Depression/Suicide (This May Get Very Personal)
- Thread starter Brie
- Start date
I've generally felt down lately and can't totally pin a cause on it. But I know there's stuff in the background that's adding up. My grandfather is slowly but surely deteriorating, my mother's issues continue, and I worry about my dad. I don't see my nieces much anymore and every time I ask for time with them lately, my sister-in-law says they have plans or if they didn't, plans get changed and I don't see them. And this past weekend, I'd had a babysitting job that I had repeatedly told Dad about and the night before, he and my brother made plans for a family dinner! It was too late for me to just cancel the job.
My birthday is coming up Monday and I'll be at work where I am glad to be. I'll have my class around me and a co-worker that I think is pretty awesome, but... I want my family too...
My birthday is coming up Monday and I'll be at work where I am glad to be. I'll have my class around me and a co-worker that I think is pretty awesome, but... I want my family too...
Glad if I made you smile, Foxhot.
I'm feeling a little better after screaming in my car. Not great, but immediate danger has passed. I drove around today and intended to take my car in for emissions testing. Something which I can't elaborate on went wrong, I texted Dad and he asked why I waited to take the car to the emissions place. I had been told to wait on something and I got a couple of good screams out in the car. Then I came home, planted some plants I'd gotten from my students and have done some jewelry cleaning. I feel calmer and tomorrow, with any luck, I get the emissions test done and a necessary med check by my doctor done as well.
I'm feeling a little better after screaming in my car. Not great, but immediate danger has passed. I drove around today and intended to take my car in for emissions testing. Something which I can't elaborate on went wrong, I texted Dad and he asked why I waited to take the car to the emissions place. I had been told to wait on something and I got a couple of good screams out in the car. Then I came home, planted some plants I'd gotten from my students and have done some jewelry cleaning. I feel calmer and tomorrow, with any luck, I get the emissions test done and a necessary med check by my doctor done as well.
I feel down because I just feel lonely and I just don't relate to people in my life. I am working hard but getting no where. 
Peach
I hope this Post is not unwelcomed!
We teachers have a bigger chance of struggling with negative thoughts and more "clinical" occurrences of depression.* I have realized, in part, that it is because we are "Givers|" We give; to our students, our parents, our colleagues, our community, and to many, many other people and groups. Our families and loved ones sometimes miss this, and we often come back to our "other world" (outside the safe, creative, "make-us-feel-valuable" classroom) spent and brain-tired. We miss the feel and security of the classroom and the kids and the school. We matter there.
Ask your close fellow teachers about this. You will be amazed at the commonality. Just recognizing it and talking about it can be very therapeutic, and it can help. Not to say you should rule out the medical community, if that is where you think things should head, but, consider the above words, and see if they help.
For what it is worth...
*https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...eacher-gets-depressed-a-real-story-in-comics/
(A more whimsical reference of a large number of sources.)
I hope this Post is not unwelcomed!
We teachers have a bigger chance of struggling with negative thoughts and more "clinical" occurrences of depression.* I have realized, in part, that it is because we are "Givers|" We give; to our students, our parents, our colleagues, our community, and to many, many other people and groups. Our families and loved ones sometimes miss this, and we often come back to our "other world" (outside the safe, creative, "make-us-feel-valuable" classroom) spent and brain-tired. We miss the feel and security of the classroom and the kids and the school. We matter there.
Ask your close fellow teachers about this. You will be amazed at the commonality. Just recognizing it and talking about it can be very therapeutic, and it can help. Not to say you should rule out the medical community, if that is where you think things should head, but, consider the above words, and see if they help.
For what it is worth...
*https://www.washingtonpost.com/news...eacher-gets-depressed-a-real-story-in-comics/
(A more whimsical reference of a large number of sources.)
I feel down because I just feel lonely and I just don't relate to people in my life. I am working hard but getting no where.
You are loved and valued, and you relate far more than you seem to know...
Thanks, Hijol. That honestly doesn't surprise me. I come from a line of teachers and pastors. I do talk to my co-teacher now and it does help. I've been able to work through some things. But the last few weeks... It's something I haven't quite been able to hold off. I feel better tonight, but what I've been feeling... it's been very strong.
Then you keep looking in the places that make you feel strong. But, Peach, there is a fine line between turning away from something negative and strong, and facing it with appropriate bravery. Don't be afraid to explore this latest, with needed support. Maybe you will find answers there. Good Luck, and stay, weaved among the BBS Threads. There are all kinds of fine lines here! 
I am going through a bout of post diagnosis depression.
My mother and two brothers were Type 2 diabetics. I'm part Native American. The odds were not in my favor. Ten years ago I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes and did my damndest to fight it off and I did for a long time.
My one brother did not take care of himself and had to have surgery on his eyes, nearly lost his foot, his kidneys failed and he finally had a heart attack.
Last month I had a blood test and my A1c levels were three points over the limit. Even though I KNEW it was going to happen eventually it was still a blow when it finally did. I feel like I somehow failed but the Doctor told me I had no control over when and how my insulin finally decided to stop working correctly.
I have lived a fairly disciplined life up until now but now it's going to become even more structured. Constant finger pricking doesn't seem like a big deal but sometimes you don't get enough blood to come out, the machine reads an error or shuts off at the wrong time...and you wind up with purple fingers from so many pricks and then you feel guilty when the numbers are too high and you have no idea why. I can't 'NOT' exercise anymore. No more 'I'll do it tomorrow." Food was already under control but I would still splurge once in a while...no more.
I keep having what I assume is PTS as I remember driving my brother to dialysis...dread. Anxiety.
Doctor was very understanding. Gave me some Xanax to help me through this 'transition' time.
I do have the example of my other brother. He takes good care of himself and so far has had very few complications from the disease.
This should be temporary as I adjust to the new normal but for right now....it sucks.
My mother and two brothers were Type 2 diabetics. I'm part Native American. The odds were not in my favor. Ten years ago I was diagnosed with pre-diabetes and did my damndest to fight it off and I did for a long time.
My one brother did not take care of himself and had to have surgery on his eyes, nearly lost his foot, his kidneys failed and he finally had a heart attack.
Last month I had a blood test and my A1c levels were three points over the limit. Even though I KNEW it was going to happen eventually it was still a blow when it finally did. I feel like I somehow failed but the Doctor told me I had no control over when and how my insulin finally decided to stop working correctly.
I have lived a fairly disciplined life up until now but now it's going to become even more structured. Constant finger pricking doesn't seem like a big deal but sometimes you don't get enough blood to come out, the machine reads an error or shuts off at the wrong time...and you wind up with purple fingers from so many pricks and then you feel guilty when the numbers are too high and you have no idea why. I can't 'NOT' exercise anymore. No more 'I'll do it tomorrow." Food was already under control but I would still splurge once in a while...no more.
I keep having what I assume is PTS as I remember driving my brother to dialysis...dread. Anxiety.
Doctor was very understanding. Gave me some Xanax to help me through this 'transition' time.
I do have the example of my other brother. He takes good care of himself and so far has had very few complications from the disease.
This should be temporary as I adjust to the new normal but for right now....it sucks.
stardream, you're facing it and doing what you must. And I can recommend using your forearm for pricks if it's possible with your reader. We do that with my mom.
Do you ever feel so alone in a crowd full of people? That's how I feel about 80% of the time. My life is a walking, talking tragedy and I don't like talking about it much because it bogs others down. So I put a smile on my face and keep going. But I think I'll tell you guys a little bit of myself. First of all, this is my first time back to the TBBS is about 3 years. But I decided to come back here and stumbled onto this little thread. And I don't feel so alone as much.
Let me tell you guys some stuff about my life. I won't tell you EVERYTHING because there is some stuff that's too personal and I don't wish to get into it at this time. But I'll tell you about my past. When I was in the 3rd grade, I had a teacher basically call me worthless IN FRONT OF HER ENTIRE CLASS because I couldn't read or do reading comprehension the way the other students could. She pulled me AND another boy out of her class and FORCED us to red the book Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh every single night and answer questions 6-12 questions. If we didn't get a question right( they ALL had to be right) she would whack us with a ruler on our hand! So I got a tutor to help me and thank God because she helped me tremendously in that department. But the teacher still made me feel like a worthless sack of shit on a daily basis. She was known to abuse kids and ended up losing her teaching license three years later because of an incident.
When I was in middle school, I was bullied by countless numbers of kids. Once by the popular kids for copying off of one of their friends(which I wasn't!). They shunned me and I could no longer sit and eat with them at lunch anymore because of it. So I was alone. And the peers I DID eat lunch with made fun of me as well and called me string bean or green bean because I was so skinny back then. This incident happened in the 5th grade. Then in middle school I was bullied by two girls-one claiming to be my best friend(even though she wasn't) and one who was her accomplice. Anyway, she pushed me up against the lockers, made me feel worthless, and demanded I buy her some markers, a board and a lock. Well I didn't wish to do it but she told me if I didn't something that I didn't know about(something bad) was gonna happen to me on Wednesday. I came home guys and lied to my Mom(because I was scared for my life-stupid I know!) telling her I needed markers. Well she knew something was up so she sat me down and asked me what was going on. So I told her. She immediately called my homeroom teacher who loved me to bits and my band room teacher because she bullied me in band class as well and we had a meeting the next morning. Let me say everything went well for me..and bad for her. So I was taken out of public school and put into a private school. And it seemed to work-for a while. But then I was sent to a baptist school and the principal there told my mother IN FRONT OF OTHER KIDS' MOTHERS that I wasn't college material and wouldn't amount to a hill of beans. I was in the 8th grade at the time. I felt so alone then.
But the principal was wrong! Even though I now have a college degree, I'm a 35 yr old who is in between jobs and basically poor. Right now I feel more worthless than I did as a child and more alone than I've ever felt before. My friends are all busy with their own lives while I'm stuck in time trying to find out where my path lies. Most of my friends are married, having children, have children or in a relationship. I'm 35 yrs old and have never had a relationship with a guy...ever. I'm no close to having children or getting married..and I long for both of those thugs more than anything. Moms always encouraged me to find someone. But every time I try to move forward, I take two steps back..and think back to all the times when I was bullied. It's stayed with me for that long. Since then, I don't trust anybody and would prefer to be alone most of the time...even though I do long for companionship and romance.
I've also recently dealt with several devastating losses. Last April, I tragically lost my mother to both lung cancer and a heart attack which threw up blood clots all over her body. She could barely walk or bathe herself. I was surprised she survived as long as she did. I miss her so much everyday and am just now realizing she's gone. And it hurts me to the core. Honestly I haven't really dealt with her death until now. It's just now sinking in. Then, in December of this past year my beloved dog Maggie who I've had for literally 16 years, died from a brain tumor. We had to make the devastating decision to put her to sleep. She also could barely move or walk. Then in January of this year, Dad lost his best friend Jim to complications from cancer. He had gotten so bad that Dad had to help him with daily things. So it's been a difficult year or two years. So yeah, you guys could say I'm depressed. The only pleasure I get out of life sometimes is coming home after a long day and watching my favorite TV programs. But sadly one of my favorites is leaving a show I watch on Tuesday after 13 years being a beloved character(and yes it's the guy on my avatar by the way) and I'm also devastated by that. It's been so difficult for me. But I try to keep going for Dad. He's also dealing with the losses and has been with Mom's loss more than anything. I keep thinking I see her. I know she's with me! I can hear her tell me to clean my room or clean a cat box right now. Some days I'm ok. Others I feel like utter shit. And today was the worst day imaginable because now we are dealing with car troubles. Ugh. I feel snake bit sometimes! But I do try to keep in touch with friends and family. Moms side of the family keep to themselves so I hardly ever make contact with them. But I may try to reconnect with them at a later date if they would allow it. They are very set in their ways and I don't wish to interfere...long story I don't wish to go into.
Like I said, the only pleasure I get is watching my favorite TV shows which are NCIS, and Star Trek of course. And not so good pleasures which is good and alchohol sometimes(not all the time). I have to take sleeping pills at night to shut my brain up because it's constantly moving with negative thoughts. I'm trying to wean off of them but it's hard sometimes. I try to help others in every way I know how so maybe I do SOMETHING right. But losses are the worst-especially of its a loved one. I have never experienced death before Mom and it's the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. It hardly ever goes away for me and the cloud is constantly hanging overhead. Some days are better than others though. This June, things will change at the workplace for me so I'll be doing some soul searching and possibly moving as well so it's the one thing I've wanted more than anything-to have a life of my own-regardless if it's volunteering at a local animal shelter or doing hair for a living. I'll keep you posted on that.
Let me tell you guys some stuff about my life. I won't tell you EVERYTHING because there is some stuff that's too personal and I don't wish to get into it at this time. But I'll tell you about my past. When I was in the 3rd grade, I had a teacher basically call me worthless IN FRONT OF HER ENTIRE CLASS because I couldn't read or do reading comprehension the way the other students could. She pulled me AND another boy out of her class and FORCED us to red the book Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of Nimh every single night and answer questions 6-12 questions. If we didn't get a question right( they ALL had to be right) she would whack us with a ruler on our hand! So I got a tutor to help me and thank God because she helped me tremendously in that department. But the teacher still made me feel like a worthless sack of shit on a daily basis. She was known to abuse kids and ended up losing her teaching license three years later because of an incident.
When I was in middle school, I was bullied by countless numbers of kids. Once by the popular kids for copying off of one of their friends(which I wasn't!). They shunned me and I could no longer sit and eat with them at lunch anymore because of it. So I was alone. And the peers I DID eat lunch with made fun of me as well and called me string bean or green bean because I was so skinny back then. This incident happened in the 5th grade. Then in middle school I was bullied by two girls-one claiming to be my best friend(even though she wasn't) and one who was her accomplice. Anyway, she pushed me up against the lockers, made me feel worthless, and demanded I buy her some markers, a board and a lock. Well I didn't wish to do it but she told me if I didn't something that I didn't know about(something bad) was gonna happen to me on Wednesday. I came home guys and lied to my Mom(because I was scared for my life-stupid I know!) telling her I needed markers. Well she knew something was up so she sat me down and asked me what was going on. So I told her. She immediately called my homeroom teacher who loved me to bits and my band room teacher because she bullied me in band class as well and we had a meeting the next morning. Let me say everything went well for me..and bad for her. So I was taken out of public school and put into a private school. And it seemed to work-for a while. But then I was sent to a baptist school and the principal there told my mother IN FRONT OF OTHER KIDS' MOTHERS that I wasn't college material and wouldn't amount to a hill of beans. I was in the 8th grade at the time. I felt so alone then.
But the principal was wrong! Even though I now have a college degree, I'm a 35 yr old who is in between jobs and basically poor. Right now I feel more worthless than I did as a child and more alone than I've ever felt before. My friends are all busy with their own lives while I'm stuck in time trying to find out where my path lies. Most of my friends are married, having children, have children or in a relationship. I'm 35 yrs old and have never had a relationship with a guy...ever. I'm no close to having children or getting married..and I long for both of those thugs more than anything. Moms always encouraged me to find someone. But every time I try to move forward, I take two steps back..and think back to all the times when I was bullied. It's stayed with me for that long. Since then, I don't trust anybody and would prefer to be alone most of the time...even though I do long for companionship and romance.
I've also recently dealt with several devastating losses. Last April, I tragically lost my mother to both lung cancer and a heart attack which threw up blood clots all over her body. She could barely walk or bathe herself. I was surprised she survived as long as she did. I miss her so much everyday and am just now realizing she's gone. And it hurts me to the core. Honestly I haven't really dealt with her death until now. It's just now sinking in. Then, in December of this past year my beloved dog Maggie who I've had for literally 16 years, died from a brain tumor. We had to make the devastating decision to put her to sleep. She also could barely move or walk. Then in January of this year, Dad lost his best friend Jim to complications from cancer. He had gotten so bad that Dad had to help him with daily things. So it's been a difficult year or two years. So yeah, you guys could say I'm depressed. The only pleasure I get out of life sometimes is coming home after a long day and watching my favorite TV programs. But sadly one of my favorites is leaving a show I watch on Tuesday after 13 years being a beloved character(and yes it's the guy on my avatar by the way) and I'm also devastated by that. It's been so difficult for me. But I try to keep going for Dad. He's also dealing with the losses and has been with Mom's loss more than anything. I keep thinking I see her. I know she's with me! I can hear her tell me to clean my room or clean a cat box right now. Some days I'm ok. Others I feel like utter shit. And today was the worst day imaginable because now we are dealing with car troubles. Ugh. I feel snake bit sometimes! But I do try to keep in touch with friends and family. Moms side of the family keep to themselves so I hardly ever make contact with them. But I may try to reconnect with them at a later date if they would allow it. They are very set in their ways and I don't wish to interfere...long story I don't wish to go into.
Like I said, the only pleasure I get is watching my favorite TV shows which are NCIS, and Star Trek of course. And not so good pleasures which is good and alchohol sometimes(not all the time). I have to take sleeping pills at night to shut my brain up because it's constantly moving with negative thoughts. I'm trying to wean off of them but it's hard sometimes. I try to help others in every way I know how so maybe I do SOMETHING right. But losses are the worst-especially of its a loved one. I have never experienced death before Mom and it's the worst pain I've ever felt in my life. It hardly ever goes away for me and the cloud is constantly hanging overhead. Some days are better than others though. This June, things will change at the workplace for me so I'll be doing some soul searching and possibly moving as well so it's the one thing I've wanted more than anything-to have a life of my own-regardless if it's volunteering at a local animal shelter or doing hair for a living. I'll keep you posted on that.
Oh I hear that loud and clear! I'm also an introvert and don't like vocalizing my problems as I feel my problems aren't as important as other people's problems. Glad to know I'm not the only listener! My father and I are opposite in the way we handle certain situations. Where I internalize a loss or something that bothers me, Dad just lets it all out. And he does it in destructive ways. One incident happened a few months ago over a fan breaking. He got mad because a fan broke so he literally THREW his lamp across the room and broke it into a million pieces. I couldn't believe his reaction-it was irrational! But if I ask why he gets defensive and tells me to leave him alone and let me vent. That hurt me to the core. I said: fine you want me to leave you alone then I'll go to my room and stay in there the rest of the night. You won't have to see me until tomorrow. I went to my room, turned off the TV, and cried myself to sleep the rest of the night. It was awful. And I thought: well maybe if I were to die he'd be happier and wouldn't throw fits as often? That was the first thought I've ever had about ending my life...ever. But I stopped that thought because I felt I was being selfish in thinking that. I've never actually forgiven my father for that incident. All he cares about are HIS feelings HIS problems. He hardly ever asks me about MINE. He sometimes treats me as an employee more than a daughter and I constantly have to do stupid things for him like bringing him a drink or cutting skin off his hand after a terrible slice(I know weird).
Anyway...even my Dad can be a real jerk sometimes but I try to keep gojng. So while you have self absorbed friends I have a self absorbed father who only cares about himself and what HE is feeling at the time...he's right, YOU'RE wrong. That's just always been his motto.
Anyway...even my Dad can be a real jerk sometimes but I try to keep gojng. So while you have self absorbed friends I have a self absorbed father who only cares about himself and what HE is feeling at the time...he's right, YOU'RE wrong. That's just always been his motto.
that!I also rarely if ever vocalize my problems. Some of this comes from being an introvert and having had very self absorbed parents, and later in life a tendency to have friends who were also very self absorbed and for whom the whole friendship was about them telling me about their problems. I just got used to there being no real venue for talking about myself, my role was the listener, and so that's normal for me. I feel very weird if I verbalize things to friends now and, because of my tendency to pick self absorbed friends, it hasn't worked when I've done it
teacake: "this terrible thing has happened"
old friend: "OMG! THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO ME, REMEMBER, 15 YEARS AGO?!"
Of course I remember, you have been talking about it for that entire time and that's why I told you about what happened.. but the whole conversation is now only about your event 15 years ago.
That's not even an exaggeration, that actually occurred word for word.
Anyway, I digress, I have made an anecdote out of some of that shit because what are ya gonna do.
Tell your family about your medical problems, verbalize verbalize verbalize. But don't tell them about anything they can hurt you with, any emotional things that you think might get twisted or misunderstood. People find it easier to hear about actual physical difficulties anyway.
{{{{{Peach}}}}}, happy belated birthday and 365 happy un-birthdays to you!!!
stardream, this sounds extremely crazy but do you like rolled oats / oatflakes? They lower and level your blood sugar levels a good deal. My dad has type 2 Diabetes and ever since he eats his homemade muesli for breakfast he doesn't need any medication anymore =) It might be worth a try. Btw, with 5 type2 diabetics in my family I'm pretty much in your situation (just a matter of time till I get it), but as you and me are forewarned and know about the risks, we also know how to avoid them and not copy our family's mistakes. So, don't give in to despair that easily. People can get older than 90 with type 2. Let's see who of us can set a new record!
Freak, welcome back!
Forget your dad and his opinions, he's just your typical egomaniac. And most important of all: don't believe his behaviour is in any kind related to yours. You've been on the victim-side all your life and have grown to expect that people turn against you. But it needn't stay like this. Surely, there is something you are better at than other people. I mean, look at yourself: you have a college degree in spite of what your teachers expected. That's totally awesome and I bet there are only very few poeple who could have reached such a high goal. Trust in yourself. It's in there, you just gotta let it out
And the moment you have more self-confidence, pople will instinctively start treating you differently and the bullying will stop. Trust me. I've been there.
And to everyone else: It's totally brave to start a thread like this and to post in it. Great work, everyone!
(And did you notice that nobody dared to bully or sneer? =) )
Count me in to the illustrious circle of emotionally challenged posters - for the last 6 months I've been suffering from a medium-sized depression and anxiety fits (apparently a sort of a post traumatic stress disorder). Fortunately, the source, my former landlady, was eliminated. Rather literally: she died 5 weeks ago which significantly improved the state of my mental health. If only things were always so easy to fix! At any rate I'm gradually pulling myself out of the swamp by my own ponytail. With a little help from my friends, my therapist and the marvels of modern chemistry. (And my instoppable gallows humour
)
stardream, this sounds extremely crazy but do you like rolled oats / oatflakes? They lower and level your blood sugar levels a good deal. My dad has type 2 Diabetes and ever since he eats his homemade muesli for breakfast he doesn't need any medication anymore =) It might be worth a try. Btw, with 5 type2 diabetics in my family I'm pretty much in your situation (just a matter of time till I get it), but as you and me are forewarned and know about the risks, we also know how to avoid them and not copy our family's mistakes. So, don't give in to despair that easily. People can get older than 90 with type 2. Let's see who of us can set a new record!
Freak, welcome back!
Forget your dad and his opinions, he's just your typical egomaniac. And most important of all: don't believe his behaviour is in any kind related to yours. You've been on the victim-side all your life and have grown to expect that people turn against you. But it needn't stay like this. Surely, there is something you are better at than other people. I mean, look at yourself: you have a college degree in spite of what your teachers expected. That's totally awesome and I bet there are only very few poeple who could have reached such a high goal. Trust in yourself. It's in there, you just gotta let it out And the moment you have more self-confidence, pople will instinctively start treating you differently and the bullying will stop. Trust me. I've been there.
And to everyone else: It's totally brave to start a thread like this and to post in it. Great work, everyone!
(And did you notice that nobody dared to bully or sneer? =) )
Count me in to the illustrious circle of emotionally challenged posters - for the last 6 months I've been suffering from a medium-sized depression and anxiety fits (apparently a sort of a post traumatic stress disorder). Fortunately, the source, my former landlady, was eliminated. Rather literally: she died 5 weeks ago which significantly improved the state of my mental health. If only things were always so easy to fix! At any rate I'm gradually pulling myself out of the swamp by my own ponytail. With a little help from my friends, my therapist and the marvels of modern chemistry. (And my instoppable gallows humour
)I certainly do not want to die. But life is just way too difficult it makes me wonder if I am crazy to want to keep living. But sometimes I am in so much pain, I get very sick; Doctors are just useless. I also have furry little pets. guinea pigs. over the years, I literally make sure to stay alive just so I can take care of them. Some times I felt like I was living for that reason only. It is unlikely they will live one decade. That part is very sad which is why I often get solid coloured ones that look exactly the same.
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I'm struggling with a failing marriage, with a wife who has big mental and physical issues, a son that lives too far away, another that is now on haemodialysis (after years of peritoneal), and my rejection as a potential donor. And my Dad passed away back in June, which is a huge void in my life, and will be for some kind to come. My life is just stuck. It's... not good. I used to get the train to work, and I've often thought if I was to "stumble" in front of it, maybe that would be for the best.
On the other hand, both sons have made me a granddad (July and February), and I now, after 20 years, have my own car, which frees me up more than I thought it would. Changes are coming, not quite sure when. I feel depressed, but not suffering from depression. It's my situation. not a physical problem, or maybe simply not actually depressed enough. And I think if something was to "happen" to me, it'd would hurt a lot more people than it would help.
My advice, FWIW, i... find the little joys, and make the most of them. A grandchild's smile, a clear blue sky, a view from my car as I head to work. It's not a lot but it keeps me going. All I can suggest is, try to find those moments and hold on to them. Of course it doesn't stop depression or heal in horrific situations, but it may help, even if only for a minuter or a even ten seconds. Every little bit helps. Take care of yourselves.
On the other hand, both sons have made me a granddad (July and February), and I now, after 20 years, have my own car, which frees me up more than I thought it would. Changes are coming, not quite sure when. I feel depressed, but not suffering from depression. It's my situation. not a physical problem, or maybe simply not actually depressed enough. And I think if something was to "happen" to me, it'd would hurt a lot more people than it would help.
My advice, FWIW, i... find the little joys, and make the most of them. A grandchild's smile, a clear blue sky, a view from my car as I head to work. It's not a lot but it keeps me going. All I can suggest is, try to find those moments and hold on to them. Of course it doesn't stop depression or heal in horrific situations, but it may help, even if only for a minuter or a even ten seconds. Every little bit helps. Take care of yourselves.
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I totally second that. When people are stressed or depressed, they tend to see only the bad things in life and overlook the small nice things. If you deliberately search for those every day, you'll gradually slip into a more positive frame of emotion.
To use a simile: people who keep looking down in order to not step into dog-poo might be walking in clounds of butterflies without noticing it. I prefer being the sort of person who sniffs all the flowers along their path, sees all butterflies, pretty beetles, birds and falling stars and occasionally has to take a break and scrape their shoes clean
To use a simile: people who keep looking down in order to not step into dog-poo might be walking in clounds of butterflies without noticing it. I prefer being the sort of person who sniffs all the flowers along their path, sees all butterflies, pretty beetles, birds and falling stars and occasionally has to take a break and scrape their shoes clean
Thanks!
Freak, you are not worthless. So you're in between jobs. That doesn't make you worthless. *HUGS*
