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Al Calavicci is to blame for Captain Archer's incompetence

Which is the most hilarious thing to come out of Archer's mouth?

  • "I'm doing the breast I can"

    Votes: 6 27.3%
  • "A directive...that is prime"

    Votes: 11 50.0%
  • "If anything happens to Porthos, I'll be the one watering their Alvera trees!"

    Votes: 4 18.2%
  • Other (list below)

    Votes: 1 4.5%

  • Total voters
    22

WarpTenLizard

Fleet Captain
Fleet Captain
EDIT: I'm late, but R.I.P. Dean Stockwell. (I posted this thread a couple months or so before his passing.)

It's an old fan theory, that the Johnathan Archer seen onscreen is really just Sam Beckett in another Leap, thus explaining why he doesn't always act very captain-like (especially in the first two seasons). But allow me to take this one step further, and point out a major contributing factor to Dr. Beckett's failure to properly fill the legendary Johnathan Archer's shoes.

Sam almost always needs major advice and help, on every Leap, from his trusty hologram friend Al. And Q knows, a navy admiral like Al would be damn helpful for Sam, in guiding him on how to act as captain of the very first Enterprise. And indeed, in Archer's better moments, we can presume that Al was there, giving him good tips on how to be authoritative. But there seem to be so, so many times when Al just wasn't there, when Sam needed his guidance the most! Where was he? What could possibly keep Al from Sam, when his friend needs him desperately?

The Decontamination Chamber, that's what.

It stated like any other Leap. But as soon as Al discovered that Decontamination Chamber, the charming perv was a lost cause. Poor Sam Beckett flounders for years, trying to play a part he has no idea how to play, while his navy admiral guide floats in the Decon Chamber, mesmerized.

On the rare occasion that Sam can get Al out of the Decon Chamber, the poor perverted hologram is still distracted if T'Pol is in the room.

AL: "Uh...just tell her you're uh...doing the breast you can..."

SAM: "I'm doing the breast I--" Stops and glares at Al, who no one else can see. "--the BEST that I can."​

T'Pol's more practical outfits in the latter seasons may corollate with Al's ability to be a more attentive guide to Sam. (Note: this is in no way blaming T'Pol for her fashion choices, Al is responsible for his own lustfulness. This is merely an explanation, not an excuse.)

But even when everything is going right as usual, typical miscommunication still causes some mishaps.

AL: "Go on, tell him!"

SAM: "...um, and someday, there will be a Directive..."

AL: "A Prime Directive!"

SAM: "...that is Prime..."

AL: (Facepalms)
Sometimes, Sam just takes Al too literally.
AL: "....and that if anything happens to the dog, you'll be the one watering their sacred trees!"
SAM: "If anything happens to Porthos...!"
AL: "Wha--NO! Sam, I was joking!...Oh boy..."​
And there you have it, an explanation for every outrageous thing Captain Johnathan Archer has ever said or done.
 
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So then, the evil Leapers have something to do with the Temporal Cold War and Future Guy, right?

I always have assumed that Enterprise is the product of a contaminated post First Contact timeline, as evidenced by the Borg Drone, and the machinations of Future Guy. Sam leapt into his descendant (thus being able to leap outside of his own lifetime) in order to ensure the formation of the Federation during the events of the movie. He is the reason Picard returns to a relatively unchanged timeline. This is the trigger that makes it all work. Amazing. ;)

Al would love the holodeck. I bet it could make him tangible. If Sam ever leaps farther into the future, can you picture Al with a mobile emitter...... :D
 
New comment. One of them would need to remark about the holodeck - so this is what ends up happening with the technology we developed for the imaging chamber. Gooshie would be proud.

I wonder what happened to ziggy? Could it be the basis for daystrom's research?
 
WarpTenLizard, congratulations, you win the Enterprise forum this week! It is the most sublimely perfect, hilarious, and sensible take on the "What the hell is Archer doing?!" moments that I have ever read, ever ever amen.
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This forces a reassessment of the entire series. The next rewatch...filling in the picture of Al whispering in Sam's ear -- or not, because he's ogling someone in Decon...it's just too rich.

PLUS I already wanted a sequel to the QL ending. Now I know Sam never made it home because he's trapped in the ENT-verse, unable to make everything right that once went wrong because UPN and that bastard What's His Name head of CBS who hated Enterprise and bulldozed the sets, and everyone else who put a foot out for Enterprise to trip over, just keeps piling up, keeping Ziggy working nonstop!

Now I desperately need an hour of Quantum Enterprise (or would that be Enterprise Leap?) to actually see all this going on. And it would end with making right the most wrongest thing: Trip's stupid, pointless, moronic bad death. THAT's what gets Sam home.

Thank you, thankyouthankyou
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At the risk of taking it too seriously, Sam can only Leap within his own lifetime. So no 22nd Century for him.
 
I just heard there's talk of a new Quantam Leap series rumor In a Interview I read with Scott Bakula the other day on some Star Trek website.
 
At some point, the Admiral certainly would get fed up with being unable to touch any of the chicks in go-go boots or big hair or whatnot who swarm around the guys possessed by Sam, and would step into Ziggy's machine himself. That adventure is simply seen from the viewpoint of Al: in objective reality, Grat of course looked completely different, as we would have found had there been any mirrors around.

Timo Saloniemi
 
Imagine the quantum leap episode going on during Cold Front, and Sam and Al's discussions about Daniels....

Especially since someone else just set right what once went wrong, and it wasn't Archer this time.
 
And thus jumping into the future should be a breeze, Sam's or Al's "direct lineage" possibly branching out to cover half of mankind.

Timo Saloniemi
 
Quantum Leap is, of course, a show devoted to fixing time travel mistakes (usually of the character's own making) much like Enterprise in a way. Maybe Daniels' infatuation with Archer isn't because of his role as the Federation's Founding father or something, but because he knows Archer is just Sam Beckett, inventor of a form of time travel, trapped with perhaps a more permanent amnesia than usual.

Or maybe Future Guy is actually Al just trying to help fix the Leap situation from a different angle and century.
 
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