themselves as the saviors of Romulus, gaining a large amount of political sway. They attempted to capture all the Starfleet survivors, but eventually cut a deal. The Starfleet personnel would be allowed to live, but would be quarantined on an island with minimal access to technology. After several years, and with the help of the Romulan Underground, they were able to devise a way to hide the signal in the background radiation. Picard asks about the Thalaron weapon, but Riker doesn't know anything. They decide to contact the Romulan Underground.
They go to the capitol of Romulus to meet with representatives of the Romulan Underground, including Elnor, a decendant of Spock. The underground knew the Zhat Vash was building something in secret, but they didn't know what. But they believe the target is most likely Qo'noS. They decide their only option is to try infiltrate the facility and destroy the weapon. While the underground sends their team, Picard wants to go talk with the Praetor, who is someone he and Laris worked with during the evacuation of Romulus. Picard believes he might be reasonable. Picard, Laris, and Elnor go to the capitol and with some doing manage to get a meeting. When they enter the find Sela there with the Praetor. Sela informs them that their infiltration team has already been captured and the weapon is nearly ready for launch.
They go in, Troi is there, and the girl is their daughter. Riker explains what's happening. When the Romulan star began to go supernova, after communication was cut off, the planet Romulus seemed to vanish in front of them. Looking at the sensor readings Riker realized, due to his experience on the Pegasus, that the entire planet was somehow phase cloaked. Riker gave the order for all ships to beam their crews down to the coordinates of the planet. Since the ships were configured for mass evacuation many of the Starfleet personel were able to beam down before the supernova shockwave reached Romulus. The Zhat Vash had set up the phase cloak in secret, and now presented themselves as the saviors of Romulus, gaining a large amount of political sway. They attempted to capture all the Starfleet survivors, but eventually cut a deal. The Starfleet personnel would be allowed to live, but would be quarantined on an island with minimal access to technology. After several years, and with the help of the Romulan Underground, they were able to devise a way to hide the signal in the background radiation. Picard asks about the Thalaron weapon, but Riker doesn't know anything. They decide to contact the Romulan Underground.
They go to the capitol of Romulus to meet with representatives of the Romulan Underground, including Elnor, a decendant of Spock. The underground knew the Zhat Vash was building something in secret, but they didn't know what. But they believe the target is most likely Qo'noS. They decide their only option is to try infiltrate the facility and destroy the weapon. While the underground sends their team, Picard wants to go talk with the Praetor, who is someone he and Laris worked with during the evacuation of Romulus. Picard believes he might be reasonable. Picard, Laris, and Elnor go to the capitol and with some doing manage to get a meeting. When they enter the find Sela there with the Praetor. Sela informs them that their infiltration team has already been captured and the weapon is nearly ready for launch.
Episode 10:
Picard attempts to convince the Praetor to call off the attack. He argues that it will cause a war, not only with the Klingons, but also with the Federation. And the Romulans would lose. The Praetor counters, there's already a war with the Klingons, and they are losing. Romulus can't stay hidden much longer, and with the Federation unwilling to help, he feels this is their only chance of survival. Picard understands, but for the Federation to step in and take up arms against the Klingons would just start a different war. But, Picard suggests, there could be another way. If Romulus joined the Federation they could claim the territory. It would certainly end the alliance with the Klingons, but it might thread the needle to avoid a war. The Praetor is dubious. Even if that would work, going through the Federation bureaucracy would take years. Elnor interjects, perhaps not. He elaborates, Spock believed Romulus was entitled to Federation membership under the terms of the Federation Charter, as a pre-existing Vulcan colony at the time the charter was signed. Picard realizes this is correct, Romulus would become a Vulcan protectorate, it would only need to be approved by the Romulan Senate and the Vulcan Council. The Praetor considers this, which infuriates Sela. She interjects, but the Praetor shuts her down. The Praetor states he will take it to the Senate. Sela is incensed, and beams herself away. As they try to figure out what she's doing there is a momentary visual distortion, which the Praetor realizes means that the planetary cloak has dropped. They see out the window in the distance a Warbird launching from the facility. Picard signals La Sirena to beam them up.
On board La Sirena, Rios questions what they're supposed to do against a Warbird. They dodge disruptor fire as the Warbird climbs out of the atmosphere. Laris, having previously served on a Warbird knows a way they might be able to punch the ship through the shields. They do it, and fly in between the hulls, almost hitting the Thalaron generator, which is built into the space between the hulls. Now inside the shields, they beam onto the bridge of the Warbird. A firefight breaks out. They're quickly pinned down by the bridge crew. Sela tells them this is pointless, they're just delaying the inevitable. Jurati and Picard try to reason with Sela, but to no avail. Jurati gets to a console and beams herself away. Sela orders someone to figure out where she went. Jurati materializes back on board La Sirena. She takes the controls and crashes the ship into the Thalaron generator, destroying it and heavily damaging the Warbird. As the explosion jostles the ship, the firefight breaks back out. Sela gets to the helm as Picard & co neutralize the remaining bridge crew. Picard tries to get to Sela, but she turns and points her disruptor at him, getting into a standoff. She says she'd rather see Romulus destroyed than join the Federation, pushes a button on the console, then disintegrates herself with her disruptor.
They go to the console and discover she's set the ship on a collision course for the Romulan Senate building, and locked out the controls. Laris thinks she could override it, but not in time. The best she can do is to rig up the maneuvering thrusters on manual override, but they won't be able to avoid the planet entirely, they'll have to try to crash in the ocean. And someone will have to stay behind to operate it. Picard insists it will be him, but Soji protests, as an android she'd be more likely to survive. Picard tells her that her father sacrificed himself to save him, and now it's his (Picard's) turn to repay the favor. Laris sets off the alarm to abandon ship, they say their goodbyes, and everyone but Picard gets in the escape pod. Picard sits in the captain's chair and operates the thrusters. The ship reenters, and heads toward the capitol. He manages to pull up just enough to miss it, and the ship careens off, out to sea. Finally the nose catches the water and the ship lurches forward, into the ocean. Water busts through the forward windows, flooding the bridge. The chaos fades to white, then Picard finds himself in the white void. And Q is there, he asks, "did you really think you'd get off that easily?"
On board La Sirena, Rios questions what they're supposed to do against a Warbird. They dodge disruptor fire as the Warbird climbs out of the atmosphere. Laris, having previously served on a Warbird knows a way they might be able to punch the ship through the shields. They do it, and fly in between the hulls, almost hitting the Thalaron generator, which is built into the space between the hulls. Now inside the shields, they beam onto the bridge of the Warbird. A firefight breaks out. They're quickly pinned down by the bridge crew. Sela tells them this is pointless, they're just delaying the inevitable. Jurati and Picard try to reason with Sela, but to no avail. Jurati gets to a console and beams herself away. Sela orders someone to figure out where she went. Jurati materializes back on board La Sirena. She takes the controls and crashes the ship into the Thalaron generator, destroying it and heavily damaging the Warbird. As the explosion jostles the ship, the firefight breaks back out. Sela gets to the helm as Picard & co neutralize the remaining bridge crew. Picard tries to get to Sela, but she turns and points her disruptor at him, getting into a standoff. She says she'd rather see Romulus destroyed than join the Federation, pushes a button on the console, then disintegrates herself with her disruptor.
They go to the console and discover she's set the ship on a collision course for the Romulan Senate building, and locked out the controls. Laris thinks she could override it, but not in time. The best she can do is to rig up the maneuvering thrusters on manual override, but they won't be able to avoid the planet entirely, they'll have to try to crash in the ocean. And someone will have to stay behind to operate it. Picard insists it will be him, but Soji protests, as an android she'd be more likely to survive. Picard tells her that her father sacrificed himself to save him, and now it's his (Picard's) turn to repay the favor. Laris sets off the alarm to abandon ship, they say their goodbyes, and everyone but Picard gets in the escape pod. Picard sits in the captain's chair and operates the thrusters. The ship reenters, and heads toward the capitol. He manages to pull up just enough to miss it, and the ship careens off, out to sea. Finally the nose catches the water and the ship lurches forward, into the ocean. Water busts through the forward windows, flooding the bridge. The chaos fades to white, then Picard finds himself in the white void. And Q is there, he asks, "did you really think you'd get off that easily?"
STAR TREK: PICARD had the right elements, but it seemed as if the producers didn't know what the series is supposed to be about. It's like they were resetting the series with each season. Anyway, for my contribution for this topic to this thread, here are my top ten suggestions for a revised PIC series.
1. S1 of PIC would pick up exactly 25 years from TNG's "All Good Things..." Picard would be retired on his vineyard, assisted by his Romulan friends Laris and her HUSBAND (I forget his name), now a married couple. Picard doesn't do romance, after his last attempt with Dr. Crusher failed.
2. Keep the series PG. Yes, you can tackle tough subjects, but, at the end of the day, STAR TREK should be "family friendly".
3. As much as I like Patrick Stewart, he's a terrible producer. He can be pushed to do a scene well, as seen in S3, but his age and lack of creativity is not "there". Stick to the acting, with good direction, and he'll be fine.
4. Q should be the "game master" of Picard's missions. It would be like Picard enjoying his retirement on his vineyard, and then Q shows up, letting Picard know that, once again, humanity is at a crossroads. When asked why Q would care about lowly humans, Q would just smirk and say, "What can I say? Your species amuse me." Q would show up throughout the series for a new "mission" each season.
5. Janeway is Picard's primary contact within Starfleet, and is the Admiral that gets upset with Picard's "hubris", mostly because he walked away when his mission to help the Romulans flee their dying world failed, leaving everyone else to pick up the pieces in the aftermath.
6. In my first season treatment, there would be no Borg. Instead, the plot for S1 would revolve around the Burning of Mars Incident, an incident that took place after the Horbus Star Disaster, in which Synths ran amuck and destroyed Utopia Planetia. My version of things would be that the Romulan Tal Shiar caused the disaster from a tactical perspective. They had infiltrated Starfleet long enough to enact their plan, in the hopes of keeping the Federation in check while the Romulans go through a recovery phase post-Horbus Star Disaster. Sela is the big bad for S1, with the brother and sister being her field agents (no incest!).
7. Raffi is assigned by Janeway to be her official contact to Picard, as Picard gathers his team of non-Starfleet personnel, starting with Captain Rios.
8. Maddox still gets killed by Jirati, who was brain washed by the Tal Shiar. Maddox had been working on a project to bring back Data, resulting in a colony of synths. Data would finally return.
9. Ricker and Troi would be the only other TNG cast to appear in S1. Riker would still have his "Tactical Response Fleet", to deal with the Romulans, as "Fleet Captain".
10. There would be an end of credit scene at the end of each season, that will give hints as to what will happen in the next season.
And there you go.
1. S1 of PIC would pick up exactly 25 years from TNG's "All Good Things..." Picard would be retired on his vineyard, assisted by his Romulan friends Laris and her HUSBAND (I forget his name), now a married couple. Picard doesn't do romance, after his last attempt with Dr. Crusher failed.
2. Keep the series PG. Yes, you can tackle tough subjects, but, at the end of the day, STAR TREK should be "family friendly".
3. As much as I like Patrick Stewart, he's a terrible producer. He can be pushed to do a scene well, as seen in S3, but his age and lack of creativity is not "there". Stick to the acting, with good direction, and he'll be fine.
4. Q should be the "game master" of Picard's missions. It would be like Picard enjoying his retirement on his vineyard, and then Q shows up, letting Picard know that, once again, humanity is at a crossroads. When asked why Q would care about lowly humans, Q would just smirk and say, "What can I say? Your species amuse me." Q would show up throughout the series for a new "mission" each season.
5. Janeway is Picard's primary contact within Starfleet, and is the Admiral that gets upset with Picard's "hubris", mostly because he walked away when his mission to help the Romulans flee their dying world failed, leaving everyone else to pick up the pieces in the aftermath.
6. In my first season treatment, there would be no Borg. Instead, the plot for S1 would revolve around the Burning of Mars Incident, an incident that took place after the Horbus Star Disaster, in which Synths ran amuck and destroyed Utopia Planetia. My version of things would be that the Romulan Tal Shiar caused the disaster from a tactical perspective. They had infiltrated Starfleet long enough to enact their plan, in the hopes of keeping the Federation in check while the Romulans go through a recovery phase post-Horbus Star Disaster. Sela is the big bad for S1, with the brother and sister being her field agents (no incest!).
7. Raffi is assigned by Janeway to be her official contact to Picard, as Picard gathers his team of non-Starfleet personnel, starting with Captain Rios.
8. Maddox still gets killed by Jirati, who was brain washed by the Tal Shiar. Maddox had been working on a project to bring back Data, resulting in a colony of synths. Data would finally return.
9. Ricker and Troi would be the only other TNG cast to appear in S1. Riker would still have his "Tactical Response Fleet", to deal with the Romulans, as "Fleet Captain".
10. There would be an end of credit scene at the end of each season, that will give hints as to what will happen in the next season.
And there you go.
If ST: Picard was my baby from the beginning, something like the third season would've been the first season. But working with what was done, if I had been hired to take over in Season 1, here's some of what I would've done:
Season 1
-Got rid of the synth storyline. If I couldn't get rid of it, then I would not make it the main storyline.
-Played up the bias against the xBs more.
-Mentioned what was going on with the Klingons, Cardassians, and other major players. Also mentioned the Remans.
-Made Picard an ex-ambassador, not an admiral. I always liked that idea of him being a diplomat in "All Good Things" and also the Countdown comic. It also would've meshed nicely with Kirk advising Picard to never let them promote you.
-I would have Shelby or Jellico in the place of Clancy.
-I'm fine with Raffi, but no calling him "JL". I also wouldn't have made Raffi as messy as they did. Her being conspiratorial and paranoid was enough, and I didn't need her to be a drug addict.
-Picard's crew would also include Laris and Zhaban. It made no sense for them to stay on the vineyard.
-La Sirena would've been the old-school Romulan Bird-of-Prey.
-I wouldn't have killed off Hugh.
-Made the mid-2380s uniforms the main uniforms for the 2390s. I thought those were nice designs that got short shrift.
-I'm toying with the idea of the first season of Picard really killing off the character, and the next season is about people giving his legacy meaning.
-I would also make sure to name every new alien species created and the class of every new starship designed in some official way. I also would've made sure to bring back the TNG Romulan warbirds and the Nemesis warbirds. I loved both designs.
Season 2
-If I couldn't get rid of the synth storyline, or Synth-Picard, then the second season would be more about Picard adjusting to life as a synth and the galaxy also grappling with their synth/artificial life biases.
-Perhaps the overarching villain of the season and the series would be the "Alterity" (the name Michael Chabon) gave to those space tentacles. Perhaps the Borg even were tied to them.
-A lot of the season would take place aboard the new Stargazer. Wesley, Guinan, and Q could've been helping against the Alterity.
-No time travel and no Picard childhood trauma.
Season 3
-I would've kept Stargazer the hero ship. But Shaw is in command now, after Riker and Rios, and he inherits Seven as first officer due to what transpired in Season 2.
-I would've peppered more TNG characters throughout Picard's run, so it wouldn't have been as much of a big reunion in season three but have no problem with a big reunion to deal with a major challenge. (By the third season, I hoped to have had the O'Briens, Nurse Ogawa, Alexander, Barclay, Gomez, Jellico, Shelby, Tom Riker also back or mentioned).
-I would have the Enterprise-F in this season, with the Andorian captain from the games. I'm fine with making Seven captain of the Enterprise-F by the end of the season, though Raffi would not be her first officer.
-I would use the "Conspiracy" parasites.
-Have no problem with Jack Jr. though he wouldn't be a wunderkind. I also would've made some space so he could meet Wesley and have Beverly, Picard, Wesley, and him in a scene together. I would keep Jack Jr. out of Starfleet. I would have him and Raffi working with the Mariposas instead.
Season 1
-Got rid of the synth storyline. If I couldn't get rid of it, then I would not make it the main storyline.
-Played up the bias against the xBs more.
-Mentioned what was going on with the Klingons, Cardassians, and other major players. Also mentioned the Remans.
-Made Picard an ex-ambassador, not an admiral. I always liked that idea of him being a diplomat in "All Good Things" and also the Countdown comic. It also would've meshed nicely with Kirk advising Picard to never let them promote you.
-I would have Shelby or Jellico in the place of Clancy.
-I'm fine with Raffi, but no calling him "JL". I also wouldn't have made Raffi as messy as they did. Her being conspiratorial and paranoid was enough, and I didn't need her to be a drug addict.
-Picard's crew would also include Laris and Zhaban. It made no sense for them to stay on the vineyard.
-La Sirena would've been the old-school Romulan Bird-of-Prey.
-I wouldn't have killed off Hugh.
-Made the mid-2380s uniforms the main uniforms for the 2390s. I thought those were nice designs that got short shrift.
-I'm toying with the idea of the first season of Picard really killing off the character, and the next season is about people giving his legacy meaning.
-I would also make sure to name every new alien species created and the class of every new starship designed in some official way. I also would've made sure to bring back the TNG Romulan warbirds and the Nemesis warbirds. I loved both designs.
Season 2
-If I couldn't get rid of the synth storyline, or Synth-Picard, then the second season would be more about Picard adjusting to life as a synth and the galaxy also grappling with their synth/artificial life biases.
-Perhaps the overarching villain of the season and the series would be the "Alterity" (the name Michael Chabon) gave to those space tentacles. Perhaps the Borg even were tied to them.
-A lot of the season would take place aboard the new Stargazer. Wesley, Guinan, and Q could've been helping against the Alterity.
-No time travel and no Picard childhood trauma.
Season 3
-I would've kept Stargazer the hero ship. But Shaw is in command now, after Riker and Rios, and he inherits Seven as first officer due to what transpired in Season 2.
-I would've peppered more TNG characters throughout Picard's run, so it wouldn't have been as much of a big reunion in season three but have no problem with a big reunion to deal with a major challenge. (By the third season, I hoped to have had the O'Briens, Nurse Ogawa, Alexander, Barclay, Gomez, Jellico, Shelby, Tom Riker also back or mentioned).
-I would have the Enterprise-F in this season, with the Andorian captain from the games. I'm fine with making Seven captain of the Enterprise-F by the end of the season, though Raffi would not be her first officer.
-I would use the "Conspiracy" parasites.
-Have no problem with Jack Jr. though he wouldn't be a wunderkind. I also would've made some space so he could meet Wesley and have Beverly, Picard, Wesley, and him in a scene together. I would keep Jack Jr. out of Starfleet. I would have him and Raffi working with the Mariposas instead.
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Just time them to the machine planet that modified Voyager 7.
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