If you were an alien race how would you take over Earth?

[Gingerbread Demon]

if you were an alien race wanting to take Earth how would you do it?

Would you go in guns blazing and conquer or would you be more subtle about it and do so in a more stealthy manner?

For me the quiet way biding my time.

I'd infiltrate human culture with my culture a tiny bit at a time and change people's ideas about things via social engineering, and social media, movies TV etc. After enough time has passed and people are OK with certain ideas in their world then I'd step in and seize power because by then a lot of the people would have been indoctrinated to accepting my culture because those ideas had been fed to them over time.

 

[Mudd]

Depends on the objective of the takeover.

Depends on what kind of alien I am.

I mean, really.

First question is always: are human beings an infestation, slaves, a minor nuisance, or an Important Part Of A Balanced Diet?

Or, I suppose, humans may be viewed as a potential threat to the universe.

In that case, Nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to...yada yada.

(I just wanted to be the first poster to get that option in there)

 

[Gingerbread Demon]

Depends on the objective of the takeover.

Depends on what kind of alien I am.

I mean, really.

First question is always: are human beings an infestation, slaves, a minor nuisance, or an Important Part Of A Balanced Diet?

Or, I suppose, humans may be viewed as a potential threat to the universe.

In that case, Nuke it from orbit, it's the only way to...yada yada.

(I just wanted to be the first poster to get that option in there)

And that's cool.

For my OP I have really left all the options up to you. Feel free to make whatever scenario suits your needs. I chose the subtle route.

 

[Mudd]

"Kill Them All And Let Bleem Sort Them Out!"

 

[Nakita Akita]

I think it is already happening.

 

[USS Firefly]

Make Trump world leader, and then clean up the mess and you have a world without humans

 

[Nyotarules]

Sterilise everyone - slow death (put some viral agent in the air and the water)

 

[Snaploud]

I would just buy up all the good land. Capitalism would be Earth's downfall when dealing with an intersteller power.

 

[Mudd]

I would just buy up all the good land. Capitalism would be Earth's downfall when dealing with an intersteller power.

Not really.

Without capitalism, the aliens would just take whatever shit they want any way.

Ask Native Americans.

 

[Snaploud]

Not really.

Without capitalism, the aliens would just take whatever shit they want any way.

Ask Native Americans.

One path involves violence and killing. One path involves bribing primitives with shiny wondrous things that are cheaply-produced off-planet.

 

[arch101]

Just give the puny humans health, wealth and endless entertainment, and they'll pretty much do anything you want.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Rest assured you'll never see it coming.

 

[Mudd]

One path involves violence and killing. One path involves bribing primitives with shiny wondrous things that are cheaply-produced off-planet.

This makes a difference to humans.

Do the aliens care?

Speaking hypothetically as an alien: Fuck No.

You're suggesting that we bargain with flatworms; I'm hungry now.

 

[BillJ]

Slam a big-ass asteroid into the planet.

 

[Jax]

If I wanted our resources then slowly and through the back door as a direct confrontation with Humankind could screw that up. If I just wanted some human slaves then overwhelming force as I would assume just getting to Earth means I have superior tech.

 

[JasonJ]

It depends... what do I/we want to do with the planet afterwards? Strip mine it? Live on it? Use it for target practice?

Assuming we want to leave it whole and perhaps live on it, as aliens, I'd do one of two things, depending on how patient I am. I'd either introduce ourselves as benevolent aliens all while slowing integrating into their society and systematically sterilizing the entire species. Then wait no more than 100 years and all humans are dead. This was the plan in that one episode of Stargate... it was working for the most part.

OR, simply introduce a lethal virus to the population, one that is harmless to my own species and then let them die. Come in and collect the bodies to use for fuel, or food.. or just let them rot and decompose where they lie.

The other option is to brainwash the humans with a new reality TV show or immersive and addictive app. While the humans were distracted, I could implement whatever diabolical plan I wanted to.

No... I haven't given this much thought in the past at all! <sarcasm>

 

[Dick Whitman]

Just ask to speak to the current US President. You would have control
In less than 5 minutes.

On the same note I am surprised no one has done a parody with Q from the Next Generation showing up on modern Earth to put humanity on trial. Do we want Trump as our defense? Our whole species would be wipe out in mintues.

 

[galad2003]

If I wanted the planet intact I would just introduce a virus and let everyone die off.

 

[Nyotarules]

Make all elephants and other 'hunted by humans might go extinct' species sentient for a week.

 

[Matthew Raymond]

The timetable has a major effect. If you have thousands of years, you give everyone really good health care, a good standard of living and perfect contraception, then subtly use your reproductive technology not to completely sterilize the population, but to reduce growth to the point where the population declines over many generations. All the while, I'd be building habitats for my alien race underground, underwater and in places that are incapable of supporting human live (South Pole, Sahara Desert, et cetera). Once the population drops below a certain level, you build them in Truman Show-style habitats and maintain the population for entertainment purposes.

Or, if you really don't care about genetic purity, just genetically alter your race to be really sexy humanoids that can interbreed with humans, and then screw until everyone's an alien-human hybrid.

Or create really cool virtual reality worlds, where people can have their bodies stored in suspended animation for centuries while their minds are uploaded into these simulated worlds where they can do anything they want, and tell them you'll take care of the world while they're frozen. You don't even have to lie to them. They go live in the perfect fantasy world while you run the planet, and just keep a few habitats for the ones who decide to come out of VR or don't want to go in in the first place. For the people who absolutely want their own planet and had the idea of things not being "real", find a nice planet to terraform and give them everything they need to do it. They build a civilization, forget their zealot origins, and then you just start the process over on the new planet.

Or, giant solar shade that causes the entire planet to freeze. Remove the shade after a few thousand years, once all the humans have exhausted their fuel supplies to keep warm. Live in the perfectly preserved homes of the dead humans and dine on their thawed flesh.