TNG Caption This! #432: Say what?!

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Oct 11, 2015.

  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    The Normandy SR-2
    Hello everyone! It's time for a new contest!

    Before we get to the winners, I want to say a really big thank you again to dstyer! He sent me another great idea for a contest and even spent time on TrekCore hunting for photos! Thank you for the suggestions!


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    First up to the plate, we have the "C'mon, just one..." Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Man of Starfleet" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Hope that Warp Core isn't actually breaching..." Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Good eyes" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Chaos Off the Bridge, too" Award, going to:

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    Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

    It's been great having the suggestions from dstyer lately! If you'd like to suggest a theme or a photo you'd like to see make an appearance in an upcoming contest, send me a PM. No guarantee on using it, but one way or the other, it'll be appreciated and it always helps to have input from outside my own brain from time to time.

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    Enjoy!
     
  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    The Normandy SR-2
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    Picard: Riker, Yar, Beverly and Worf are late. Again.

    Data: Captain, I may have an explanation, these photographs posted to SpaceBook...

    Picard: On screen, Mister Data.

    Troi: (thinking) That liar. Will said he wouldn't do that one again without me.

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    Data: I am Lieutenant Commander Data, this is my associate, Lieutenant Commander La Forge. We are here to inspect-

    La Forge: HOLY %$#&, that's a huge TV!

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    Picard: For crying out loud! Does anyone even look at their consoles anymore?!

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    Archaeologist: These are the items I purchased at Silent Auction.

    Picard: What about the items of historical significance you dug up here?

    Archaeologist: Later, later. I got this one for only 30 credits!

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    Picard: Very well, to defeat the Romulans, we''ll buy them ice cream cones.

    Riker: (thinking) What the...?
     
  3. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    AI Generated Madness
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    LAFORGE: Leah!!!

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    WORF: Horseshoe control panel, soon you will be mine.
     
  4. galleywest

    galleywest Lovable Flake Premium Member

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    Location:
    galleywest
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    Data was known for his classic 24th century pranks, like spamming Denobulan porn directly to Geordi's VISOR at inopportune moments.


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    Data: I believe you are supposed to pull the tablecloth out from under the objects on the table...


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    Riker: My beardy sense is tingling...
     
  5. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

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    Riker (inner monologue): "Was that my chair or did the captain's ass just squeek?"


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    Data (internal monologue): "Self diagnostic completed. It appears my axial servo did not squeek but rather the sound emanating from behind me."
     
  6. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    TFTJLFLEA Illusive Man!

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    Geordi: Good evening, Madam -
    Data: Sir.
    Geordi: Good evening Madam or Sir, we are tracking down a plasma douchenozzle -
    Data: Differential.
    Geordi: A douchenozzle differential somewhere around junction B-48 -
    Data: 47.
    Geordi: B-47, and we -
    Space Hitler Impersonator: Hey aren't you ze guy who told off zat space strumpet Leah Brrrahms? I vould love to tell off zat holo-teasink schlampe too! Everyvon is talkink about it down in ze holo-Hofbräuhaus. You just cut off her spiel und said "Nein nein nein", ja vol?
    Geordi: Actually it was more like "No nononononono NO!"
    Data: No. No. No. No. N -
    Geordi: No, NO nonononononono NO!
    Space Hitler Impersonator: Nein, neinneinneinnein NEIN!
    Geordi: No....
    Data: No no no no no no no -
    Space Hitler Impersonator: Nein nein nein nein nein NEIN -
    Geordi: NO! NO! N N N N N N NO!
    Space Hitler Impersonator: Oh, NEIN, NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN!
    Data: NO n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-NOOOO!
    Geordi: NO! NO! NONONONONONO NO -
    <Ship explodes>


     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2015
  7. at Quark's

    at Quark's Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2012
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    Data: Good morning, Sir. I bring you happy news! Years ago, I was lost, utterly lost. On a world called Omicron Theta. But Starfleet found me and saved me! Some of their members beamed me up and taught me the true Starfleet way! Perhaps, you feel lost as well, in your current situation and see no way out, but starfleet can save you, too! Do you want to be saved? If you are interested, here, take this tricorder. It will explain what we believe in, what kind of work we do, how to leave your problems behind you and become a member of Starfleet. We also hold weekly meetings at Ten Forward...

    Geordi: (singing with abandon) 'was blind, but now I see...'..
     
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2015
  8. Mojochi

    Mojochi Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2007
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    Picard: It's a simple question Wesley. What position would you like me to arbitrarily post you to next, chief of operations, counselor, or 1st officer?

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    Data: Though I have never considered a romantic relationship with Commander LaForge, your observations of our behavior are quite astute. Perhaps there is sufficient cause to reconfigure my sexuality subroutines.

    Geordi: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

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    Worf: (thinking) When I become chief of security, the short hair regulation is OUT!

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    Excavator: We've tried to preserve everything as we found it.

    Picard: Spectacles, a pocket watch, a snuff box & a revolver? Strange poker game

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    Picard: I'm thinking of growing a beard. Opinions?
     
  9. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    AI Generated Madness
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    Picard's habit of consulting his invisible friend "Pierre", was beginning to worry the senior staff.
     
  10. GhostLoveScore

    GhostLoveScore Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2014
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    Data: Captain, the security team reports no EM anomalies in your quarters. But they did report some weird objects, for example - pictures of naked female crew members.

    Picard: Shit

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    Picard: Number 1

    Riker: Yes, Captain

    Picard: Is Wesley still in shuttlebay 2?

    Riker: Yes

    Picard: Open it.
     
  11. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Picard: "My goodness! Look at all those dust bunnies along the walls! Maybe someone who's just uselessly sitting around up here with nothing to do could maybe do something about them?"
    Troi: "I hate this job."


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    Worf: "Hmm...nice caboose on the Yarster! Oh, cripes! Did I just say that out loud?"


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    Archaeologist: "I think you'll understand why we contacted you, Captain Picard, once you see this head we found."
    Data: "Hey! I know that dude!"
     
  12. Hutchy01

    Hutchy01 Captain Captain

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Inside the Wastelands of my mind!
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    Archaeologist: Please put your penis away Mr. Picard.
     
  13. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    AI Generated Madness
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    ARCHAEOLOGIST: Our best guess is someone attempted to construct a mnemonic memory circuit using stone knives and bearskins
     
  14. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    shivkala
    Thanks for the win, Leadhead, er The Illusive Man
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    Picard: Lt. LaForge?

    Lt. in red in the back: Sir?

    Picard: LaForge, not DeBarge, Lt.

    Lt. in red in the back: Sorry, sir, but if you ever need me, forget about the worries on your mind, you can leave them all behind...

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    Lt. LarForge kept making the mistake of using his UV filter when investigating hotel rooms.

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    Worf: *Thinking to himself--Lt. Yar keeps making suggestions that the Captain shoots down. I I were in her position, I would not allow that to happen*

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    Archaeologist: This is the best the prop department could do for "Late 1800's."

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    Picard: Bicycles! Because vests have no sleeves.

    Riker: Sir, I'm sorry, but being that I usually tune you out when you get into your lectures, but is it me or are you making less sense than usual?
     
  15. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2012
    Location:
    JirinPanthosa
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    In this deleted scene, the blocking went disastrously wrong and all the actors were told to look at different cameras.

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    DATA: Excuse me. I apologize for disturbing you and the young ensign, but I was running routine scans in the corridor when I detected a spiking heart rate from the occupants of these quarters. Is anything the matter?
    GEORDI: Data, NO!

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    WORF: Nice butt. For a human. Maybe if I bet on her in the martial arts competition she'll go out with me.

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    ARCHAEOLOGIST: As you see, we found these weird colored rocks and these strange suits marked 'Dharma Initiative'.
    DATA: I recommend we walk away and take no part in this.
    PICARD: Make it so.

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    PULASKI: We've had over ten incidences of this new hybrid venerial disease in the past week. All young ensigns fresh out of the academy.
    PICARD: This is unacceptable. We must track the spread of this disease back to its source. Commander, have you noticed anything odd since your return from Risa?
     
  16. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    AI Generated Madness
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    ARCHAEOLOGIST: We have top men working on it right now.

    PICARD: Who?!

    ARCHAEOLOGIST: Top... men.
     
  17. Gepard

    Gepard Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2007
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    ♫ Oooooooooooooooooooooookalhoma, where the wind goes sweeping down the plains. ♫

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    WORF: Next year, it shall be I who stares vacantly at the viewscreen!
     
  18. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Location:
    Confederation of Earth
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    Geordi: I see a little silhouetto of a droid.
    Data: Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?
    Crewman: Thunderbolts of lightning, very very frightening ME.


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    Picard: I BEG your pardon, Lieutenant?

    Archaeologist: Captain, I'm just giving you some head, like I said I'd do. Why, what did you think I meant?


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    Worf: By the blood of Kahless, I will find out what is going on with the junk inside that trunk.
     
  19. tharpdevenport

    tharpdevenport Admiral Admiral

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    Worf: "All right, now that we have found where I plugged my cellphone in, perhaps the idiot who left the Emergency Manual Override consule screen hanging open will step forward and be appropriately phasered?"
     
  20. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk A Spock and a smile Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    AI Generated Madness
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    PICARD: Guinan, thanks for coming aboard to run Ten Forward. I've always valued your advice. Your insight into people and problems is without peer. I wish I had someone like you on staff. Someone to help me sort things out with new species and societies....


    TROI: Umm....hello!

    PICARD: Perhaps someone who could be stationed on the bridge...

    TROI: Sitting right here!!!!