D'oh! Now there's nothing left to like!
TheGodBen Revisits Star Trek
- Thread starter TheGodBen
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I think Vaal also eats the exploding rocks. Doesn't it?
The children of Vaal were lost Kazon maybe.
No question they are in for a really bad time. Infant mortality and mother death in childbirth here we come! Seriously McCoy at least should say some damn thing about this. Lovin' the Hippocratic oath upholding action here.
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Not to mention AIDS, gonorrhea and a whole slew of other venereal diseases. Well done, guys!
That's the way it is now, but the British government are going to randomly switch things up over the centuries just to annoy me. Like that time I thought I was buying 2 litres of milk but it was actually 4 pints of milk, and I was like "what am I going to do with all this extra milk?" I had to have slightly milky tea. It ruined my day.If it was Britain it would be long distances in miles, short distances in metres and temperature in Celsius.
He's going to build a wall and make the 1% pay for it?You mean this guy?
In some ways, that makes more sense. But then I realised that rocks don't grow, so the tribespeople would have to spread out further and further to find them. Unless the rocks actually do grow, in which case they're some form of plant, and then we're back to the vegetarian computer silliness.
Mirror, Mirror (****½)
After a transporter accident, Kirk, McCoy, Scotty, and Uhura find themselves in a nightmarish parallel universe where people trust one another and work together toward mutual goals. Also, the women cover their midriffs. How could anyone stand to live in such a pathetic universe? Anyway, not realising what has happened, Kirk goes to the bridge and orders the destruction of the worthless Halkans, at which point Spock mutinies and locks our four heroes in the brig. I love a good mutiny story, you know how much I enjoyed The Friendship Machine, the episode where Kirk mutinies against Commodore Decker of the ISS Consternation and flings his ship into the friendly extra-galactic probe, destroying them both. But the mutiny in this episode doesn't make sense to me. Spock doesn't mutiny so he can acquire wealth or power, he mutinies to save lives.
Thankfully, beardless Spock is unaware that Scotty has a robotic arm, which he received after his own arm was cut off by one of his murder victims in Sheep in the Fold. They use its circuitry to disable the forcefield and make their way to sickbay so that McCoy can concoct some deadly poisons. Once there, they are confronted by nurse Chapel, but Uhura uses her lesbian seduction techniques and brings Chapel back to her quarters. Meanwhile, Kirk makes his way to his own quarters in the hope of finding his Tantalus field device, but all he finds in the secret compartment is some dirty magazines and a Beastie Boys album.
The four meet up again at auxiliary control and seize control of the ship's weapons, firing torpedoes indiscriminately at the planet's surface. They set the auto-destruct sequence and try to escape to a shuttle, but they are stopped by beardless Spock before they can get there. He explains about the accident that led to our heroes being transported to this mirror universe and offers to send them back in return for Kirk ending the destruct sequence. Wishing to leave this pansy universe and return to his own, where he has a much more comfortable captain's chair, Kirk agrees. Spock escorts them to the transporter room, but before he leaves Kirk tries to convince Spock to save this universe from itself.
This is a classic episode, one that shows us the sort of horrifying future we will face if America doesn't vote for Trump this November. The sex scene involving Uhura and mirror Chapel was just gratuitous enough, and the scene where Scotty crushes that guy's skull with his robot hand is exactly the reason why I watch Star Trek. Unfortunately, this is also the final great episode of the series. Whatever it was that happened in our universe while Kirk and co were gone, it completely changed the character of Spock for the worse. The way in which he comes to champion the cause of peaceful cooperation was a jump the shark moment for the franchise. Star Trek is supposed to be about enslaving new worlds and spreading fear throughout the galaxy, it's a shame that the writers lost touch with that in their attempts to be controversial.
Gratuitous Lesbian Scenes: 28
After a transporter accident, Kirk, McCoy, Scotty, and Uhura find themselves in a nightmarish parallel universe where people trust one another and work together toward mutual goals. Also, the women cover their midriffs. How could anyone stand to live in such a pathetic universe? Anyway, not realising what has happened, Kirk goes to the bridge and orders the destruction of the worthless Halkans, at which point Spock mutinies and locks our four heroes in the brig. I love a good mutiny story, you know how much I enjoyed The Friendship Machine, the episode where Kirk mutinies against Commodore Decker of the ISS Consternation and flings his ship into the friendly extra-galactic probe, destroying them both. But the mutiny in this episode doesn't make sense to me. Spock doesn't mutiny so he can acquire wealth or power, he mutinies to save lives.
Thankfully, beardless Spock is unaware that Scotty has a robotic arm, which he received after his own arm was cut off by one of his murder victims in Sheep in the Fold. They use its circuitry to disable the forcefield and make their way to sickbay so that McCoy can concoct some deadly poisons. Once there, they are confronted by nurse Chapel, but Uhura uses her lesbian seduction techniques and brings Chapel back to her quarters. Meanwhile, Kirk makes his way to his own quarters in the hope of finding his Tantalus field device, but all he finds in the secret compartment is some dirty magazines and a Beastie Boys album.
The four meet up again at auxiliary control and seize control of the ship's weapons, firing torpedoes indiscriminately at the planet's surface. They set the auto-destruct sequence and try to escape to a shuttle, but they are stopped by beardless Spock before they can get there. He explains about the accident that led to our heroes being transported to this mirror universe and offers to send them back in return for Kirk ending the destruct sequence. Wishing to leave this pansy universe and return to his own, where he has a much more comfortable captain's chair, Kirk agrees. Spock escorts them to the transporter room, but before he leaves Kirk tries to convince Spock to save this universe from itself.
KIRK: I submit to you that your Federation is illogical because it cannot endure. I submit that you are illogical to be a willing part of it. Be the captain of this Enterprise, Mister Spock. Find a logical reason for eradicating the Halkans and make it stick. Push till it gives. In my cabin... is an album that will make you want to do reckless things.
SPOCK: Indeed?
KIRK: What will it be? Future or past? Freedom or Tyranny? It's up to you. In every coup, there's one man with a vision.
SPOCK: Captain Kirk, please be quiet.
SPOCK: Indeed?
KIRK: What will it be? Future or past? Freedom or Tyranny? It's up to you. In every coup, there's one man with a vision.
SPOCK: Captain Kirk, please be quiet.
This is a classic episode, one that shows us the sort of horrifying future we will face if America doesn't vote for Trump this November. The sex scene involving Uhura and mirror Chapel was just gratuitous enough, and the scene where Scotty crushes that guy's skull with his robot hand is exactly the reason why I watch Star Trek. Unfortunately, this is also the final great episode of the series. Whatever it was that happened in our universe while Kirk and co were gone, it completely changed the character of Spock for the worse. The way in which he comes to champion the cause of peaceful cooperation was a jump the shark moment for the franchise. Star Trek is supposed to be about enslaving new worlds and spreading fear throughout the galaxy, it's a shame that the writers lost touch with that in their attempts to be controversial.
Gratuitous Lesbian Scenes: 28
Before anyone complains that I did this joke already in the Enterprise thread, it's April 1st, so just give me this one.
Maybe it's Australia. Hey, that would mean that the Federation in STAR TREK is the same as the one in Bertram Chandler's John Grimes stories.
Yes, very funny.
Can anyone question why this man's contributions to the review world of, hell anything he wants to review, are so eagerly anticipated and sought!!!!
I wouldn't put it past him. He wants the 1% to pay for everything else. And while Trump might build a wall to keep people out, Sanders honestly strikes me as the kind of guy who would build a wall to keep people in.
This scene wasn't in my copy of the episode and I demand to know why!!
I know, right? But for some reason they refused me access to the press screening of Into Darkness. That's why I chose to wait two years for it to show up on Netflix before watching it, at which point I understood why they didn't want me to review it.
Can anyone question why this man's contributions to the review world of, hell anything he wants to review, are so eagerly anticipated and sought!!!!
There's nothing more feminist than a gratuitous lesbian sex scene. It's just two (or three or eight) women bonding and having fun without the presence of a man, what could be more empowering than that?
You have to pay for the mirror universe package from your cable provider. It's pricey, but you'll get to watch great shows such as Breaking Good, The East Wing, and The Contraltos.
Mirror, Mirror (****½)
For real this time.
I have mixed feelings about the mirror universe. I suppose the first mirror episode I would have seen was DS9’s Crossover, which I thought was really good. It took place in a twisted alternate reality where humans are slaves, and our heroes had to navigate the dangers of that reality and find some way to escape. Sadly, DS9’s subsequent visits to the mirror universe became more cartoony, they lost the dark edge in favour of some action-adventure fun, and that storyline suffered the final indignity of being wrapped up in a Ferengi comedy episode. Enterprise’s mirror episodes adopted the same cartoony style, and were only rescued (in my opinion) by the presence of the USS Defiant.
Now, finally, I reach the origin of the mirror universe, and I feel it’s easily the best episode set there. Like Crossover, it plays it more or less straight. Yes, there’s cartoonish levels of villainy on display by the mirror characters, but the peril faced by “our” characters keeps the story grounded. It’s also a good ensemble episode for the whole cast. Uhura and Scotty are invaluable to the story and the escape attempt, while mirror Sulu and Chekov are used well as antagonists. Also, mirror Spock looks badass with that beard. He just does.
The worst thing about the episode is that we only get to see half the mirror cast. There’s plenty of mirror Spock and Sulu, some of mirror Chekov, a scene with mirror Kirk, but we don’t really get to see anything of mirror McCoy, Scotty, or Uhura. That’s part of the reason why I wrote that fake review, because it was fun imagining cyborg Scotty and lesbian seductress Uhura (because most women in the mirror universe are lesbians, apparently). And I bet mirror McCoy would have been a great villain, just imagine that man using his medical knowledge to torture people. It’s a shame that TOS didn’t get a chance to revisit the mirror universe at some point, just so that we could have seen evil versions of all the cast.
James T Flirt: 7½
Inform the Men: 0
Spock's beard and Uhura's midriff are my favorite parts of the episode.
Someone should use those names for TrekBBS.
"Mirror, Mirror" is easily one of the very best of TOS. 10/10 for me.
I like imagine that Mirror Chekov is being forced to watch the Abrams movies while in the booth.
I like imagine that Mirror Chekov is being forced to watch the Abrams movies while in the booth.
The Deadly Years (*½)
There’s a comet that emits an unusual form of radiation that causes people to age rapidly. Now I’m not one of them fancy scientist types, but that seems unlikely to me. Regardless, it results in Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Scotty, and Lt Galway to age at an accelerated pace, and if they don’t find a cure in a matter of days they will all die. Well, Lt Galway actually does die, but nobody cares about her. Chekov is the only member of the away team not afflicted with rapid ageing, apparently because he’s a sissy who has never seen a dead body before.
For the most part, this is your standard Trek mystery disease episode, but it take a curious detour in the middle with Kirk’s competency hearing. Old age is making him senile and he’s clearly no longer fit for command, so we have to sit through a courtroom scene where characters rehash events we’ve already witnessed. I don’t like the way Kirk comes across here, he refuses to do the honourable thing and stand aside for the good of the ship. It’s believable in a way, embarrassment about the negative aspects of growing old can cause some people to reject help and cling on to what authority they hold. But this is far from Kirk’s finest hour, he displays a pettiness and paranoia unbecoming of a Starfleet captain.
Still, he’s better than Commodore Stocker, the man who decides to take a short-cut through the neutral zone at warp 5 rather than take a slight detour at warp 6, thus getting the Enterprise surrounded by a small fleet of hostile Romulan ships. Thankfully, Kirk saves the day by pulling the old corbomite manoeuvre again. Or maybe it was just some lingering senility causing him to repeat an old trick, who can say? What we can say is that the magic adrenaline-based serum not only stopped the rapid ageing process, it also undid about 60 years worth of ageing. Now I’m not one of them fancy doctor types, but that seems unlikely to me. Maybe if they inject it into the corpse of Lt Galway it would bring her back to life? Nah, nobody cares about her.
There’s a comet that emits an unusual form of radiation that causes people to age rapidly. Now I’m not one of them fancy scientist types, but that seems unlikely to me. Regardless, it results in Kirk, Spock, McCoy, Scotty, and Lt Galway to age at an accelerated pace, and if they don’t find a cure in a matter of days they will all die. Well, Lt Galway actually does die, but nobody cares about her. Chekov is the only member of the away team not afflicted with rapid ageing, apparently because he’s a sissy who has never seen a dead body before.
For the most part, this is your standard Trek mystery disease episode, but it take a curious detour in the middle with Kirk’s competency hearing. Old age is making him senile and he’s clearly no longer fit for command, so we have to sit through a courtroom scene where characters rehash events we’ve already witnessed. I don’t like the way Kirk comes across here, he refuses to do the honourable thing and stand aside for the good of the ship. It’s believable in a way, embarrassment about the negative aspects of growing old can cause some people to reject help and cling on to what authority they hold. But this is far from Kirk’s finest hour, he displays a pettiness and paranoia unbecoming of a Starfleet captain.
Still, he’s better than Commodore Stocker, the man who decides to take a short-cut through the neutral zone at warp 5 rather than take a slight detour at warp 6, thus getting the Enterprise surrounded by a small fleet of hostile Romulan ships. Thankfully, Kirk saves the day by pulling the old corbomite manoeuvre again. Or maybe it was just some lingering senility causing him to repeat an old trick, who can say? What we can say is that the magic adrenaline-based serum not only stopped the rapid ageing process, it also undid about 60 years worth of ageing. Now I’m not one of them fancy doctor types, but that seems unlikely to me. Maybe if they inject it into the corpse of Lt Galway it would bring her back to life? Nah, nobody cares about her.
Yeah, the part about Chekov being scared shitless just because he saw a corpse (even if he did sort of stumble on it in the dark) always seemed contrived. Chekov is young but he's already an experienced officer. Surely he's seen a few dead people by now.
And it's a LANDING PARTY, not an "away team," dammit!
It does seem unlikely to be able to reverse the aging that has already occurred. If you can reverse aging like that, why not do that for everyone? Imagine no one getting any older because aging has been cured.
My pet peeve has always been that if you were suddenly aged, your hair wouldn't just suddenly be grey, it would have to grow grey. And if you suddenlty got turned young again, your hair would have to grow back its natural color. Oh, well, it's tv.
My pet peeve has always been that if you were suddenly aged, your hair wouldn't just suddenly be grey, it would have to grow grey. And if you suddenlty got turned young again, your hair would have to grow back its natural color. Oh, well, it's tv.
I thought "The Deadly Years" was a rather average outing for TOS. 5/10 for me.
You're right about Kirk though. It does seem really petty of him not to step aside. It's even more glaring when you watch the show in airdate order instead of production order. Just two episodes prior, "Journey to Babel" Kirk is more than willing to hand command over to Scotty in order to get Spock to give a blood donation to Sarek. In fact, he's the one who comes up with the idea. But now, he's suddenly absolutely adamant about retaining command at all costs?
And why are you so surprised about Lt. Galway's death? She's a redshirt - well, okay, a blueshirt, but you know what I mean. Nobody hardly ever gives a fuck about their deaths. The way they die off I'm surprised Kirk doesn't consider it part of his morning toilet to dispose of one. But, it actually is kind of unique that she's a female redshirt death. How often are women killed off like this compared to men?
You're right about Kirk though. It does seem really petty of him not to step aside. It's even more glaring when you watch the show in airdate order instead of production order. Just two episodes prior, "Journey to Babel" Kirk is more than willing to hand command over to Scotty in order to get Spock to give a blood donation to Sarek. In fact, he's the one who comes up with the idea. But now, he's suddenly absolutely adamant about retaining command at all costs?
And why are you so surprised about Lt. Galway's death? She's a redshirt - well, okay, a blueshirt, but you know what I mean. Nobody hardly ever gives a fuck about their deaths. The way they die off I'm surprised Kirk doesn't consider it part of his morning toilet to dispose of one. But, it actually is kind of unique that she's a female redshirt death. How often are women killed off like this compared to men?
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