Was Lwaxana a Good Mother?

[Mojochi]

I'll admit I'm less inclined to have a strong opinion one way or the other on this, as I am on the similar Worf topic. So maybe convince me whether Troi's mom was a good mom to have, or a bad one.

Personally I lean toward not wanting her as a mom. Too much drama. Any mom whose daughter has to be the mature one is questionable imho

 

[DonIago]

I think she was a bit overbearing, but Deanna seems to have turned out well enough.

Besides, it's our parents' jobs to embarrass us.

She does better as a mom than Worf does as a dad, from all the evidence we have to work with.

 

[Tenacity]

While self absorbed Laxanna loves her daughter. And Deanna didn't turn out completely screwed up.

 

[Nyotarules]

She raised her daughter by herself, as well as represent a whole planet as an ambassador, Deanna Troi turned out fine.
She was a better parent than TOS Sarek

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Personally I lean toward not wanting her as a mom. Too much drama. Any mom whose daughter has to be the mature one is questionable imho

Lwaxana is flamboyant and outgoing, but NOT immature.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

Depends whether you think she was negligent when Kestra died or if it was the kind of unpredictable thing that could have happened to anyone. From the fragment of her memory we see, it's unclear whether she should have known she was doing something dangerous and ignored it, or whether she was just running along a not inherently dangerous brook and had a freak accident.

Besides that I would say she's a good mother, just has trouble letting Deanna be herself, but that's true of almost all mothers.

 

[Kilana2]

I think she was a bit overbearing, but Deanna seems to have turned out well enough.

Besides, it's our parents' jobs to embarrass us.

She does better as a mom than Worf does as a dad, from all the evidence we have to work with.

And don't forget: Worf asked for Deanna's help when he needed someone to take care of Alexander. Despite the fact that Deanna didn't have children of her own. Worf appreciated her friendship and abilites as counselor.

I don't think that Lwaxana was that bad at all. I love the episode where she tried to suppress the memories about Kestra and Deanna helped her through her experiences.

 

[Mojochi]

Lwaxana is flamboyant and outgoing, but NOT immature.

Meh... sometimes she was. Announcing alleged salaciousness in someone else's mind, like she does with just about any man she wants to make squirm? Butting in on Worf's parenting? (However bad it was), belittling her daughter about her life choices? Causing scenes etc... I mean what's it say if you still call your adult daughter "Little one"? I suppose we're meant to take it as endearing, but I think we're also meant to take it as slightly demeaning, which it is

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying these things define her as an utterly immature person, but she does wet her beak in those waters lol. As has been mentioned, Deanna has seemingly come through it none the worse. So it clearly wasn't that terrible

In her defense, from an overall character arc perspective, it's actually kind of understandable that she'd be something an overbearing, occasionally immature, high spirited mess. The lady is dealing with a dead husband she almost never talks about, & a dead daughter she damn near blocked out permanently. I like to imagine she wasn't quite as hard to deal with before all that, & that it might've been a really wonderful family environment for the most part. Deanna may be annoyed now & then, but she certainly doesn't harbor any resentment

 

[DonIago]

I still love Picard's line and Stewart's delivery of said line: "Nothing would give me more pleasure than to give away Mrs. Troi."

 

[Agony_Boothb]

Lwaxana could be overbearing, irritating and overly-dramatic, but her heart was always in the right place and it was always clear how much she loved deanna.

 

[May 20]

I would have died from embarrassment if my mom were half as exuberant as Lwaxana. That said, I think she was a good mother. I believe Kestra's death was one of those freak accidents that just happen sometimes, and I believe that is one of the reasons Lwaxana is overly nosy and pushy about Deanna's life. She's lost one little girl; she's not going to lose two. All children should be as loved and cared for as Deanna, though maybe with a bit less flamboyance.

 

[Doc Mugatu]

I'll admit I'm less inclined to have a strong opinion one way or the other on this, as I am on the similar Worf topic. So maybe convince me whether Troi's mom was a good mom to have, or a bad one.

Personally I lean toward not wanting her as a mom. Too much drama. Any mom whose daughter has to be the mature one is questionable imho

Whereas Worf provided many instances to warrant the questioning of his parenting, Lwaxana has not, therefore, this question is, respectfully, without foundation or merit. Just because momma Troi may have, at times, embarrassed or frustrated her daughter, Deanna, that is simply not enough to legitimately provoke the question of Lwaxana's parenting.

As for the personal desire not to have Lwaxana as your mother is your choice but a separate topic as it does not, in and of itself, go anywhere near providing a sound basis questioning her fitness to parent a child.

You may want to change the question (maybe turn it a poll) of whether folks would want Lwaxana Troi for their mother.

 

[STEPhon IT]

While self absorbed Laxanna loves her daughter. And Deanna didn't turn out completely screwed up.

That answer sums up this thread. Nuff said. Deanna didn't turn out to be a Noonian Singh.

 

[DonIago]

That is a more interesting question...

I have a feeling that much of the time I'd simply love having someone as dynamic as Lwaxana as a mom. Say what you will, she at least was never boring!

That said, there'd probably be times where I was cringing as much as Deanna. But what kid hasn't felt that way about their parents at some point?

 

[Mojochi]

Whereas Worf provided many instances to warrant the questioning of his parenting, Lwaxana has not, therefore, this question is, respectfully, without foundation or merit. Just because momma Troi may have, at times, embarrassed or frustrated her daughter, Deanna, that is simply not enough to legitimately provoke the question of Lwaxana's parenting.

As for the personal desire not to have Lwaxana as your mother is your choice but a separate topic as it does not, in and of itself, go anywhere near providing a sound basis questioning her fitness to parent a child.

You may want to change the question (maybe turn it a poll) of whether folks would want Lwaxana Troi for their mother.

Dude, this isn't as serious as all that. It's not like I'm in here saying they should've taken Lwaxana's children away from her, or provoking some kind of fitness hearing. It's a simple question of whether people think she was a good mother. A person's opinion of whether they themselves would want her as a mother is relevant to that... & I even admitted to being on the fence about that part too

I'm not seeing how you took my OP so radically. It's just a casual conversation about what kind of mom people thought she was. Her character gets talked about a lot for being a lot of things, but the motherhood aspect isn't delved into much (At least that I've seen anyway)

 

[DonIago]

I see your point that G. may have overreacted but "Is X a good mother/father?" is a fairly loaded question and does raise the specter of questions along the lines of "should they have been allowed to raise children", so... That may not have been what you intended, but I do feel you sort of opened the door for it.

 

[Mojochi]

I see your point that G. may have overreacted but "Is X a good mother/father?" is a fairly loaded question and does raise the specter of questions along the lines of "should they have been allowed to raise children", so... That may not have been what you intended, but I do feel you sort of opened the door for it.

Honestly I wouldn't have ever thought to consider it that way, in a TNG context. I truthfully don't think there's sufficient cause to suggest any of the TNG characters were so bad at parenting that their right to be a parent should be taken away. That includes Worf (as bad at it as he was) Even Riker's dad seems like he wasn't all that great, but not THAT bad

So certainly that wouldn't be my thoughts about Lwaxana, & mostly I was hoping for a conversation that might explore what about her could've been improved, or about why those things that needed improvement might have been understandable in her case, as a widowed woman who'd already lost a child

To my appreciation, a lot of that has come out in this thread. I guess my mistake was in the topic title's wording, which I blindly only thought to use as a way to echo the similar Worf topic, which BTW, isn't necessarily a call to remove him as a parent either. It's just a little criticism. Ultimately, people can get real touchy if the subject of criticism is parenting. It's a singular taboo we enforce socially, as if criticizing someone as a parent equates to suggesting they oughtn't be one. It really doesn't though imho

Interestingly enough, there's been 4 pages of Worf's thread, & no one has gotten the idea that that thread was intended to suggest he shouldn't be allowed to be a father, just in what ways he could've been a better one

 

[Makarov]

TBH I think even the worf thread is harsh on him as well. Worf did the best he could and made sure he was taken care of really. And he wanted to marry Alexander's mother to begin the family but she rejected him. Then he loses the mom right off the bat.. he was in a tough situation

I think if we had more info on Lwaxana or some flashback episodes where we saw her raising young Deanna then there would be more critical of her, it's difficult to say either way by just looking at their relationship as adults

 

[Sisko_is_my_captain]

I don't think you can question Lwaxana's intense love for Deanna. I think Lwaxana's personality is, in many ways, her coping mechanism for dealing with a lot of pain and tragedy in her past. She puts on a smile and acts overbearing to hide her sadness. She's quite clearly very lonely, and half the time we see her, she's dealing with a huge hormonal storm that's probably making her act out (similarly to a teenager). I forget how old Deanna's father was when he died, but Lwaxana's been a single mom for some time, and she produced a very level-headed, intelligent, successful daughter.

I'd also like to point out how protective and mama-bear-like she turned out to be when she was pregnant on DS9. She refused to let her then-husband take custody of her child. And further, consider how she played a bit of a mother/grandmother role to Alexander, which - to me - reflects her mothering style, which was to be emotionally engaged, encouraging, humorous, and respectful. Her heart always seems to be in the right place. If she is a bit irreverent, I'd say she's earned the right (and you can't deny that the folks she teases do, in fact, act kind of stuffy). I actually tend to associate her brand of irreverence with high intelligence. It's not that she can't act serious (see her behavior when Timicin leaves to go die, or how she regards Odo) - it's that she just rarely feels the need to be serious.

 

[Ar-Pharazon]

That answer sums up this thread. Nuff said. Deanna didn't turn out to be a Noonian Singh.

Or even Noonien Soong.