Kinds of Coworkers

[JeffinOakland]

Workplaces are weird. Completely artificial environments filled with people who did not choose to meet and spend time with each other and, in fact, have to literally be paid to spend time in the same building as each other. What are some kinds or types of coworkers you have noticed in the years you have worked? I mean, the kind that, no matter where you work, there's always one of this kind. For starters: The coworker who works all of 20 hours a week but gets offended when she isn't included in every single conversation, either professional or personal.

 

[Tosk]

The one who does whatever it takes to get out of doing work.

The one who just always has to be right.

 

[Starbreaker]

The one sexist/racist guy who talks about chemtrails and the FEMA death camps.

 

[C.E. Evans]

The ones that always do things half-assed.

The ones that only does the easy stuff and leaves all the hard or unpleasant work for you.

 

[Velocity]

The ones who never contribute to potlucks but are always the first in line to fill their plate.

 

[JeffinOakland]

The hyper PC SJW who monitors and corrects everyone's speech. On the other end of the spectrum: the guy who thinks he's being "politically incorrect" when he's really just an intolerant a-hole.

 

[auntiehill]

The AskHole--he constantly asks for advice and instructions, only to argue that your advice and instructions are wrong; he the proceeds to tell you why and how he's going to ignore those instructions, leaving you to wonder why the hell he asked you in the first place.

 

[JeffinOakland]

The AskHole--he constantly asks for advice and instructions, only to argue that your advice and instructions are wrong; he the proceeds to tell you why and how he's going to ignore those instructions, leaving you to wonder why the hell he asked you in the first place.

Or they don't even pretend to pay attention or get distracted almost immediately.

 

[Random_Spock]

The one who does whatever it takes to get out of doing work.

The one who just always has to be right.

Yep. Dealt with one like that, who was also related to the company. That was a real joy to deal with. They made an excuse for him right from the start too. Pathetic.

 

[Finn]

Folks who aren't qualified for the jobs they have, or even to be in the workplace/department they are in.

 

[sojourner]

The one who does whatever it takes to get out of doing work.

The one who just always has to be right.

In other words, the IT department. And what the IT department thinks of everyone else:

The ones that always do things half-assed.

The ones that only does the easy stuff and leaves all the hard or unpleasant work for you.

 

[C.E. Evans]

In other words, the IT department. And what the IT department thinks of everyone else:

When I worked in retail, you never saw those people, so they didn't really exist--you dealt with the people you did so-called "work with" in the trenches.

 

[FPAlpha]

Sadly i have met most of these stereotypes and some of them are actually in my department.


The Efficiency Expert

Basically a person who's mastered the art of offloading work to others by complaining it's too much that he has to do until a kinder worker takes over some of the workload (or the boss takes pity and reassigns some work)


The Incompetent

No matter how simple or often you explain something they will forget it after a short while, they will miss crucial details and no cheat sheet or detailed procedure explanation will prevent them from still doing it wrong


The Doormat

A Person who has not learned to say no so everybody abuses him/her and pushes undesired tasks into their lap because they will not speak up or deny the "help" request


The I don't care Colleague

People who have given up on getting ahead by investing more effort than is actually needed to perform/keep the job. Either they were always this way with no ambition or they have been overlooked for promotion or any other kind of reward one too many times so they don't bother giving 110%


The Workhorse

People who get it done in the time frame that's allocated (or even faster), basically a pillar of the company. Good companies/bosses notice this and reward it, bad companies/bosses don't and either don't notice the person losing his drive and becoming an I don't care worker or they leave the company to look for a better work environment


The Backstabber

Will do/talk anything behind a coworkers back if it either keeps them from advancing too much or if they think such a behaviour will get them advanced before others


The workplace is just a microcosmos of life in general with the difference that you just can't cut out the undesired elements like you would in your private life so you have to arrange yourself with these elements for these 8 hours a day. Some form true friendships with coworkers, some keep their distance and barely attend any corporate social events like Christmas parties or summer barbecues.

 

[SPCTRE]

PC LOAD LETTER

WTF DOES THAT MEAN

 

[JoeZhang]

there is a variation of this:

The I don't care Colleague

People who have given up on getting ahead by investing more effort than is actually needed to perform/keep the job. Either they were always this way with no ambition or they have been overlooked for promotion or any other kind of reward one too many times so they don't bother giving 110%

I'm the "I don't care but actually people think I do".

I'm top of the payscale and have a lovely life. It makes no sense for me to be any more than competent because it a) does nothing for me and b) I have a lovely life and why would I want to mess that up?

I turn out enough research to be respectable but no more than that. However what pushes me into this category is that I'm indifferent to teaching yet I've won more teaching awards than anyone in the University. It's a bit of a puzzle even to me.

The Incompetent

No matter how simple or often you explain something they will forget it after a short while, they will miss crucial details and no cheat sheet or detailed procedure explanation will prevent them from still doing it wrong

I am also part "The learned incompetent" - I have 'forgotten' many many skills I possess simply because it would result in more boring low-level work. For example, I could build my own website from scratch however amazingly in the workplace even a wordpress based template baffles me.

 

[SPCTRE]

I am also part "The learned incompetent" - I have 'forgotten' many many skills I possess simply because it would result in more boring low-level work. For example, I could build my own website from scratch however amazingly in the workplace even a wordpress based template baffles me.

now that is just being smart

 

[auntiehill]

The Horshack

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(perhaps the opposite of the AskHole)

This might be a type particular to my line of work, but GOD, there's always one. This person is constantly asking questions, making comments, etc...not entirely just to understand but rather to say, "Look at me! I'm participating! Don't you like me? Aren't I a good employee?" They are not particularly good at work but neither are they particularly bad; they just want attention, like that kid in the back of the class who constantly demands the teacher's time. They want constant reassurance and spend so much time seeking it that they aren't productive enough to be considered a solid, reliable staff member.

 

[Ar-Pharazon]

The one who does whatever it takes to get out of doing work.

The one who gets away with doing nothing because the supervisor lets him. That leads into a "kinds of supervisors" discussion.

The group leader I had at my last job was a worthless lump of flesh who did absolutely nothing about anything.

 

[JoeZhang]

We've also missed

The Politician

Would survive a nuclear war, is known by management to be absolutely discreet about dealing with problems and smoothing over issues. Knows the inside track on most things. People just love to tell the politician stuff - they just cannot explain why

(so I'm in three categories so far...)

The martyr

Loves to give their labour away for free, convinced they are the only one doing anything. Makes life hard for everyone else because they give their labour away for free

The mystery

In theory earns the same as you yet seems to have a better lifestyle... hey is that rolex on his wrist?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

The weirdo who I used to work with (back when I worked nights) who, when business was slow, would just get on the store's PA system and start paging people at random. Including people who do not, technically, exist.