OH, What a Night
"It was late December back in stardate 'sixty three. Oh what a night."
The Enterprise was visiting Deep Space Station K7. Most of the crew was allowed shore leave while the captain was meeting Undersecretary Baris about some sort of guard duty. I could tell the captain was pissed. Oh well, I had just failed at another pass at that tall, exotic first officer and was looking for a little solace in the company of a friend who could understand what trying to melt that stone heart was like.
"What a very special time for me. As I remember, I didn't even know his name," Nurse Chapel, again intoned, lifting her second pink Z to her lips and draining the last swallow.
I smiled indulgently at Christine. At the other end of the bar were several officers. 'Maybe,' I mused, 'I'll see what Scotsmen don't wear under their kilts.'
I was off the ship with Chekov yesterday. I'd returned to the ship with a tribble. Cutest thing I'd ever seen. That nice trader had given it to me. Ever since then, I didn't know what it was, but I'd felt this growing need to connect with someone. Doctor McCoy was studying the tribble, and said over half their metabolism was dedicated to reproduction. I just kept thinking about that.
Christine was telling me about a wild time she'd had back on Omicron Ceti III. I didn't want to hear it. I had embarrassed myself on Omicron Ceti III when I'd sabotaged communications. I was lucky the captain didn't report it. Now there was a guy I wish I could "connect" with someday. Just a kiss. Wouldn't that be something? The captain kissing me.
Christine thought I was smiling at her story, so she kept telling it. "as I recall it ended much too soon. Oh what a night, hypnotizing, mesmerizing me." Christine sighed in reminiscence. "He was everything I'd dreamed he'd be."
I finally realized what Christine was saying. "Spock?" I asked Christine to clarify.
Christine shook her head vigorously. "No. Believe me, I've tried, even when he wasn't under a spell. That Vulcan is… is… well, rock hard isn't the word for it, that's for sure. Whatever a Vulcan's heart is made of, it's a lot harder than that."
I rolled my eyes. Sometimes my friend could be so innocent. "Oh, his heart," I said.
There were boisterous words traversing the distance from the other side of the bar. Christine and I turned to look. The human bartender at that end was quickly pulling all the glassware and tribbles off the counter top. He must have been in the middle of a deal with that trader. What was his name? Jones, Cyrano Jones. It was like the bartender knew something was about to happen.
Christine leaned in and asked, "Ever thought about it?" She nodded her head towards the far end of the bar.
"The chief engineer?" I asked. Because… well that's what I was doing just a moment ago, thinking about Chief Engineer Montgomery Scott. What was wrong with me? I was not the kind of girl to moon over guys like that. Chekov, Scott, the captain?
A long purplish tentacle reached over the table and curled around Christine's emptied wine glass.
"Thank you Bluinn," commented Nurse Chapel to the Octilean bartender who tended the bar at our end of the room. A second tentacle put a full glass back down in front of Christine.
Christine smirked at me. "Ha, you're a riot. No, a Klingon. I heard they were animals."
I stared at my friend. I'd never heard Christine talk like that before.
"Christine! What are you saying?"
Christine looked embarrassed. "I'm not trying to be chauvinistic. But, Dana said they were aggressive, rude, belched and snorted freely in company. No manners at all. Animals.
That is when I watched Lieutenant Commander Scott stand up.
What a man. But oh, I got a funny feeling.
Scotty pulled back and punched the Klingon who had been standing and laughing behind him a moment before.
The whole end of the room exploded into a brawl. Chekov jumped in, along with Ensign Freeman.
Damn it! This was the end of our evening, for sure. It ended much too soon.
When the guards came in behind the bartender, I stopped Christine from rushing over to tend to the minor injuries sustained by our fellow crew members. They got what they deserved. I needed company.
I called, "Bluinn, another gin and tonic please. And, Christine would like another Zin."
I wasn't going to rush back to the ship just because some little boys were kicking sand up in the playground.
That trader, Jones came over after everyone else cleared out.
"Good evening my dear. How's your little friend? Perhapse it would like a companion. Tribbles can get very lonely, you know." He looked over at Christine. "Maybe you want a little fellow of your own?"
He pulled another furry cutie pie from one of his pockets.
Christine shook her head. "No. They are adorable, but my boss suggested we should wait until he knows more about them."
I took another sip of my fresh drink as Cyrano placed the little furball enticingly on the table. I felt a rush like a rolling ball of thunder, spinning my head around and taking my body under. I needed…
Well, I wasn't going to buy a tribble. THAT wasn't what I needed. I smiled my best smile at Cyrano Jones and shook my head no. "Tickles has already reproduced. I don't think I should get another tribble. But if you want to… um… sit and have a drink?"
What the heck? This was not me. Christine was giving me the harry eyeball too.
"Well thank you, my sweets. I don't mind if I do. You are buying, right?"
That's when a tentacle reached out and curled gently around Mr. Jones' shoulders.
"I watched you over there at the other bar. You've had more than your share," spoke Bluinn from where he, she, whatever, was still behind the bar. "Let the ladies be, and take those creatures with you."
I felt a little better after Jones picked up his tribble and stalked indignantly out of the bar.
"You feeling okay, Lieutenant?" Bluinn inquired.
I looked around at the squid-like Octilean. "Yeah, I guess. Thank you Bluinn."
The Octilean said, "We're closing up for the night. Can I walk you two back to the transporter? Some of those Klingons might still be lurking around."
I guess Christine and I had to call it for the night. "Yeah sure. I guess I should get back to the ship," I said
Christine said, as we waited for Buinn to lock up, "You know, I don't really feel like going right back to the ship."
I reached a hand out and one of Bluinn's tentacle slid into it. A little slimy, but maybe…?
Another tentacle slid around Christine's waist.
The next morning Christine and I beamed aboard and I walked with Christine to Sickbay. My whole body was sore, front and back, head to…yeah. My mind was spinning. Oh, what a night.
Christine commented, "You know I don't think I'm ever going to be the same."
"Doctor!" Christine called out as we entered Sickbay.
Doctor McCoy was there. He looked up from a cage that held a dozen tribbles and said, "Uhura, I've been studying your tribble, well tribbles, a little more... You know how their metabolism is geared towards reproduction? Well, I think they actually emit a fairly powerful pheromone that effects…"
I threw up.
Christine cried. "Nyota. What is wrong?"
Before I could answer, the doctor had me stretched out on a bed and was scanning my vitals.
"She's pregnant," Bones announced. "Uhura, you have morning sickness."
Christine said, "I'll prepare two doses of Morning After."
McCoy turns to Christine, "Only one is neces…"
Christine threw up on her boss's shoes.
Oh what a night
Do-do do-do, do-Do-DOO. Oh what a night.
-Will the Serious
https://www.trekbbs.com/threads/march-april-challenge-the-morning-after.313477/
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