TNG Caption This! #432: Say what?!

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! It's time for a new contest!

Before we get to the winners, I want to say a really big thank you again to dstyer! He sent me another great idea for a contest and even spent time on TrekCore hunting for photos! Thank you for the suggestions!

First up to the plate, we have the "C'mon, just one..." Award, going to:

WORF: That's it! I'm just going to sit here until the Captain actually takes one of my suggestions.

Next, we have the "Man of Starfleet" Award, going to:

Crusher: So, you were living out your life on some planet that was about to be destroyed?

Picard: Yes! And, for some reason, my son was trying to build a craft to save his baby son by launching it towards Earth where the yellow solar radiation would give it super powers.

Riker: Sir, what exactly is in your Earl Grey?

Next, we have the "Hope that Warp Core isn't actually breaching..." Award, going to:

LAFORGE: And I'm.....Crap, the door's on the other side of the room!

Next, we have the "Good eyes" Award, going to:

Worf: "Ensigns, try to control yourself, I know I said the first person to find where I plugged my cellphone in would be with honor, but as you can see at the bottom left of the picture, we have found the cord."

Next, we have the "Chaos Off the Bridge, too" Award, going to:

Patrick Stewart: Let her go Maurice!

Worf's personal log, stardate 47765.3. I am returning from the Roller Dance Tournament on the Enterprise. The conditions were difficult. Several contestants were maimed. But I was triumphant. I won Champion Falling.

Beverley never could refuse Jean-Luc when he asked her to dance, but the uneven floor of a steamy jungle really wasn't the best place for a polka.

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

It's been great having the suggestions from dstyer lately! If you'd like to suggest a theme or a photo you'd like to see make an appearance in an upcoming contest, send me a PM. No guarantee on using it, but one way or the other, it'll be appreciated and it always helps to have input from outside my own brain from time to time.

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: Riker, Yar, Beverly and Worf are late. Again.

Data: Captain, I may have an explanation, these photographs posted to SpaceBook...

Picard: On screen, Mister Data.

Troi: (thinking) That liar. Will said he wouldn't do that one again without me.

Data: I am Lieutenant Commander Data, this is my associate, Lieutenant Commander La Forge. We are here to inspect-

La Forge: HOLY %$#&, that's a huge TV!

Picard: For crying out loud! Does anyone even look at their consoles anymore?!

Archaeologist: These are the items I purchased at Silent Auction.

Picard: What about the items of historical significance you dug up here?

Archaeologist: Later, later. I got this one for only 30 credits!

Picard: Very well, to defeat the Romulans, we''ll buy them ice cream cones.

Riker: (thinking) What the...?

 

[Nerys Myk]

LAFORGE: Leah!!!

WORF: Horseshoe control panel, soon you will be mine.

 

[galleywest]

Data was known for his classic 24th century pranks, like spamming Denobulan porn directly to Geordi's VISOR at inopportune moments.

Data: I believe you are supposed to pull the tablecloth out from under the objects on the table...

Riker: My beardy sense is tingling...

 

[tharpdevenport]

Riker (inner monologue): "Was that my chair or did the captain's ass just squeek?"

Data (internal monologue): "Self diagnostic completed. It appears my axial servo did not squeek but rather the sound emanating from behind me."

 

[Triskelion]

TFTJLFLEA Illusive Man!

Geordi: Good evening, Madam -
Data: Sir.
Geordi: Good evening Madam or Sir, we are tracking down a plasma douchenozzle -
Data: Differential.
Geordi: A douchenozzle differential somewhere around junction B-48 -
Data: 47.
Geordi: B-47, and we -
Space Hitler Impersonator: Hey aren't you ze guy who told off zat space strumpet Leah Brrrahms? I vould love to tell off zat holo-teasink schlampe too! Everyvon is talkink about it down in ze holo-Hofbräuhaus. You just cut off her spiel und said "Nein nein nein", ja vol?
Geordi: Actually it was more like "No nononononono NO!"
Data: No. No. No. No. N -
Geordi: No, NO nonononononono NO!
Space Hitler Impersonator: Nein, neinneinneinnein NEIN!
Geordi: No....
Data: No no no no no no no -
Space Hitler Impersonator: Nein nein nein nein nein NEIN -
Geordi: NO! NO! N N N N N N NO!
Space Hitler Impersonator: Oh, NEIN, NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN!
Data: NO n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-NOOOO!
Geordi: NO! NO! NONONONONONO NO -
<Ship explodes>

 

[at Quark's]

Data: Good morning, Sir. I bring you happy news! Years ago, I was lost, utterly lost. On a world called Omicron Theta. But Starfleet found me and saved me! Some of their members beamed me up and taught me the true Starfleet way! Perhaps, you feel lost as well, in your current situation and see no way out, but starfleet can save you, too! Do you want to be saved? If you are interested, here, take this tricorder. It will explain what we believe in, what kind of work we do, how to leave your problems behind you and become a member of Starfleet. We also hold weekly meetings at Ten Forward...

Geordi: (singing with abandon) 'was blind, but now I see...'..

 

[Mojochi]

Picard: It's a simple question Wesley. What position would you like me to arbitrarily post you to next, chief of operations, counselor, or 1st officer?

Data: Though I have never considered a romantic relationship with Commander LaForge, your observations of our behavior are quite astute. Perhaps there is sufficient cause to reconfigure my sexuality subroutines.

Geordi: NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Worf: (thinking) When I become chief of security, the short hair regulation is OUT!

Excavator: We've tried to preserve everything as we found it.

Picard: Spectacles, a pocket watch, a snuff box & a revolver? Strange poker game

Picard: I'm thinking of growing a beard. Opinions?

 

[Nerys Myk]

Picard's habit of consulting his invisible friend "Pierre", was beginning to worry the senior staff.

 

[GhostLoveScore]

Data: Captain, the security team reports no EM anomalies in your quarters. But they did report some weird objects, for example - pictures of naked female crew members.

Picard: Shit

Picard: Number 1

Riker: Yes, Captain

Picard: Is Wesley still in shuttlebay 2?

Riker: Yes

Picard: Open it.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Picard: "My goodness! Look at all those dust bunnies along the walls! Maybe someone who's just uselessly sitting around up here with nothing to do could maybe do something about them?"
Troi: "I hate this job."

Worf: "Hmm...nice caboose on the Yarster! Oh, cripes! Did I just say that out loud?"

Archaeologist: "I think you'll understand why we contacted you, Captain Picard, once you see this head we found."
Data: "Hey! I know that dude!"

 

[Hutchy01]

Archaeologist: Please put your penis away Mr. Picard.

 

[Nerys Myk]

ARCHAEOLOGIST: Our best guess is someone attempted to construct a mnemonic memory circuit using stone knives and bearskins

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win, Leadhead, er The Illusive Man

Picard: Lt. LaForge?

Lt. in red in the back: Sir?

Picard: LaForge, not DeBarge, Lt.

Lt. in red in the back: Sorry, sir, but if you ever need me, forget about the worries on your mind, you can leave them all behind...

Lt. LarForge kept making the mistake of using his UV filter when investigating hotel rooms.

Worf: *Thinking to himself--Lt. Yar keeps making suggestions that the Captain shoots down. I I were in her position, I would not allow that to happen*

Archaeologist: This is the best the prop department could do for "Late 1800's."

Picard: Bicycles! Because vests have no sleeves.

Riker: Sir, I'm sorry, but being that I usually tune you out when you get into your lectures, but is it me or are you making less sense than usual?

 

[JirinPanthosa]

In this deleted scene, the blocking went disastrously wrong and all the actors were told to look at different cameras.

DATA: Excuse me. I apologize for disturbing you and the young ensign, but I was running routine scans in the corridor when I detected a spiking heart rate from the occupants of these quarters. Is anything the matter?
GEORDI: Data, NO!

WORF: Nice butt. For a human. Maybe if I bet on her in the martial arts competition she'll go out with me.

ARCHAEOLOGIST: As you see, we found these weird colored rocks and these strange suits marked 'Dharma Initiative'.
DATA: I recommend we walk away and take no part in this.
PICARD: Make it so.

PULASKI: We've had over ten incidences of this new hybrid venerial disease in the past week. All young ensigns fresh out of the academy.
PICARD: This is unacceptable. We must track the spread of this disease back to its source. Commander, have you noticed anything odd since your return from Risa?

 

[Nerys Myk]

ARCHAEOLOGIST: We have top men working on it right now.

PICARD: Who?!

ARCHAEOLOGIST: Top... men.

 

[Gepard]

♫ Oooooooooooooooooooooookalhoma, where the wind goes sweeping down the plains. ♫

WORF: Next year, it shall be I who stares vacantly at the viewscreen!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Geordi: I see a little silhouetto of a droid.
Data: Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?
Crewman: Thunderbolts of lightning, very very frightening ME.

Picard: I BEG your pardon, Lieutenant?

Archaeologist: Captain, I'm just giving you some head, like I said I'd do. Why, what did you think I meant?

Worf: By the blood of Kahless, I will find out what is going on with the junk inside that trunk.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Worf: "All right, now that we have found where I plugged my cellphone in, perhaps the idiot who left the Emergency Manual Override consule screen hanging open will step forward and be appropriately phasered?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Guinan, thanks for coming aboard to run Ten Forward. I've always valued your advice. Your insight into people and problems is without peer. I wish I had someone like you on staff. Someone to help me sort things out with new species and societies....


TROI: Umm....hello!

PICARD: Perhaps someone who could be stationed on the bridge...

TROI: Sitting right here!!!!