TNG Caption This! #422: Better late than never

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! Thanks for your patience with the long length of the last contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "Preventative Treatment... maybe" Award, going to:

Troi: "Shouldn't we have been inoculated before we left the ship?"

Crusher: "Details, details."

Next, we have the "How things work at Paramount" Award, going to:

Burton: Come on Berman, I know you're in there! I want to direct!

Next, we have the "Does that mean they're all bout toe beat up Riker?" Award, going to:

Riker: Before we get started, does anyone want to get out?

Data: Sir, I have been elected to tell you that the quote does not work before we are all in the turbolift. In addition, we are all tired of you making the same joke. The Captain wishes to inform you that you are barred from watching Captain America: The Winter Solider.

Next, we have the "Nice to meet you, Pinocchio" Award, going to:

O'BRIEN: Sorry Data. I don't think it's likely you'll ever be a real boy.

Next, we have the "Day of the Dove" Award, going to:

Worf: "Argh! It's that damn Beta XII-A entity again! It's been following me around for weeks now trying to pick a fight!"

Next, we have the "French Mind Trick" Award, going to:

Obi-Wan Picard: I'm not the captain you are looking for!

Next, we have the "Secrets of the Enterprise" Award, going to:

Troi: This is not bad. Why don't we use this turbolift more often?
Picard: Counselor! Grab me a tea from my replicator while you're over there.
Troi: Oh that's right.
Picard: Worf! Adjust the main viewer! The stars are all streaky.

Next, we have the "And this is why we think sampling would be a better strategy, C.J." Award, going to:

Data: THE CENSUS IS A REQUIRED DECENNIAL SURVEY!

O'Brien. ``Personal log. I'll give them another three hours and then I'm just going to pick a floor.''

Since I was so late in getting this contest going, I'm bringing back a couple of the special awards!

Guinan: You're a droid and I'm a noid. Geddit.
Data: Yeah, I'm getting out.

Geordi: No wait! We didn't even make it to the holodeck beach program yet!

Data: Thank you for your concern, Captain, I am fine. However, after the inertial dampeners failed, Wesley was not so fortunate.

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congratulations to our winners!

Thank you all again for being patient with my tardiness on this contest, I was traveling last week and between being busy and the available WI-fi being lackluster, judging and starting a new contest would have been difficult at best.

Time to move on to our new contest, I added a bonus sixth photo this time around since I was so late getting this one going.

Let's caption!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Data: Commander, the Captain is-

(Door closes)

Data: -in the Ready Room.

Picard: It has come to my attention that a member of the staff has been live tweeting staff meetings. Do we have any suspects?

Picard: (over comm) So long, suckers.

Picard: Bridge to Engineering. It's buffering... again.

Geordi: Thanks for coming, Doc. I can only get this area approved for chairs if another senior officer is down here.

Riker: We just got word, the pizza won't be here for another 20 minutes.

 

[Triskelion]

T4TW LeadHead!

Kolrami: What are you, stomping on ewoks? Walk through a door like a normal humanoid!

Orange Crush: Is this a bad time to discuss your spiking estrogen levels, Jean Luc?

Riker: That looks like a good place for a landing strip.
Troi: Oh here we go.

Picard: Come on come on come on...
Riker: Nope, you sliced it.
Yar: Nope, watching golf sucks in space too.

Orange Crush: All this radiation is engorging my nipples.
LaFolgers Dilithium Crystals: I know.

Troi: I told you to bring the poking stick.
Riker: Sorry, Keiko O'Brien was using it.
Troi: Now Worf's gone too.
Data: If you all do not mind I would like to get back to my discussion of how the Federation can function without an "economic system."

 

[Mutai Sho-Rin]

About damn time! An old guy can only hold his breath for so long.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

TFTW, LeadHead!

Data: "Ah, you must be our 'first-rate doctor' who is 'nevertheless still all woman.' I recognize your 'strip-queen figure that even a uniform cannot hide.' Also, your 'surprising efficiency.' You 'undoubtedly dream of serving the captain with equal efficiency in more personal departments.'"
Crusher: "The emotion chip was bad enough. But this Roddenberry chip has got to go!"

 

[Captain Crow]

Crusher: Data... I'm afraid I have some bad news about your hitchhiking cousin who was visiting Philadelphia.

 

[Nerys Myk]

CRUSHER: So, whatcha doing?

LAFORGE: Running a level three diagnostic.

CRUSHER: What does this button do?

LAFORGE: It vents all the plasma.

CRUSHER: Can I push it?

LAFORGE: No! Why are you here???!!!!

CRUSHER: The Captain banned me from the bridge.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

LaForge: "Uh...according to the rules of Battleship, I don't think you're allowed to look at my screen."
Crusher: "I launched a scout plane. B-3!"

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win, Leadhead!

Ensign Noname: OH SHIT, IT 'BOUT TO GO DOWN! HE GON' TEAR UP DAT SUMBITCH!

Picard: Okay, that brings me to my next thing, assignments for year two of our voyage. If you're still going to be onboard, please stand up...Dr. Crusher why are you standing?

Riker: Why didn't anyone tell me our ass was so big?

No one liked "Senior Officer Group Picture Day."

Crusher: Medical Officer's Personal Log: I think Geordi figured out that my coming on to him is a bet the senior staff made. I have to admit, for someone I've diagnosed with "Perpetual Blue Balls Syndrome," he's holding out for a long time.

Picard: Are we boring you, Worf?

Worf: Fashion shows are not honorable!

Picard: Be that as we may, let's bring out our next model, Commander Riker. Commander Riker is modelling our Command Line of uniforms. Note the one piece design, ensuring your officers are always displaying good posture. Thank you, Commander Riker.

http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: And tell that idiot Riker, the grav plating works fine. He just walks funny!

 

[Captain Crow]

Riker: I'd give it about an hour if I were you.

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: Whoa, who called a staff meeting?

PICARD: We have one every week, on the same day and at the same time!

 

[Bad Thoughts]

Picard: Doctor Pulaksi to the bridge!

 

[Rat Boy]

Burke: "What's with them?"

Data: "Antedean dysentery."

Burke: "Yikes. They do know that's not the bathroom, right?"

Data: "Negative."

Burke: "I feel sorry for whatever poor son of a bitch is going to have to clean up after them."

Worf: "So you are feeling sorry for yourself right now?"

Burke: "...shit."

Data: "Indeed."

Picard: "Doctor, what can you tell us about Antedean Dysentery?"

Crusher: "What dysentery?"

Picard: "...merde."

Riker: "He's all over the place. Data, hit the lights."

Picard: "He's not slowing down. Lieutenant Yar, put a shot across his bow..."

Riker: "...I'm...I think my Antedean dysentery's back..."

Crusher: "Oh, that dysentery."

Picard: "I've convened this inquiry to discuss the accidental destruction of a shuttle flown by a drunken..."

Riker: "Good news, I got it out of my system!"

Worf: "For Kahless' sake, that also wasn't the bathroom!"

Geordi: "...sounds like your average Monday around here."

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: This rear view camera really makes backing into a parking place easy.

CRUSHER: There's a new nurse who transferred over from the Melbourne....

LAFORGE: Whoa, I don't need to be set up on dates!

CRUSHER: I'm just making small talk. No way am I inflicting you on one of my staff!

 

[Mojochi]

Thanks for the win

Crusher: Results to the paternity test? Yeah. I got those right her. Data is a machine & Geordi never has sex. You do the math, Jean-Luc

Riker: Wait a minute. Which way are we going again?

Captain's Log: I could kill Riker for encouraging Data to keep practicing his whistling

Crusher: It's amazing how you know right where to finger, without looking.

Riker: Dr. Crusher will be dressed, I mean, up in a minute

Worf: Awkward...

 

[Nerys Myk]

RIKER: Those sweaters get uglier and uglier.

CRUSHER: I knitted those sweaters!

 

[JirinPanthosa]

DATA: Why is Kolrami so upset?
WORF: I beat him at Settlers.

PICARD: I'm sorry Beverly. It's true. Wesley...is annoying.
CRUSHER: But he's a genius!

The cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation react to Gene Roddenberry's latest rewrite.

BEVERLY: So Geordi. (Leans over console) Got any plans tonight?
GEORDI: Yep! I have this project I'm working on, a new dilithium chamber configuration that might result in a 1.5% increase in antimatter injection efficiency.
BEVERLY: Great. Sounds...interesting. (Walks away)
GEORDI: Man, why can't I get any dates?

RIKER: Sorry I'm late. Why are the lights off?
DEANNA: Shh! Picard and Worf are sleeping.


I'll do the third one later because I have a cool Photoshop idea for it.

 

[Nerys Myk]

DATA: Running Riker, was that ever a meme?

WORF: Nope. And never will be.

 

[Avro Arrow]

Data: Are all the non-yellowshirts off the bridge now?
Worf: Yes, sir, that's the last of them.
Data: Excellent. Weapons and shields to full. Prepare to engage the Green Lantern.

Picard: Doctor, we're trying to have a staff meeting here. Put the damn iPhone away!

Data: Sir, I believe you reconnected the saucer section... backwards.
Riker: Dammit, I told him I've never done a manual docking before! Do you think the captain will notice?
Data: I would think that would be highly likely.
Riker: Wait a minute... Data, put a reverse angle on the viewer! It'll look like we're facing forward!
Data: Inquiry, sir: you became first officer how, exactly?

Riker: What'd I miss?
Data: Not much. The captain has recently realized the tabletop is reflective.
Worf: ... forty minutes ago!!