Blowing up both Romulus and Vulcan was incredibly stupid, and that is one of the many reasons I loathe Abramstrek. It is an alternate timeline so I can more or less ignore it, especially the destruction of Vulcan. However, blowing up Romulus supposedly happened in the real (or "Prime") timeline, and that is just something I find hard to stomach. Let JJ do his destructive thing in his own sandbox, but don't pollute the neighbouring sandbox in the process.
So I tend to view all - everything depicted in these movies - as happening in an alternate timeline even before Nero arrived. There are things that happened in them besides the destruction of Romulus (like the look and feel of the Kelvin, the galactic geography, etc.) that make me come to this view.
The sad thing, though, is that apparently there is uncertainty about this when it comes to post-NEM, post-DS9, post-VOY stories, since Paramount owns what has been shown in the JJ-movies and CBS had the TV rights. And there has to my knowledge not been any Lit Trek set in the Abramsverse, but I think the Lit Trek set up the the real timeline is now close to catching up to this event (the destruction of Romulus) that they're not allowed to mention. This would also be a problem if and when they might decide on a TV series set in this era.
Given all that, my recommendation would be to say to them "frak it" and totally ignore the destruction of Romulus and continue with the real Star Trek as if that never happened. My head canon says anyway that it was not Prime Spock that went back in time to Abramstek, but an Alt-Prime Spock not related to the real Spock (never mind that he was played by Leonard Nimoy). Just as it was an Alt-Prime George Kirk that got killed, etc.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it!