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Contest: ENTER ENT Caption Competition #114: Detention

Nebusj

Rear Admiral
Rear Admiral
Hello all and thanks for sticking around as November turned into another of those blindingly busy months. The height of it would be my getting to that Thanksgiving parade which got an actual thunderstorm squall dumped on it. I don't know if there's video of it on the Internet but if you can find the last ten minutes of Lansing's Silver Bells In The City 2016 Parade you should definitely watch it. And then imagine being in it. Because it was awesome and you're going to love what you see. Promise.

But now to clean up the business of the last Caption Competition. Who won? Everyone but Travis Mayweather, of course. But more specifically:


Winning the Thanks of Lynx Over in the Voyager Forum:

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Trip: "So, what's your name?"
Girl: "Kes."


Winning The Jane Jacobs Award For Building This City on Rock-And-Roll:

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T'POL: "My apologies for interrupting the filming of your music video. Lower the weapon."



Earning our appreciation for showing How to Recognize Different Actors-Turned-Directors From Quite A Long Way Away:

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Jolene: I'm relieved Beltran isn't directing this episode. We won't be able to notice him on this set even if we tried.


Reminding us to never start translating something you don't want to read:

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"'If you can read this, you're a-' - HEY!"


Winning the 'Oh Yeah, November Was A Heck Of A Month' pennant:

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Girl: (laughs) No, really. The CUBS?!?



And bringing home a precious Secret Decoder Pin, Not Ring, Because We're Fighting Back Against Inaccurate Depictions of Old-Time Radio Promotional Items As If That Were Something That Needed Doing:

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T'Pol: "Drink ... more ... Ovaltine."



And finally the Intelligence Memorandum Reminding You To Read Your Intelligence Memoranda About The Stupid Planet document with gold-highlighted paragraphs goes to:

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T'POL: I was unaware this world was clothing optional.



And now I look ahead to a much less busy month, one that won't take me away from recreational activities like TrekBBS nearly so much, what with it only having Christmas, two pinball tournaments, and a work trip on the agenda. Here for your riffing pleasure, scenes from one of those episodes I just forget exists even though it was apparently filmed in my elementary school's art room, Detained:

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Thanks to all for reading, writing, and whatever it is the rest of you do!
 
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TRAVIS: This isn't bad. Maybe Negan taking our beds and mattresses isn't so horrible!
ARCHER: Shut up, Travis!
 
Thanks for the win

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Captain's Log: I'm hallucinating again. This happens every time I go to sleep without Porthos around. I could have sworn there was a guy next to me.
 
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Centurion
What's this then? Romanes eunt domus. People called Romanes they go the house?
Brian It, it says 'Romans go home'.
Centurion No it doesn't. What's latin for 'Roman'? Come on...
Brian Aaah.
Centurion Come on.
Brian Ah! Romanus?
Centurion Goes like?
Brian Annus?
Centurion Vocative plural of 'annus' is?
Brian Anni?
Centurion Romani.
Eunt? What is eunt?
Brian Go.
Centurion Conjugate the verb 'to go'.
Brian Uh. Ire - Uh... eo, is, it, imus, itis, eunt.
Centurion So eunt is?
Brian Ah, Uh, Third person plural of present indicative. They go.
Centurion But 'Romans go home' is an order, so you must use the..?
Brian The imperative.
Centurion Which is?
Brian Ahm. Oh, oh, um... i, i.
Centurion How many Romans?
Brian Ah. Plural, plural... ite, ite.
Centurion Ite.
Domus? Nominative? 'Go home'? This is motion towards, isn't it, boy?
Brian Dative, sir. Ahh. No, not dative, not the dative, sir. Oh, Ah. Uh. The accusative,ad plus accusative. Ah, Domum, sir. Ad domum! Ah! Oooh! Ah!
Centurion Except that towns and small islands, domus, humus and rus ...?
Brian Omit the preposition.
Centurion Which leaves?
Brian Domum. Aaah! ah.
Centurion Domum... um... Understand?
Brian Yes, sir.
Centurion Now write it out a hundred times.
 
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Mayweather: "Goodnight, Captain. Don't let the bedbugs bite."
Archer: "Why did you have to say that, Ensign?" (tries not to scratch)
Mayweather:
"Heh heh heh..."
 
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Annonymous Omnipotent All Powerful Unseen Space Alien Voice: "You're traveling through another star system; a star system of not only no sight or sound of ships, except mine. A journey into a freightening system who's boundaries are that of anything more interesting than Goddamn alien space NAZI's. Your next stop: the Great Barrier zone."
 
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T'Pol: "... and then in the dream, I was flyng through a long tunnel, what do you think it means?"
Phlox: "The whole thing sounds quite Fraudian, have you considered getting laid more often?"
 
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You are getting sleepy. Very, very sleepy. You are in a deep deep sleep. When I snap my fingers you will awake and cluck like a chicken.
 
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Mayweather's Log: I don't know where I am or how i got here, but I now know that the strange noise on C deck after 2300 hours isn't a faulty power relay.


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Siri: Please put me down Jonathan.
 
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ARCHER:So this is it?
DANIELS: What do you mean?
ARCHER:The time travel device, that's it? I was expecting more than just a glowing tunnel
DANIELS: I'll have you know it's a classic, you 22nd Century cretin!!
 
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Mayweather (Thinking): "You know, we're really getting close to that Planet - close enough to hit it...I REALLY should say something as everyone else seems occupied............Nah ."
[30 seconds later...<CRASH>...<BOOM>]
 
And now, a lesson in fire safety! Here are some handy tips for the 21st and 22nd centuries:

1) Always have an escape plan in place.

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2) Know your closest exit. During a drill or an emergency situation, proceed outside in a calm and orderly fashion.
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3) In the event of a fire, leave immediately. DON'T go back for anything.
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4) If you catch on fire, stop, drop and roll.
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5) Seek medical attention immediately for any burns or smoke inhalation.
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6)
After cooking, always check to make sure you didn't leave the stove on.
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7) Be sure to store flammable chemicals, such as paint or turpentine in a safe manner. Don't leave chemical-soaked rags lying around.
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