"Stop the Presses"--
At
The National Register offices (Chicago), ex-wrestler / photographer Charlie tries to peddle photos to Jack McGee, claiming it can return McGee to front page status. McGee dismisses Charlie's sell job, telling him to pass them off to rival Joe Arnold, which irritates the wrestler. If that was not bad enough, Mr. Roberts--McGee's boss--showers Arnold with praise about a shooting story and a restaurant investigation. Adding insult to injury, the boss tells McGee:
Mr, Roberts: "Jack, the publishers are thinking of killing your weekly "Creature Report." The Hulk hunt is getting too expensive--plane tickets, wrecked cars--"
Jack: "You're talking about the biggest story in newspaper history, and they're worried about a few, cheesy bucks?"
Mr. Roberts: "Oh, cool off, Jack. Look at it from their angle: you haven't come up with anything new for quite awhile--not even with that $10,000 reward to help you!"
Jack: "It's just a matter of time...there was a guy in New Mexico--saw the Hulk not a month ago!"
Mr. Roberts: "Jack--there's an astrologers' convention in town. Get the head fortune-teller's end for an interview."
Jack: "That's cub reporter stuff!"
Mr. Roberts: "You'll do what I say...or go back to freelancing. And you'll drop the Hulk story, until you can bring me something more than an out of focus photo of your green friend."
Dejected, Jack reads the latest Register cover story, about a gorilla subdued by a tranquilizer gun, and his wheels start turning...
Elsewhere, at
Bruno's Restaurant, owners Jill Norton & Karen Weiss discuss a certain new employee; Karen mentions that this employee might be great helping out with the books, but thinks there's more to him than meets the eye:
Karen: "If that man is a diswasher, then I'm Greta Garbo."
The man in question is--of course--David. Karen credits Banner for helping them get their liquor license, etc., while Fred the cook teases David about the ladies' interest in him. Jill reveals she once had a budding career in the newspaper business, but gave that up to run Bruno's. Register reporter Joe Arnold meets Charlie for a trip to Bruno's, which Arnold describes:
Arnold: "The owners are young...and struggling...and female. Zero clout!"
Setting firecrackers in an outside dumpster, Charlie and Arnold use the diversion to send David and Fred away, then plant filthy rags, and other dirty items all over the kitchen, in order to shoot incriminating photos--they do, and catch David's face in one of the images. David and Fred are too late to stop them. Fred explains Arnold's reputation of creating Register stories by setting up restaurant owners as a health risk.
The owners want to go to the Register to expose Arnold, but Fred (having lived through these tactics before), does not see a positive outcome. David is visibly disturbed about his predicament, causing Jill and Karen to speculate about the cause of his concern.
At the Register, Jill & Karen confront Arnold, who blows off threats of legal action. Returning to Bruno's, the women inform David of their failure--including not obtaining the photo. That night, David visits the Register to retrieve the photo (how would he know where to find it, unless Jill gave him some pointers on where photos are stored?), and is nearly exposed as McGee shares the same elevator--and after some now-you-see-him, now-you-don't peeking hi-jinks, David leaves the building.
The next day at the Register offices, Arnold tries to scam (about Bruno's) and threaten Geller, the health department representative, but Geller holds his own:
Geller: "It's just an unofficial warning--but if you write one more line about the health department slacking off, we will have to take action, and I don't buy your 'freedom of the press' routine."
Arnold: "Oh, Geller, there's need for us knocking heads over this thing, we're both after the same thing--the public's welfare. Now, maybe we can figure out a way to make your cooperation work to your advantage."
Geller: "I already have a pension plan, Mr. Arnold."
Arnold: "I mean you and your bossed might enjoy a little national publicity."
Geller: "Nobody in the department wants to be quoted in this rag."
Arnold: "You seen these photos?"
Geller: "A little garbage..moldy cheese. Your readers may not have anything better to worry about, but we do. Come see us when you bust some real offenders. Maggots, cockroaches...real filth.That's when we get involved. Until then, leave us out of it...or you'll see what kind of power the Department of Health does have. good day, Mr. Arnold."
Later, Jill, Karen and Fred leave for the market, while David works in the freezer. Arnold and Charlie sneak in, and dump cockroaches in the sink; David catches them in the act, using Charlie's camera to capture the ill deed, but the men grab David, and manhandle him enough to trigger a Hulk-out. During the kitchen destruction, Arnold retrieves his camera, and gets up close and personal shots of Jack McGee's one and only passion.
At the Register, McGee analyses Arnold and his motives:
McGee: "How do you do it, Arnold?"
Arnold: "Do what? I do my job--it's as simple as that."
McGee: "No...you could be a good reporter. You're smart enough, but you always take the cheap shot."
Arnold: "
Let me tell you something, McGee. There's only a handful of reporters in this country who make big money, and I intend on being one of them."
McGee: "So that's it--go for the bucks."
Arnold: "Yeah!"
McGee: "No matter who it hurts..."
Arnold: "
Right. You want me to do it straight like you do, and end up with nothing?"
McGee: "Well, I sleep good. I shave with my eyes wide open, I have...friends. I feel a little sorry for you, Joe."
Arnold: "Save your sympathy, pal....for yourself."
This exchange is not only fascinating in that it takes a short, but honest look at the oil and water relationship some have with career and ethics, but much of the meaning behind McGee's own words--true as they are--will be used against him (appropriately, by Banner) in the 2-part
"Mystery Man."
While David, Jill and Karen clean up the Hulk's kitchen mess, and lament over Fred quitting, McGee walks in, offering to help the ladies with the Register reward if they can lead him to the Hulk. Karen says they will help--if McGee can retrieve Arnold's photos of the restaurant. McGee shoots this idea down, as the pictures are logged, dated...and its a violation of ethics, which earns a deserved:
Karen: "What would anybody working for the National Register know about ethics?"
McGee:
"Yeah, I understand how you feel."
After McGee leaves, David shows the women photos that were taken only an hour before Arnold's (thanks to a newspaper headline dating the event), showing a completely
clean kitchen. That, plus the logged Register photos should prove innocence, and force a retraction from the paper...if they can get their hands on the photos...
McGee talks to the game warden responsible for tranquilizing the gorilla (from the Register article), learning that the non-lethal dart could bring down a
medium-sized elephant....
Game warden: "After something big?
McGee: "Yeah, you can say that....something big."
That night, Jill, Karen and David return to the register, with Jill wearing a slinky dress to serve as a distraction long enough for David to use a staff phone, pretending to be Register publisher Robert Steinhauer, obviously asking if Jill had arrived. As a result, the security guard gives Jill access to the elevators, while warning her to
"be careful."
In the photo lab, the trio steals all of Arnold's proofs and negatives from the restaurant, but Jill notices the run sheet has been sent to make plates for the next issue. Knowing all hinges on destroying the plates, David--reasoning its easier for one to go / risk getting caught than three, sends Jill & Karen back to restaurant, while he goes to the print shop. David shuts down the power to stop the printing and give himself cover in darkness, as he steals the plate. However, Bad Luck Banner is forced to hide near one of the large plate cylinders, so when power is restored, his hand is pulled in between the crushing press drums, causing an instant Hulk-out...
Unbeknownst to David, McGee was working after hours, familiarizing himself with the tranquilizer rifle, and then speaking to security about the power outage--right as the guard hears the Hulk's roaring rampage. Jack grabs the rifle, and races to the print shop, spots the Hulk, and fires a dart into his leg. The Hulk grabs the rifle, causing it to fire the next dart into McGee's leg; even under the growing influence of the tranquilizer, McGee bravely pursues the fleeing creature, with the Hulk now feeling the effects of the tranquilizer.
As the Hulk transforms back to a groggy Banner, McGee stumbles toward him--face to face, but McGee's drug-induced state blurs his vision. McGee passes out.
Days later, Jill and Karen post a register front page on the wall, the headline reads--
Restaurant Stories Exposed and
National Register Cleans House--by Jack McGee.
We do not have to guess what happened to Arnold and Charlie.
Jill and Karen's restaurant is doing well, thanks to David's help, but he's moved on, this time without giving notice. Jill believes they will never see him again...well, they have a Polaroid..of David's back.
NOTES:
I believe David does not use one of his endless surnames in this episode.
This is a non-cure related episode.
The given names of characters Jill Norton and Karen Weiss were an inside nod to this episode's writers, Jill Sherman and Karen Harris. Harris not only served as writer, but moved up to producing during the series' run. Another inside nod is naming the Register publisher Robert Steinhauer, after
Hulk producer Robert Bennet Steinhauer.
Jill's
"call Pizza People, they deliver" was a play on the real life
Pizza Man delivery restaurant (with the slogan,
"Pizza Man--He Delivers") that was one of the best known pizza restaurants in 1970s California, but to be honest, eating some of their pies was similar to eating salt packets...
I know David has to go where he can find opportunity for work, but to the home city of his arch enemy & his headquarters? That's either reckless, or he's one bold guy.
Jack Colvin's McGee was provided with a number of episodes to make make him more than the plug-in, weekly antagonist. We see his frustration with the lack of support for his Hulk story, with realistic higher-up pressure or judgement. As McGee always says, this is the biggest story of the century, so in an all too rare development for TV villains, some sympathy is generated...but he wears on sympathy from time to time..
GUEST STARS:
Julie Cobb (Jill Norton) is the original
Star Trek's only
female "red shirt" to die. In the season two episode,
"By Any Other Name," Yeoman Leslie Thompson was turned into a mineral cube, then crushed by the Kelvan leader Rojan. Not much screen time, but certainly left an impression as a rare ST victim. Cobb would work with William Shatner for a second time in
"To Kill A Cop," a 1985 episode of
T.J. Hooker.
Cobb's other significant fantasy role came over a decade later, in the CBS miniseries adaptation of
Salem's Lot, (Warner Brothers, 1979) as adulterous wife Bonnie Sawyer, and a part in the TV spinoff of
Starman (
"Fathers and Sons").
Mary Frann (
Karen Weiss) will always be Joanna Loudin from
Newhart (CBS, 1982-1990) in the hearts of TV audiences, but she had a couple of fantasy credits in her pre-Hulk years, including
The Fantastic Journey (
"Funhouse"), and ABC's
Wide World of Mystery in a 1975 alien abduction movie called
Distant Early Warning.
Pat Morita (
Fred) is inseparable from his roles as
Happy Days' Arnold, and
The Karate Kid series' Mr. Miyagi (the first film earned Morita an Academy Award & Golden Globe nomination). Not much fantasy performances in his career, but he did contribute the 1983 real space special
Living and Working in Space: the Countdown Has Begun, and a truly embarrassing, low rent sci-fi film called
Timemaster (1995), also shaming Michael Dorn. Discover it...if you dare.
Sam Chew Jr. (
Joe Arnold) has fantasy roles dating back to two uncredited parts in
Escape from the Planet of the Apes (Fox, 1971) and
Conquest of the Planet of the Apes (Fox, 1972). He began his Kenneth Johnson association with
8 episodes of
The Bionic Woman. In the 80s, his fantasy roles werehit and miss in terms of quality, with parts in
Time Walker (an alien escapes King Tut's tomb and naturally seeks a college to terrorize), and
"Voyagers of the Titanic," a 1983 episode of
Voyagers!