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Fanfiction Pet Peeves

What would make you LEAST likely to read a fanfic?

  • Contains a couple I don't "ship"

    Votes: 15 30.0%
  • Deviates from canon

    Votes: 5 10.0%
  • The captain has a teenage son/daughter

    Votes: 14 28.0%
  • Bad spelling/grammar

    Votes: 43 86.0%
  • Focuses on an "OC"

    Votes: 7 14.0%

  • Total voters
    50
I have another Pet Peeve, but not about the authors but rather the reviewers. It's been a while since I read anything on fan-fiction dot net; I quit because of the amount of pure dreck posted. But what made it worse was the number of comments saying "Oh, this is so great! I loved it! I can't wait for more!" Really? Seriously, why encourage bad writing?? I'm not saying to get all Simon Cowell on them, but rather please find a nice way of saying they need to improve.

The OC gets treated like a queen right off the bat. "I know you just graduated from Starfleet Academy with top marks, but here's a first officer position aboard the Enterprise!"
There's that one, and then there's "he's the youngest captain in Starfleet." I remember reading three stories on fan-fiction dot net; the first had "the youngest captain" at age 30 (promoted on his birthday). The next author made the captain age 29, and then the first author had a 27-year-old captain. I started to wonder how long before they put teenagers in command.

Someplace, a couple years ago, I posted the math calculating the youngest possible age for a full-bird Captain / Colonel in today's US military. As I recall, if someone hits minimum time-in-grade requirements every step, they would be 34 years old when they make Captain.

Unsurprisingly, most of these are Mary Sue characteristics.
The thing with Mary Sue is you're kind of darned if you do / darned if you don't. You write a character that's "perfect", and it's a Mary Sue. But Starfleet is supposed to be the best of the best, and besides who wants to read stories about boring people doing boring jobs?? It's a fine line.

When there's suddenly some graphic "shipping" stuff when there was absolutely no warning about that at the beginning.
That one isn't restricted to fan-fiction. Mike Shepherd put quite a bit of "spice" in the Kris Longknife series, starting about Book 5 or 6, but they were still okay for younger readers (early teens). His first Vicky Peterwald spin-off book, however, had scenes that would make many adult readers blush. Way over the top.
 
Someplace, a couple years ago, I posted the math calculating the youngest possible age for a full-bird Captain / Colonel in today's US military. As I recall, if someone hits minimum time-in-grade requirements every step, they would be 34 years old when they make Captain.

The youngest person to hold the rank of captain in the US Navy is generally regarded as CDRE Stephen Decatur Jr. who was commissioned at the age of 25, although it should be noted that as a frigate "captain" would probably corrrespond to a commander (above five years early) or even lieutenant commander (within range) in modern usage.
 
Okay, yes, true, but there a big difference between how things worked during the War Of 1812 and today's modern promotion system.
 
Okay, yes, true, but there a big difference between how things worked during the War Of 1812 and today's modern promotion system.

Yes, huge differences. When Decatur was promoted in 1804, the average officer entered active service at 17 and the average age at promotion to captain was 33. Also, there was no rank of commander at the time so Decatur did not skip a grade, and his promotion for an act of valor would be recognized by a decoration today.
 
What would a realistic promotion for an OC be, anyway? Realistically, based on the age and experience of canon Starfleet captains, how long would it take an Ensign to climb the ladder to Captain?
 
Well according to JJ Abrams', there's nothing wrong with promoting a cadet---with only 3 years of training---directly to Captain. And giving him command of the flagship no less.

Makes sense because I'm sure the Navy routinely gives midshipmen command of Aircraft carriers if they do something heroic, right?

Oh, wait a minute...
 
What would a realistic promotion for an OC be, anyway? Realistically, based on the age and experience of canon Starfleet captains, how long would it take an Ensign to climb the ladder to Captain?

The best source for the average rank progression would seem to be Data's explanation in Datalore (TNG) which suggests the average ages up to Lieutenant Commander would be:

Ensign: 22 EYO (+0)
Lieutenant JG: 25 EYO (+3)
Lieutenant: 30 to 31 EYO (est +8 to +9)
Lieutenant Commander: 35 to 37 EYO (+13 to +15).

After lieutenant commander it gets more complicated because it depends what posting you get, LT CMDR or CMDRs on the CO track appear to get promoted quicker than staff officers or department heads. For example Riker was a full commander (and up for a CO billet) when LaForge (a classmate) was a LT-JG (and the latter's progression was a lot closer to the average up to LT).

Compared to US Army standards:

Second Lieutenant: 22-23 RYO (+0)
First Lieutenant: 24-25 EYO (+0.75)
Army Captain: 26-27 EYO (+4)
Major: 32-33 EYO (+10)
 
I found the post I was looking for. I made it on another board back in 2011. See? The old grey-cells are still working.

Using real-world numbers, one cannot go to Academy or West Point until age 17. It takes four years to graduate ... none of this "Four years? I'll do it in three!" So an officer can be a 2Lt / Ensign at age 21. It takes two years to make 1Lt / LT-jg and another two for Capt / LT. That's pretty much set in stone.

Now, to move up to Major / LtCmdr and then to LtCol / Cmdr and again to COL / CAPT, the law (not just regulations) requires three years time in grade for each promotion. Of course, no one is ever promoted at the minimum time, but let's say somehow someone does. They will be 17+4+2+2+3+3+3 = 34 years old when they make O-6 Captain.

In theory, you can have a child prodigy get his degree by age 18 and then get a direct commission via OTS / OCS. That shaves off three years, and it is legal to promote from 2LT to 1LT in 18 months vice 24. Ergo, the absolute youngest a person in modern-day US military can theoretically make O-6 is age 30-1/2 years.

Also, each branch of the service has its own rules for enlisted. In the US Air Force, the minimum time-in-service to make rank is: E5 = 3 years, E6 = 5 years, E7 = 8 years, E8 = 11 years, and E9 = 14 years. In my 26 year USAF career, I only ever met one CMSgt (E9) who made it in under 16 years.​

I suppose one possible exception would be a "Doogie Howser" who becomes a medical doctor and thus enters service as an 18-year-old O-3 Capt / LT ... he could become an O-6 at age (18+3+3+3) = 27 years old.
 
But what made it worse was the number of comments saying "Oh, this is so great! I loved it! I can't wait for more!" Really? Seriously, why encourage bad writing?? I'm not saying to get all Simon Cowell on them, but rather please find a nice way of saying they need to improve.
This one gets my blood boiling.
Well according to JJ Abrams', there's nothing wrong with promoting a cadet---with only 3 years of training---directly to Captain. And giving him command of the flagship no less.

Makes sense because I'm sure the Navy routinely gives midshipmen command of Aircraft carriers if they do something heroic, right?

Oh, wait a minute...
Nu!Kirk must be a fracking prodigy or something.
 
Which is why Kirk and Janeway were promoted, while Picard and Sisko never went past Captain. :evil:

Ouch. Have to give Janeway credit for getting Voyager home after having to go through the Kazon, the Krenim, the Borg, Species 8472, the Vadwaar, the Hierarchy, the Hirogen, and others while being completely cut off from the Federation and Starfleet.

And I thought Picard preferred staying at Captain anyway?
 
@Janeway_74656: It was a joke. :whistle:

And I thought Picard preferred staying at Captain anyway?
Yes. Kirk's comment to him in Generations cemented that sentiment.

Ouch. Have to give Janeway credit for getting Voyager home after having to go through the Kazon, the Krenim, the Borg, Species 8472, the Vadwaar, the Hierarchy, the Hirogen, and others while being completely cut off from the Federation and Starfleet.
*insert obligatory reference to Janeway "murdering" Tuvix here*
 
Ouch. Have to give Janeway credit for getting Voyager home after having to go through the Kazon, the Krenim, the Borg, Species 8472, the Vadwaar, the Hierarchy, the Hirogen, and others while being completely cut off from the Federation and Starfleet.

And I thought Picard preferred staying at Captain anyway?
It was her fault they got stuck in the first place
 
But anyway, another question. Aren't those who attended command school and are thus in the command division of Starfleet able to reach the rank of Captain more quickly than those in engineering or science divisions?
 
Yeah, Janeway had her faults, but that's what made her a fun character to watch. Concerning
"Tuvix", there was no correct choice. Refusing to restore Tuvok and Neelix would have meant condemning them to death, which is also morally and ethically wrong. A fact people tend to ignore when debating the episode.
 
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