The Time Rap: Spock uses classical music to help the rest of the crew learn about history.
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Matter of Hodor -- The Borg and the White Walkers team up to destroy mankind...only Hodor can unlock their secrets and save mankind. But he can't hold the door because they slide apart now. Special guest stars Hodor from Game of Thrones.
Devil's Dude -- Wesley loses his mind and announces to everyone that he's going to be a jerk from now on. Otherwise known as Journey's End.
A Measure of a Man's -........ sex, sex, sex, sex, sex.
We'll always hate Paris -- Everyone wonders why Paris won't tell them what he did to get kicked out of Starfleet.
Code of Hodor -- ..........sex, sex, sex, sex ???
Devil's Dude -- Wesley loses his mind and announces to everyone that he's going to be a jerk from now on. Otherwise known as Journey's End.
A Measure of a Man's -........ sex, sex, sex, sex, sex.
We'll always hate Paris -- Everyone wonders why Paris won't tell them what he did to get kicked out of Starfleet.
Code of Hodor -- ..........sex, sex, sex, sex ???
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Samaritan Spare: Starfleet's annual bowling league tournament is underway. Riker is worried the crew of the Enterprise will lose to the crew of the Yamato when a shapeshifted Q arrives to help out. Despite cheating with the help of a god-like figure they still say they deserved to win because the other competitors were arrogant.
Choose Your Paint - Lorca gets captured by a Klingon ship and finds Ash Tyler and Harry Mudd trying to decide whether to redecorate with matt or silk emulsion.
Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mod - The crew of Discovery end up back in 1960s Britain and Saru finds himself in a motorcycle gang.
Magic to Make the Sanest Man Go Mod - The crew of Discovery end up back in 1960s Britain and Saru finds himself in a motorcycle gang.
The Starch, Part One and Two: Sisko takes his uniform to the Founders laundry because Starfleet cleaners always puts too much starch in his collars.
Skim of Evil - The enterprise crew while attempting to rescue crewmates in a downed shuttle encounter a creature of pure evil made of skim milk. Skim being the evilest of milks. Yar is killed by severe lactose intolerance.
For The World Is Hollow And I Have Touched The Ska - Kirk and crew form a ska band and turn the enterprise into a 24 hour 7 days a week space party palace. Kirk of course is most interested in groupies. Special guest stars the hippies from The Way To Eden.
Spock's Bran - Spock is constipated and suffering from the Poop Farr. Only futuristic bran can save him.
Snub Rosa - Beverly is denied a tryst with a ghost
Rightful Herr - Kahless returns and reveals that the Klingon race is descended from Germans. Klingtoberfest is born
Face Of The Enema - Troi is abducted by aliens and forced to undergo the probe
Feces - The vidiians return and the shit hits the fan
For The World Is Hollow And I Have Touched The Ska - Kirk and crew form a ska band and turn the enterprise into a 24 hour 7 days a week space party palace. Kirk of course is most interested in groupies. Special guest stars the hippies from The Way To Eden.
Spock's Bran - Spock is constipated and suffering from the Poop Farr. Only futuristic bran can save him.
Snub Rosa - Beverly is denied a tryst with a ghost
Rightful Herr - Kahless returns and reveals that the Klingon race is descended from Germans. Klingtoberfest is born
Face Of The Enema - Troi is abducted by aliens and forced to undergo the probe
Feces - The vidiians return and the shit hits the fan
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Coretaker - A criminal succeeds in stealing Voyagers warp core.
Hippocritic Oath - This episode follows the story of a Starfleet doctor that is asked to work for Section 31 and develop a morphogenic virus.
Hippocritic Oath - This episode follows the story of a Starfleet doctor that is asked to work for Section 31 and develop a morphogenic virus.
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Guest-starring Vaughn Armstrong as Kwyjibo.
"Where Loman Has Gone Before" - Thinly disguised rehash of "Death of a Salesman" in Star Trek trappings.
"Valance of Terror" - Everyone is horrified by some Romulan drapery McCoy gets as a gift.
"Space Steed" - A horse from the 20th century tries to take over the Enterprise.
"This Slide of Paradise" - Scotty insists on showing everyone vacation photos of his old home country.
"The Savage Curtin" - Somehow Jane Curtin is still alive - and she's ANGRY!
"The Measure of a Mane" - Clip show where all the flashbacks are justified by recollections of Worf's lengthening pony tail.
"Valance of Terror" - Everyone is horrified by some Romulan drapery McCoy gets as a gift.
"Space Steed" - A horse from the 20th century tries to take over the Enterprise.
"This Slide of Paradise" - Scotty insists on showing everyone vacation photos of his old home country.
"The Savage Curtin" - Somehow Jane Curtin is still alive - and she's ANGRY!
"The Measure of a Mane" - Clip show where all the flashbacks are justified by recollections of Worf's lengthening pony tail.
Tar Trek - consists of only one episode... "Skin of Evil"
"Yar of Hell" - Tasha comes back as a zombie to eat the crew of Voyager.
"Tim's Arrow" - The crew of the Enterprise-D go back in time and meet Tim Allen.
"Chan of Command" - Jackie Chan is kidnapped by Gul Madred. Hilarity ensues.
"Mii" - Kirk and crew beam down to a planet of kids obsessed with pretending to play the Nintendo Wii.
"In the Pale Morn Light" - Sisko recounts the events leading to convincing Morn joining the war.
"The Pay of the Warrior" - Worf negotiates his salary for his new post on DS9. He is told "no."
"Battle at the Binar Stars" - Michael Burnham inadvertently starts a war with the fierce Binars.
"Star Trek: The Emotion Picture" - Just a lot of reaction shots. Pretty much the original theatrical release.
"Star Trek II: The Wreath of Khan" - Khan travels far and wide to find the perfect Christmas wreath, all the while being prevented from having the one thing he always wanted, the Genesis Device, with everyone telling him he'll shoot his eye out. Hilarity ensues. Think Christmas Vacation meets A Christmas Story.
"The Cake" - In this lost pilot, the crew of the Enterprise follow a distress signal to the planet Talos IV, where Captain Pike is taken captive by a group of telepathic aliens and forced to relive his 8th birthday party where Sally Norris laughed at him when he told her his wish is that she would kiss him, resulting in him running away crying and eating all the birthday cake, which turned out to be white cake with white frosting, not carrot cake with buttercream frosting, which was his favorite and can't a kid just have his favorite cake and a kiss for his birthday? Is that too much to ask?!
"Yar of Hell" - Tasha comes back as a zombie to eat the crew of Voyager.
"Tim's Arrow" - The crew of the Enterprise-D go back in time and meet Tim Allen.
"Chan of Command" - Jackie Chan is kidnapped by Gul Madred. Hilarity ensues.
"Mii" - Kirk and crew beam down to a planet of kids obsessed with pretending to play the Nintendo Wii.
"In the Pale Morn Light" - Sisko recounts the events leading to convincing Morn joining the war.
"The Pay of the Warrior" - Worf negotiates his salary for his new post on DS9. He is told "no."
"Battle at the Binar Stars" - Michael Burnham inadvertently starts a war with the fierce Binars.
"Star Trek: The Emotion Picture" - Just a lot of reaction shots. Pretty much the original theatrical release.
"Star Trek II: The Wreath of Khan" - Khan travels far and wide to find the perfect Christmas wreath, all the while being prevented from having the one thing he always wanted, the Genesis Device, with everyone telling him he'll shoot his eye out. Hilarity ensues. Think Christmas Vacation meets A Christmas Story.
"The Cake" - In this lost pilot, the crew of the Enterprise follow a distress signal to the planet Talos IV, where Captain Pike is taken captive by a group of telepathic aliens and forced to relive his 8th birthday party where Sally Norris laughed at him when he told her his wish is that she would kiss him, resulting in him running away crying and eating all the birthday cake, which turned out to be white cake with white frosting, not carrot cake with buttercream frosting, which was his favorite and can't a kid just have his favorite cake and a kiss for his birthday? Is that too much to ask?!
Profit and Floss
There's a new fad on Ferenginar of having clean, straight white teeth like a hew-mon. Rom picks up on the trend, Quark is disgusted. Nog feels pressured by his human friends to jump on the trend. Nog decides he has to be who he is and gets his Starfleet friends to accept him even with gross crooked teeth.
There's a new fad on Ferenginar of having clean, straight white teeth like a hew-mon. Rom picks up on the trend, Quark is disgusted. Nog feels pressured by his human friends to jump on the trend. Nog decides he has to be who he is and gets his Starfleet friends to accept him even with gross crooked teeth.
In A Mirror, Dorkly
We see an alternate universe where the crew of the Enterprise are all giant nerds.
We see an alternate universe where the crew of the Enterprise are all giant nerds.
The Vulcan Hell
A human raised by Vulcans is sent to serve on a ship of non Vulcans. Learns that hell is other humans.
Cattle at the Binary Stars
The Federation investigates the bovine colony on it's borders with the Klingon Empire. They find that Klingons have developed a taste for beef and wish to invade the Federation for the rest of its c cattle farms.
Content is for Kings
Many US viewers lament the fact that their free trial of CBSAA had lapsed, and that they will have to subscribe to watch more.
The Butcher's Knife Cares not for the Lamb's Try
Burnham discovers that the sheep they found in the previous episode could be a star rugby player. Lorca doesn't care.
Choose Your Pan
After slaughtering the ship's lamb, Lorca then forces Burnham to decide on the cooking implements to use in it's preparation.
Lithe
Burnham gets show off her supple form in hand to hand combat.
Magic to Make the Sanest Fan go Mad
Hordes of Trek fans take to Twitter to complain that the latest episode of Discovery seems to have been replaced by the TNG episode "Cause and Effect"
A human raised by Vulcans is sent to serve on a ship of non Vulcans. Learns that hell is other humans.
Cattle at the Binary Stars
The Federation investigates the bovine colony on it's borders with the Klingon Empire. They find that Klingons have developed a taste for beef and wish to invade the Federation for the rest of its c cattle farms.
Content is for Kings
Many US viewers lament the fact that their free trial of CBSAA had lapsed, and that they will have to subscribe to watch more.
The Butcher's Knife Cares not for the Lamb's Try
Burnham discovers that the sheep they found in the previous episode could be a star rugby player. Lorca doesn't care.
Choose Your Pan
After slaughtering the ship's lamb, Lorca then forces Burnham to decide on the cooking implements to use in it's preparation.
Lithe
Burnham gets show off her supple form in hand to hand combat.
Magic to Make the Sanest Fan go Mad
Hordes of Trek fans take to Twitter to complain that the latest episode of Discovery seems to have been replaced by the TNG episode "Cause and Effect"
Passover?
No, it isn't a sacrifice, it's just that they'd run out of cows.
So "Vis Pacem, Para Bellum"
Hilarious anthology episode showing individual cases of Klingons trying to pick fights with the Federation believing it will improve diplomatic relations between them. Those crazy Klingons!
Into the Forest, Igor
We discover that Saru has helped Lorca create an artificial human who has killed crew members and escaped into the forests of Pahvo. He must go looking for it before it kills again.
Despite Your Shelf
Saru keeps finding Georgiou's telescope on the floor of his quarters, no matter how hard he tries to fix it to his shelf.
The Wolfing Side
Burnham becomes part werewolf, but it only seems to affect the left side of her body. They need to find a cure before it spreads to the right.
Fault in Gambit Ion
The Discovery's spore drive fails to activate again. Stamets discovers a new particle, the "gambit ion" that is essential for it to function properly, but they seem to be degrading. They need to find a new source of the rare material.
What's Pasta's Prologue?
Saru wants to know what led humans to create spaghetti. Nobody seems to know the answer.
The Bar Without, the War Within
Discovery's bar has run out of real booze. Tyler, still battling with PTSD must overcome his issues whilst sober.
Will You Take My Wand
Stamets wishes to give up control of the spore drive and asks Burnham to take the device he's been calling a wand. Unfortunately, he forgot to tell anybody that's what he called it. A confused Burnham agrees... Stamets goes through with it but decides it's definitely not for him.
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And here was me thinking that most of Discovery's episode titles were immune from this treatment.
I was wrong!
Well, once I'd thought of a couple, I felt I needed to go for the clean sweep. The one I found the most disappointing of my attempts was The Wolf Inside, so I now have an alternative:
The Wilf Inside
Doctor Who crossover episode. Wilfred Mott has managed to find himself in a fatal dead man's switch situation for the second time this millennium. Will one of the crew make the ultimate sacrifice to save the man who is, according to official statistics, now the oldest living human?
Currently looking through episode lists for some that I don't think have had treatment.
What are Little Gills Made of?
The Enterprise discovers a planet filled with microscopic marine animals. Spock ponders the chemical composition of their improbable breathing apparatus.
The Morbo Mite Maneuver
A 31st century news reader develops an infestation from the DooP Captain, Zap Brannigan. He then decides to travel back in time six hundred years to troll Zap's distant relative.
The Cone Science of the King
Kirk and co. stumble across an alien ruler who forces all his subjects to wear pointy hats in the belief it will give him wizardly powers.
There, Turn off the Archons
... there, they're right in front of you and they've been on all night wasting power. Oh, forget it, I'll do it myself.
The Applet
The Enterprise computer is in need of a JavaScript update in order to keep running Kirk's hookup websites.
Let That be your Last Cattle Field
The Federation finally liberates it's farming colonies from a struggling Klingon Empire.
What are Little Gills Made of?
The Enterprise discovers a planet filled with microscopic marine animals. Spock ponders the chemical composition of their improbable breathing apparatus.
The Morbo Mite Maneuver
A 31st century news reader develops an infestation from the DooP Captain, Zap Brannigan. He then decides to travel back in time six hundred years to troll Zap's distant relative.
The Cone Science of the King
Kirk and co. stumble across an alien ruler who forces all his subjects to wear pointy hats in the belief it will give him wizardly powers.
There, Turn off the Archons
... there, they're right in front of you and they've been on all night wasting power. Oh, forget it, I'll do it myself.
The Applet
The Enterprise computer is in need of a JavaScript update in order to keep running Kirk's hookup websites.
Let That be your Last Cattle Field
The Federation finally liberates it's farming colonies from a struggling Klingon Empire.
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