Janeway's Rules

[Oddish]

After rewatching an NCIS episode where Gibbs's Rules get repeatedly quoted, I have renewed interest in assembling a list of Janeway's Rules, something I did a year or two back but forgot to finish. Here's the beginning of it... more will come, and I will take suggestions.

Note that Rule X is simply the last rule, a bookend to the first. It will be assigned a number when the list is complete... if it ever is.

1. Coffee, black. Lots of it.
2. Go down with the ship.
3. Keep your shirt tucked in.
4. Ma'am is acceptable in a crunch, but "captain" is preferable.
5. Respect new life... unless it's a new lifeform the transporter unintentionally created.
6. Never screw over your crew...
7. ...but if you find some poor dopey ensign who idolizes you, feel free to wreck his career by not promoting him.
8. Don't be afraid to delete the wife.
9. The temporal prime directive is really just a strongly worded suggestion.
10. NEVER leave a member of your crew behind. Not even that ensign you screwed over.
11. The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... unless you can make fear afraid of you.
12. Thirty-eight torpedoes is whatever you say it is.
13. What happens on the holodeck stays on the holodeck.
14. Believe in second chances...
15. ...but take precautions, not everyone deserves them.
16. Bald heads worked for Picard and Sisko, but the Bun of Steel rules all.
17. Avoid sickbay unless absolutely necessary.
18. Leave sickbay as quickly as possible.
19. If the EMH complains because you're avoiding/leaving sickbay, just ignore him.
20. If the EMH tries to relieve you because you're avoiding/leaving sickbay, see Rule #19.
21. If a flesh and blood doctor tries to relieve you because you're avoiding/leaving Sickbay, see Rule #19.
22. Never underestimate the power of the Janeway Death Glare.
23. When the captain removes her uniform top and grabs a phaser rifle and a knife, you'd better run.
24. Logic can be used to justify anything. That's its power, and its flaw. (awesome line)
25. Every now and then, surprise people with a hidden talent (playing pool, dancing ballet, and gutting Borg with a bat'leth all apply).
26. Never date a subordinate.
27. Periodically remind the crew that you don't need a second person to set the autodestruct.
28. Never be unreachable, even while getting a massage.
29. Don't take crap from anybody... not even obnoxious near-omnipotent beings.
30. Don't break up the family (derived from "always work as a team")
31. Sometimes you're wrong. Unless the writers feel like you have to be infallible because you're Captain Frickin' Janeway, in which case you'll only be wrong when you think you're wrong.

X. Did we mention coffee?

 

[Robert Bruce Scott]

My wife's favorite line in all of Star Trekdom: "There's coffee in that nebula..."

 

[Oddish]

My wife's favorite line in all of Star Trekdom: "There's coffee in that nebula..."

I have the T-shirt.

 

[Bynar0110]

Do these rules apply in fanfics set earlier in Janeway career before VOY? Just asking because I'm thinking about writing a Janeway fanfic set in the late 2350s?

 

[Robert Bruce Scott]

Do these rules apply in fanfics set earlier in Janeway career before VOY? Just asking because I'm thinking about writing a Janeway fanfic set in the late 2350s?

You could write about her learning or developing one of those rules. Thanks!! rbs

 

[Oddish]

Do these rules apply in fanfics set earlier in Janeway career before VOY? Just asking because I'm thinking about writing a Janeway fanfic set in the late 2350s?

I expect some of them would. Others might have developed as a result of her Delta Quadrant adventures.

 

[Bynar0110]

I expect some of them would. Others might have developed as a result of her Delta Quadrant adventures.

Where does rule 26 get its origins from?

Should there be rule don't steal the captain coffee if you want to live?

President FDR would like rule 11.

 

[Oddish]

Should there be rule don't steal the captain coffee if you want to live

I had that one for awhile, but then decided that it was superfluous, what with the first and last rules both being about coffee.

 

[Bynar0110]

Picard's number one rule would be follow the Prime Detective.
Kirk would change the list when it suits his interest or not have a list.
Sisko Number one would be don't touch his baseball.
Archer Number One would be don't feed porthos cheese

 

[Oddish]

Kirk would change the list when it suits his interest or not have a list.

Kirk's first rule would be, "if you don't like the way a civilization runs, plunge it into chaos, then warp out of the system."

 

[Oddish]

32. One voice can be stronger than a thousand.
33. Fear exists only to be conquered.
34. When you're a Starfleet officer, weird is often part of the job.
35. When we turn our backs on our principles, that is when we cease to be human.
36. The day may come when you have to accept the inevitable... but not today.
37. With a few exceptions, the Borg are better in pieces.
38. Stand up to bullies.
39. When going into space, leave your dog at home.
40. If you can handle being turned into a salamander, you can handle anything.
41. When you make a mess, make something good come from it.
42. You can’t just walk away from your responsibilities just because you made a mistake.
43. It's never a good thing when everyone agrees with you.
44. Always be curious.
45. Reach your full potential, and help your subordinates do the same.
46. When going through dark times, sometimes the worst thing you can do is think too much.

 

[Bynar0110]

By posting these rules you helped me get better pulse on my OC Captain of the Edison Grace McCallister because in someways she's like Janeway. She would hate rule 39 however.

 

[Bynar0110]

32. One voice can be stronger than a thousand.
33. Fear exists only to be conquered.
34. When you're a Starfleet officer, weird is often part of the job.
35. When we turn our backs on our principles, that is when we cease to be human.
36. The day may come when you have to accept the inevitable... but not today.
37. With a few exceptions, the Borg are better in pieces.
38. Stand up to bullies.
39. When going into space, leave your dog at home.
40. If you can handle being turned into a salamander, you can handle anything.
41. When you make a mess, make something good come from it.
42. You can’t just walk away from your responsibilities just because you made a mistake.
43. It's never a good thing when everyone agrees with you.
44. Always be curious.
45. Reach your full potential, and help your subordinates do the same.
46. When going through dark times, sometimes the worst thing you can do is think too much.

Archer would hate rule 39.

 

[Oddish]

Archer would hate rule 39.

Janeway probably read Archer's bio, including Porthos's Kretassian "misadventure". Remember, ENT was 200y before VOY.

Rule 47: The past is the future. The future is the past. It can give you quite the headache.

 

[Continuous Cosmos]

Janeway FTW!!