Oh yeah, I work with a few "personalities."
1. "Can-Don't": In meetings, on phone calls, or in email this person is very positive about getting the work done, very friendly and sounds like a real "can-doer." This is a lie. As soon as communication ends, zero effort to complete the task seems to occur on their part. You try to follow-up but they seem impossible to reach, until you finally corner them and they are again effusively positive and apologetic about the perceived delays. The task never actually gets done.
2. There is Such a Thing as a Stupid Question: This type existed in school and still exists in the workplace. You are working in a group, everyone is working well together, very productive, discussing a complex topic, then this person chimes in with a seemingly unrelated question that displays their complete ineptitude on the current topic. Someone takes pity on them and tries to answer the question, which completely derails the real discussion, usually just when a great breakthrough was about to be made.
3. It's All About Me: There are two types of people who are self-centered. The first are those who think too highly of themselves and who annoy everyone for obvious reasons. The second, however, are even more insidious. These are the people who are deeply insecure and somehow make every negative thing about them. "Did I say that wrong, will the boss be mad?" (Boss doesn't give a shit). They like to apologize profusely for some minor occurrence that barely affected you, to the point that they are truly wasting your time. Everything seems to be about them and how sorry they are and how much of a martyr they are. Recently a co-worker in this category gave someone slight mis-advice in an email and felt so bad about it that she wanted to contact that person's supervisor to explain that it was not the other person's fault and then wanted to send the other employee a Starbucks gift card. I couldn't contain myself and laughed out loud and said "um, no. They don't care that much, this is not gift worthy." She also obsesses about not offending others to the point that it keeps her up at night. It's really very conceited to think that others give that much effort to caring about what you say and do.
4. My Work is a "Learning Opportunity" for You: Maybe I'll stop encountering this one when I'm no longer the youngest one in the office. More experienced co-workers like to pass off the work they don't want to do as a "learning experience" for me. There are some things that are not in my job description and that I don't need or want to learn. They will not help me do my job. It's just a way for you to get out of doing the task yourself.
5. Negative Nancy: This one is obvious but needs to be stated. I used to think I was this person, until I met a REAL Negative Nancy. Every single topic somehow turns into a discussion of her annoyance with one thing or another. I know nothing positive about her husband or hobbies, but I know plenty about how much she can't stand her mother-in-law and how children behave in public these days.
6. Oh, Was That My Job?: Those who don't complete a task or take on a responsibility that is clearly theirs, then feign ignorance that they were supposed to do it. This gets a pass when someone is new as they may genuinely not have known, but when someone has been in the job for a year or more and they are still doing this, you know it's a chronic problem. The minute you bring up that there is an issue, the person will say "oh, I didn't realize I was supposed to do that," yet coincidentally they are somehow indisposed now or working on another top-priority project, so they will need you to do that for them, so sorry about that, darn. These people also sometimes like to claim they have poor memories. "Oh shoot, I just completely forgot!" (even though we discussed it in meetings several times and had reminders on our calendars). These are like the "Can-Don't" people in that they put on a facade of caring and apologies, but you can't help but feel that they are purposely letting the ball drop.
7. I Make Mountains Out Molehills For a Living: Unfortunately the person I know like this is also in the "It's All About Me" category. Even though our office is very supportive of work-life balance and does not encourage overworking ourselves, she will always stay late or work through lunch to finish some very important task that you later come to realize was completely useless and a waste of time. "I just HAVE to update this spreadsheet that no one has cared about in years," or "I really need to re-review this email 20 times before I send it because it's just so important that the fate of the world hinges on it." On the one hand she complains of being overworked and stressed, on the other hand she seems to create work where it doesn't exist.
8. Did You Read My Email That I've Now Made Irrelevant?: People who send an email, and not 30 seconds later are standing in front of you to repeat everything they just put in the email. They usually start blabbering immediately and you have no idea what they're even talking about because you haven't yet read the email. So then you have to read it in front of them. And then they continue to repeat everything in the email in 10 different ways, giving you a multitude of background info you really didn't need or want.
