Post a Random Fact About Yourself

[Discofan]

I get along better with people of the lower classes than with the ones that have a little power, not the ones at the top mind you but the ones in between. More often than not I can't stand these people and even when I say or do nothing, they somehow sense it and the result is often loathe at first sight.

 

[Gryffindorian]

I am not now, nor have I ever been, sexually active. The irony is that I have been attracted to both sexes. What scares me is not the notion of dying a virgin someday, but the prospect of becoming a reckless promiscuous man-slut who has no regard for his own personal safety and wellness.

ETA: I don't think PreP is for me, nor do I see myself as a bottom or a top in a same sex partnership.

 

[rhubarbodendron]

some people are asexual. You might be one of them. No need to be scared, though. In my experience, a healthy dose of common sense works as a safeguard in all situations life and relationships have to offer Just do what feels right - it usually is.

 

[Sibyl]

Ah, what the hell. I've hinted but I guess this is an appropriate time to just come out and say it. I've been "out" in TNZ for a while now.

I'm transgender. My "housemate" is actually my soon(?)-to-be ex-husband.

One of the primary reasons he's going to be my ex is that we had a sexless marriage due to my dysphoria.

I used to say that I was functionally asexual, but I've come to realize that asexuality is far different than simply not being sexually active or being repulsed by my own body. In reality, I'm pansexual and absolutely have urges, so, in other words, just the opposite of asexual.

If anyone decides that I'm now their enemy or they're now mine, that's your problem, not mine. Get over it. We exist. If we've had pleasant conversations in the past, nothing has changed other than possibly your attitude.

 

[Gryffindorian]

some people are asexual. You might be one of them. No need to be scared, though. In my experience, a healthy dose of common sense works as a safeguard in all situations life and relationships have to offer Just do what feels right - it usually is.

@rhubarbodendron, thank you as always for your thoughtfulness and wisdom. The thought had occurred to me. Could I be an asexual bisexual, if there is such a thing? The very few relationships I had earlier were with women, back when I had romanticized notions about love. But even at a younger age, long before I came to terms with my own sexuality, I always found other guys attractive. It's more like a matter of preference for me, and celibacy has become a way of life. I can live with that for now. Whether it's a lifetime choice, time will tell.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Ah, what the hell. I've hinted but I guess this is an appropriate time to just come out and say it. I've been "out" in TNZ for a while now.

I'm transgender. My "housemate" is actually my soon(?)-to-be ex-husband.

One of the primary reasons he's going to be my ex is that we had a sexless marriage due to my dysphoria.

I used to say that I was functionally asexual, but I've come to realize that asexuality is far different than simply not being sexually active or being repulsed by my own body. In reality, I'm pansexual and absolutely have urges, so, in other words, just the opposite of asexual.

If anyone decides that I'm now their enemy or they're now mine, that's your problem, not mine. Get over it. We exist. If we've had pleasant conversations in the past, nothing has changed other than possibly your attitude.

Congratulations and best of luck on your transition. I think the LGBTQ+ community has had and will always have personal and social struggles in our society. Although same sex marriage is now legal in the U.S., transgender and nonbinary folks continue to be targets of harassment and in extreme cases, violence. There's a need for more education on human sexuality, gender identity and other issues.

 

[Sibyl]

Thank you. My transition is essentially complete. There are just a few loose ends that need cleaning.

I believe that asexuality and emotional attractions to a particular person or even gender are not incompatible. I fully believe it's possible to have attractions for someone and even fall in love with them and never see the need or desire to have sex.

However, if you think, kind of like I said, that you are functionally celibate, then maybe the right person simply hasn't come along yet.

Kinda sounds like you may fall into the latter category and that fear keeps you from exploring. Celibacy is your security blanket. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a security blanket unless you feel you are being handicapped by it. If you are resentful of your situation, may I suggest seeing a therapist that specializes in human sexuality?

 

[Gryffindorian]

Oh yes, the very definition of asexuality is the absence of sexual attraction to another, although romantic feelings may still be experienced or exhibited. Believe me, the biological urge is there, but I deal with it in a certain way, like any single or unattached guy would do in my situation.

I have lived a somewhat secluded life as an adult. The majority of my time is spent with family, a few friends, and personal hobbies and interests. As I mentioned in my other thread, I didn't seek out relationships for a lot of reasons, but I was satisfied with the status quo. I am now only starting to open myself up to possibilities. Yet I've never had a relationship with another guy before, and the more I look into the prospect, the more I get intimidated by it. Men who have sex with other men (MSM) have the highest occurrence of HIV and AIDS in the country, no offense to my fellow gay/bi BBSers. It is perhaps something I need to discuss with a counselor or therapist.

 

[Sibyl]

No idea of the actual numbers, but anecdotally, men tend not to want to wear--and therefore don't--condoms. As well, men are more likely to have "relations", as the Bible puts it, with animals.

I'm far from read up on HIV, so I don't its actual origins. I've heard theories.

I think your best bet is to use condoms with whatever partner you're with and, if you're that worried, PreP. Better safe than sorry.

However, HIV is no longer the death sentence it once was. Inconvenient and expensive, yes, but so is diabetes and many other diseases out there (not that I'm honestly comparing their emotional and societal effects).

 

[Gryffindorian]

I feel like I'm stuck. It's not that I'm disgusted; I just don't see myself doing it without putting my health or my life at risk. And being the paranoid person that I am, I keep finding more reasons to be concerned.

PreP is not without risks; it could cause kidney damage. (Side note: I'm diabetic and so kidney failure is one of the many complications I want to avoid.) While condoms may be the safer choice, I don't trust myself enough to use my best judgment all of the time.

Anyway, I don't want to hijack this thread. Thanks for the feedback!

 

[rhubarbodendron]

using a condome is always the safest option.
I looked up those bacteria and that bit of news appears to be somewhat old. It's Campylobacter, a genus of bacteria known for ages to cause mean diarrhoea.

Spoiler since not everyone might be interested in science-babble:

Spoiler

It is rather common in beef and poultry and makes a toxin that is heat-resistant so that even cooking doesn't help. The bacteria themselves can be killed by cooking and frequently spread from these animals to humans. There they move through the intestines into the blood stream and from then on it gets really nasty because they can cause a sepsis throughout the body which can kill you. Therefore, in Germany an infection must be registered with the authorities and the patient will be isolated till the infection is under control.
From the POV of a biologist, the best tactics I can recommend is to always wash your hands thoroughly when preparing beef and poultry, always heat it through and through, use condoms (particularly when bedding a rancher ). Then the worst thing you should get would be a diarhhoea. And please don't use disinfectants: they literally breed resistant bacteria strains which then are difficult to control. Vinegar, soap and in bad cases a 70% alcoholic solution will do the trick. Don't use higher concentrations of alc since there you get survivors who pass on their immunity. 70% has turned out to kill almost every microbe. It's poisonous enough to damage them lethally but not so poisonous that they feel the urge to develop protection mechanisms.

@Sibyl congratulations! It's great that nowadays one can get the correct body if one happened to be born in a wrong one =)

I'm about 90% hetero and 10% bi Mostly not really interested in sex, but it depends on the partner. Usually I am too tired for any activity in bed other than actual sleep (And I'll kill everyone who wakes my by snoring! )

 

[Discofan]

I learned karate because of Bruce lee's movies... In my defense, I was a kid back then...

Well, I am glad I did, anyway.

It's given me a self-assuredness that might have been much harder to acquire otherwise.

 

[Velocity]

I might be boring, but I'm never bored.

 

[Gryffindorian]

To borrow a phrase from actress Emma Watson, I'm self-partnered.

 

[Amaris]

Apparently, when I was a child, all of my drawings were in black. Other kids would choose lots of colors for their drawings, but all of mine were black. Everything. It was the only color I would choose.

 

[Qonundrum]

No idea of the actual numbers, but anecdotally, men tend not to want to wear--and therefore don't--condoms. As well, men are more likely to have "relations", as the Bible puts it, with animals.

I'm far from read up on HIV, so I don't its actual origins. I've heard theories.

I think your best bet is to use condoms with whatever partner you're with and, if you're that worried, PreP. Better safe than sorry.

However, HIV is no longer the death sentence it once was. Inconvenient and expensive, yes, but so is diabetes and many other diseases out there (not that I'm honestly comparing their emotional and societal effects).

A few problems, please let me adumbrate;

"Stealthing" is a new problem in the LGBT community. This is where one "lover" removes the condom then goes back in and finishes. Chances of getting something, especially if the one transmitting it knowingly is transmitting it, is exponentially higher. Unfortunately, some states removed felony status for knowingly transmitting HIV and only since then new HIV cases have skyrocketed. The one getting it is 0% culpable and does deserve legal recourse. Especially with lifelong health issues, and other things - such as:

HIV medications cause nasty side-effects (for many) that spiral or snowball out in size, complexity, and ramification(s). Worse, continuing unsafe sex practices can make those medications ineffective. "Superbug" refers to a drug resistant strain, of which HIV is not the only disease out there increasingly immune to treatments. Also expect PrEP to become less effective over time for the identical reasons. HIV has been known for decades and should be common knowledge by now (if not the 1990s when any Pride Festival public health booth tells all this and more) goes into detail about how rapidly HIV mutates. PrEP is amazing, but there will be a drastic drop in efficacy, in some regions more than others, over time. PrEP also can cause side-effects and, as with most drugs, have interactions with other drugs as well as other things...

Also, I disagree with the comparison of HIV to diabetes and many other diseases out there. Diabetes (type 1 and type 2) are not communicable, and how they develop is absolutely nothing remotely like how one gets HIV. I definitely recommend to not tell anyone who has diabetes (either type) face to face that it's just like HIV in how one gets it. Perhaps equating to malaria or west nile that mosquitoes transmit is closer to the mark, though not a great example either...

(P.S. I'm bi, I don't fit the stereotype and not because I loathe the stereotype, and it's a lot more complex than that but I don't see a need to discuss every nuance of my personal life. Only to adumbrate a handful of societal ramifications, which are by no means definitive or complete.)

To borrow a phrase from actress Emma Watson, I'm self-partnered.

It'd be fun to be a fly on the wall to observe what compels people to become such a state. The quantity of questions that can potentially be answered would be described as "surfeit", I suspect.

 

[Sibyl]

@Cutie McWhiskers, my apologies. I wasn't totally aware of a lot of the side effects of HIV prevention and treatment medications nor how quickly HIV mutates.

I comparison between diabetes and HIV was only on the most superficial level in that both require life-long medical interventions and both have some pretty nasty side-effects but in no way was I trying to imply that they were similar in any other way (transmission, etc.). Again, I'm very sorry that what I wrote came across differently than the way I meant it.

Although I'm part of the "community", my knowledge of general LGBTQIA+ issues is embarrassingly limited.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Diabetes came up because we were discussing the complications of taking PreP (kidney damage). Since I have Type 2 diabetes, one complication that came up was nephropathy, and I had implied that I didn't want to gamble my kidneys away in either case. But there's no correlation between HIV and diabetes.

 

[Sibyl]

Diabetes came up because we were discussing the complications of taking PreP (kidney damage). Since I have Type 2 diabetes, one complication that came up was nephropathy, and I had implied that I didn't want to gamble my kidneys away in either case. But there's no correlation between HIV and diabetes.

Thank you. I didn't read back previous to my last reply. I guess I knew there had to be a reason I'd put them both in my earlier reply as I'd never truly equate the two.

 

[Sibyl]

Apparently, when I was a child, all of my drawings were in black. Other kids would choose lots of colors for their drawings, but all of mine were black. Everything. It was the only color I would choose.

Interesting. Everything I did as a child was colorful and bright and later as I became more and more depressed I fell into the trappings of "Black is the new..." and would only wear black: t-shirts, jeans, shoes, socks, undies, and when I wore one, hats.

I'm only just rediscovering (especially traditionally feminine colors) colors and while I'm nervous about exposing myself like this, I'm having fun at the same time. It's liberating.