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Random Thoughts...or...What's on Your Mind?

I dreamed I was riding in a car with my uncle Brian, back in my hometown in PA. I said, "This shit's going to kill you," and he responded, "Not quickly enough."

Brian is 9 years older than I, my dad's baby brother, and my de facto big brother. He introduced me to Monty Python, Cheech & Chong, and Saturday Night Live. He's also an alcoholic with several strange phobias and various mental illnesses. He's why I've never been a heavy drinker.

He was sober for a long time. But recently, wagons were fallen off of, he was in and out of the psych ward, he sent gift cards to women he met on the Internet, and he got scammed into giving access to his bank account.

He's burned all his bridges. Neither my aunt (his sister) nor his grown son will take him in. From what my dad told me, Brian is homeless, maybe living in his car. And it's November in SW PA.

I actually looked at the obits in my hometown newspaper today. I'm sure that's the next thing I'll hear about him. Even if I wanted to, I can't help him. And I've already had one friend drink himself to death this year.

Beyond the sadness, there's fear. Mental illnesses seem to run in both sides of my family, and I have some. Thank God for medication! Dementia took my mom's mother and sister, and that's not treatable like my depression and anxiety, so it scares the hell out of me. I'm glad I never wanted a kid - what a crappy genetic legacy.

Anyway, "random thoughts" indeed. :shrug:
 
^ I hear ya, @Commander Troi . My Dad was a lifelong alcoholic, my oldest sister was an alcoholic and drug addict and then her son, my beloved nephew died during an accident (at least I like to think it was) while high on something. I took care of him for just a few years but after a few years back with his biological parents....well, he was lost forever.

Only my sister was able to sober up, after more than 25 years. My Dad died at 82 from a host of health problems, most of the brought on or aggravated by his years of drinking.

I don't drink at all, never used drugs, never even smoked...but I've had more than my fair share of cleaning up after people who did.

You can't help them. They're going to do what they're going to do. You can try to steer them one way or another but, at the end of the day, you can't control them.

I'm not totally on board with it always being genetic. My oldest sister is adopted but turned out just like my dad--a narcissistic user, controlling and unbalanced. She was raised to be like that, to be just like him. Sometimes the mental issues are formed from the environment.

Just my two cents.
 
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It might not be just genetic, although both of my dad's grandfathers were alcoholics too. I know things aren't nature or nurture - it's both. My grandmother spoiled Brian and let him get away with never taking responsibility. I know that's part of his problems.

It could also be generations of pollutants there from steel mills and coal mines. There's no way to know.

Thanks for reading & sharing.
 
Yikes.
I've never had a drink or done drugs, for both medical and person reasons. I only have one functioning kidney, so I don't want to chance of damaging it, and alcaholism runs in my family, so I don't want to take the chance of getting hooked on any of that kind of stuff.
 
Yikes.
I've never had a drink or done drugs, for both medical and person reasons. I only have one functioning kidney, so I don't want to chance of damaging it, and alcaholism runs in my family, so I don't want to take the chance of getting hooked on any of that kind of stuff.
Understandable!

I thought about this more at the gym & in the shower after, and realized I'm not as afraid as I was a few months ago (pre-anxiety meds). I also realized I've been avoiding thinking about my uncle and the dream made me face my feelings. I love him and I'm sad. That's it.

Thanks. I love you folks.
 
Either people out here are a lot more cold tolerant or they're nuts. The last couple weeks have been down to the low 50s F, and I'm freezing in a shirt, pants, jacket, hat and gloves, and yet I'm seeing people in T-Shirts and shorts. A couple weeks ago while I was out on my bike ride, I saw some girl out riding, wearing a spaghetti strap tank top, and I was wearing a long sleeve shirt with a T-shirt over it and I was still cold. Pardon me for being crude, but all I could think when I saw her was, how the hell is she not freezing her tits off?
 
Either people out here are a lot more cold tolerant or they're nuts. The last couple weeks have been down to the low 50s F, and I'm freezing in a shirt, pants, jacket, hat and gloves, and yet I'm seeing people in T-Shirts and shorts. A couple weeks ago while I was out on my bike ride, I saw some girl out riding, wearing a spaghetti strap tank top, and I was wearing a long sleeve shirt with a T-shirt over it and I was still cold. Pardon me for being crude, but all I could think when I saw her was, how the hell is she not freezing her tits off?
Some of them are snowbirds (may they GET THE HELL OFF MY ROADS!) or moved here recently. The rest... on the way home from Frys, just now, a skinny chick walked past us wearing a spaghetti strap one-piece camisole-and-panty thing with no pants. I honestly have no idea if she's a hooker or just nuts. :shrug:
 
My order for cat treats arrived today. Two packets of the same thing. Only one packet had a hole in the bottom and was missing a majority of the content. I contact customer service over online chat and explain this, and the employee wants to replace both packets, so I have to explain it all over again. I say one is fine, the other has a hole in it. So the employee will be replacing one packet instead. Only when the employee sets the replacement order up, it's for two packets! So I just gave up and accepted it.
 
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Last night right before dinner my husband and I heard a strange gushing water sound coming from the kitchen. We identified the source of the water as the fridge, and pulled it out from the wall. Turns out it was the hose going to the ice maker. What a perfect thing to happen right before Thanksgiving.

But I appreciate that it could have been a lot worse. It could have happened while we were in bed or when we weren't home! As it was we just turned the water to the ice maker off and cleaned up a pretty minimal amount of water from the floor.
 
Sitting in the dealership, waiting for my car to get fixed. So bored.

At least they have comfy seats and sell snacks.

Been here almost two hours. Played solitaire, read some of Shakespeare's sonnets, perused Amazon, texted hubby, had some pretzels, had some water.... so bored.
 
There are sure a lot of pro-life evangelicals who love gun violence shouting from the rooftops today.
They only care about "life" before it's born. After then, fuck 'em. :shrug:

5B4xJ6D.jpg
 
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