TNG Caption This! #432: Say what?!

[tharpdevenport]

PICARD: Guinan, thanks for coming aboard to run Ten Forward. I've always valued your advice. Your insight into people and problems is without peer. I wish I had someone like you on staff. Someone to help me sort things out with new species and societies....


TROI: Umm....hello!

PICARD: Perhaps someone who could be stationed on the bridge...

TROI: Sitting right here!!!!

Picard "Counselor, if you can't take it on the Bridge, then you might want to consider a transport ship..."

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: I remember. I was taken inside a Minbari cruiser. Interrogated. Tortured. Was that - the Grey Council? Maybe. Maybe. Before they surrendered, they must have blanked my memory and let me go. And Delenn, what was she doing there? What is it they don't want me to remember? I have to find out. I have to.
Riker: Wait, where have I heard this before?

 

[hux]

Picard: OK, when I turn around, whoever moved my tea better have put it back or I'm gonna be pissed off all day.

Data: Sorry to interrupt while you're having sex with your wife but...

La Forge: Holy fuck... that's what naked women look like!?

Worf: She has a most honourable ass.

Archaeologist: Ta Da!

Picard: Worst. Trick. Ever

Picard: I embarrassed myself at last nights party but the less you know, the better.

Riker: Why is there shit on the ceiling?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Picard: Number One, I am very impressed by your performance on the ship. The crew clearly look up to you.

Riker: Thank you, sir.

Picard: And to demonstrate that I can be more like you, I shall now demonstrate my mastery of the Stinknuts Maneuver. Here, allow me to use your chair for this purpose.

Riker: Wait, WHAT?

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Who thought purple would be a good color for these chairs?

 

[tharpdevenport]

Leprechaun: "Burn them with fire!"

Evil Gazoo: "No! Blow then out into space!"

Picard: "I don't kn... counselor, what do you think?"

Troi: "OH-o-o-o-o-o-o-ooooo yeahhh..."

Picard: "Mr. Data?"

Shoulder Devil: "Decompress the Bridge. Come on!"

 

[Smellincoffee]

Worf, thinking: Why does it not explode? That Ferengi ASSURED me the panel would explode and bring my promotion with it!

 

[Vanyel]

Picard (Quietly to Data): Yes, I said make it colder. Troi is starting to get nipely...I mean nippy.

LaForge: That's one freaky big forehead.

Worf: I need to get me some of that.

And this is the top of an "R2D2" toy from the late 20th early 21st century.

Riker: His "barn door" is open again. At least the horse stayed inside this time, or I'd be handing out more promotions.

 

[Triskelion]

Yar: Sir, I fired a full torpedo spread at the ship of orphans. I didn't think you'd object to the obliteration of a completely unknown threat.
Picard: Well, try not to make a habit of it, Lieutenant.
Worf: Wait, what?

Archeologist: We thought this might be of some interest to you, Captain. An engraved watch...a pistol...and Data's five-hundred year old severed head.
Data: Ohhh?
Archeologist: Starfleet Command told us you've been looking for an old-timey pocketwatch to swank up your smoking jacket.
Picard: Make it so!
Data: Awww.

http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[tharpdevenport]

Director (just off camera): "Annnd CUT!"

Patrick: "Oh, God, John -- before you got on set they were asking what size vest you wear and how I felt about a tiny green hat -- I think we've in for another Q fantasy episode."

 

[Leviathan]

Picard (offscreen): ...and that's the entire plot of 'Code of Honor'.

 

[dief25]

Yar: Captain, according to Memory Alpha, I'm supposed to DIE!

Worf: Dibs!

 

[Triskelion]

Yar: Captain, would you please tell Worf this is not a tribble on my head?


http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[inflatabledalek]

Picard: Damn it, our frame width isn't good enough for HD TV's!

Data: Excuse me Sir, we are looking for...

Geordi: There he is! There's the son of a gun who keeps doing jokes in the caption contest about my sex life!

Data: One down, several hundred to go.

Worf: Wait... you slept with Data as well?

Archaeologist: And with these rare artefacts we can conclusively prove man of this period was actually just as evolved as we are.

Picard: Merde, don't tell any aliens, time travellers or frozen people I may have patronised.

Leadhead: All I'm saying is some people suggest captions whilst the rest of you sit there in your silly purple chairs and daft beards.

 

[Captain Crow]

Riker, thinking: Did I leave the oven on?

Crusty Carl: The fuck you two want?

Geordi: OOOOOH!!!! I'm gonna tell the Captain you for said a bad word!

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER (thinking) Does this guy ever shut up?

 

[T'Girl]

Picard (offscreen): ...and that's the entire plot of 'Code of Honor'.

Yar: "So I get a featured episode, with dialog, and close-ups, and action, and everything? This will be the greatest episode ever."

Crusty Carl: The fuck you two want?

Geordi: OOOOOH!!!! I'm gonna tell the Captain you for said a bad word!

Data: "Indeed you did, As you're surely aware, in this century there is no want. The Captain will be most displeased"

 

[LeadHead]

Leadhead: All I'm saying is some people suggest captions whilst the rest of you sit there in your silly purple chairs and daft beards.

What?

I never said that!

Wait, this is a thread based on comedy. It's a joke!

Ahhhhhhh. Well played.

New Contest!

 

[Leviathan]

Picard (offscreen): ...and that's the entire plot of 'Code of Honor'.

Yar: "So I get a featured episode, with dialog, and close-ups, and action, and everything? This will be the greatest episode ever."

Riker: Well, except for 'Angel One' of course. I mean that was perfection.

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: - and we will observe the black hole from a safe distance or it will attract the Enterprise like it was the unshaven armpit of a trapeze artist.

Riker: First Officer's log, supplemental....