TNG Caption This! #418: Powerful Moments

[LeadHead]

Hello and welcome to the new contest! Sorry again for the late start, next week should be more prompt!

First up to the plate, we have the "Inappropriate games" Award, going to:

Riker: "It's our poker night, Admiral. There's always an open seat for you."

Hanson: "Strip poker?"

Riker: "...no."

Hanson: "Then I'll pass."

Next, we have the "Crucial Controls" Award, going to:

Data: ...and this button causes the panel to explode in a dramatic fashion. As this is a cliffhanger you will need it a lot.

Next, we have "The Fro-Gurt is also Cursed" Award, going to:

Geordi: Due to the Borg shielding, we can't get a fix on the Captain's transporter signal until we get in closer range.
Riker: And is that a bad thing?
Datai: Well it depends, sir. We are taxing our engines already.
Geordi: I might be able to get another few hundredths of a percentage of warp velocity, but it will take drawing power from secondary systems.
Riker: And that's a good thing?
Wesley: We could evacuate all non-essential areas and reduce turbolift activity but it will mean doubling up on work details.
Riker: And that's a bad thing?
Geordi: Well, it could be difficult, Commander. But it might give us the extra boost in speed we need to catch up to the Borg cube.
Riker: And that's a good thing?
Data: Good is a relative term. We will then have to find a way to deal with their proven technological superiority in every aspect of starship operation; the slightest failure will almost certainly result in our assimilation into Borg.
...
...
...
Wesley: I got it. <kicks Riker>
Riker: And that's a bad thing?
Geordi: Well,....

Next, we have the "Equipment OF THE FUTURE!" Award, going to:

DATA: Anyone have a couple of spare AA batteries?

Next, we have the "Betazoid Physiology" Award, going to:

Cmdr Riker: "You're what?! But we...that was ten years ago."

Deanna Troi:"Really? Starfleet didn't teach you about female betazoid physiology before you we're assigned to betazed?"

Geordi: Engineer's Log: One advantage of this VISOR is that Commander Riker never realizes I am actually rolling my eyes.

RIKER: Geordi, I have a question about your visor. Could you use it to see spikes in a woman's heart rate?
GEORDI: Yes, I suppose I could. Why?
RIKER: You've got a new job as my wing man!

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

And now, a new contest!

Enjoy!

 

[tharpdevenport]

"It's okay, it's okay -- they're done filming 'Code of Honor'..."

24th Century Memes: Invisible Worf.

 

[LeadHead]

Geordi: This is the worst headache I've ever felt.

Troi: I sense... Pain.

Troi: Hey! Did you all have a staff meeting without me?

Worf: Romulan Warbird uncloaking.

Picard: Time for a long diplomatic discussion with their commander.

Riker: I'm sick of those. Fire Phasers!

First Officers log: Next time, we bring sleeping bags.

Picard: Captain Riker, we shall begin the war games.

Riker: Okay, we're not on the Hathaway, we're on the Battle Bridge.

Worf: Separation complete.

Riker: We've got the Warp Drive and the torpedoes. Good luck, sucker!

 

[Captain Crow]

Riker: WORF! You should be ashamed of yourself.

Conn Officer, under her breath in a disgusted tone: Nasty ass.

Data: Venting the bridge.

 

[Nebusj]

``The Captain said they got the emitter back on-line, Geordi, so you don't have to be the photon torpedo after all.''

Troi begins to suspect Riker was pranking her with ``Naked Day''.

Riker: ``Worf! Take my Google results off Helm's console now!''

You'd think the middle of launching their model rocket would be a bad time for yoga class, wouldn't you?

Picard: ``Will, think it over. Do you really want to transfer to Voyager? Worf?''

 

[galleywest]

Troi: If you let the nice doctor-lady give you your shots, you can fly the ship.

Geordi: *sniffles* Can I be Chief Engineer?

Troi and Crusher exchange glances, then shrug.

Troi: Sure, why not?

That awkward moment when you find the nanny-cam.

Riker: Pew pew pew!

Riker: Snow! That's what's missing! I knew there was something!

Picard: You know, now that I see it from this perspective, it really is nuts to have an unenlisted teenager on the bridge.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Data: Second Officer's Log, supplemental. The mushrooms were indeed a bad idea. They have, however, given me valuable insight into psychosis.

 

[Triskelion]

T4TW Leadhead!

Troi: There there, Geordi. You had no way of knowing how Christie Henshaw would respond to you moving in for a kiss.
Crusher: Good thing I wasn't absent on violinectomy day!

Troi: SAY IT!
Crewman: Sigh. Drugs make you feel good, Wesley.
Troi: Geez, put some emotion into it!

Helm: Why does it smell like...stinky nuts up here?
Riker: Zip it, Worf! That's a preemptive zip it!

Troi: I'm so glad we invented the 24th century fartcation.
Riker: Who needs money?

Riker: And just remember, Enterprise: Captain Riker has never lost!
Wesley: Well technically, we forfeited the original scenario, because I cheated and violated its parameters, and created a new, unauthorized scenario that we then neglected to inform the judge or counterparties of -
Riker: Never lost!

 

[Hutchy01]

Picard: Fire now and we will be free from all out annoying characters!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Troi: "So, while sodium triolate made him overly aggressive, panzoripale makes him a quivering mass of insecurity."
Crusher: "This is fun! Let's see what restomycin does to him!"

Troi (seductively): "There's not much going on right now, Ensign. Why don't you come down here and sit beside me for a while?"
Ensign: "First time on the night shift, ma'am?
Troi: "Uh...yes..."
Ensign: "Yeah. Boredom can be a real problem. You'll want to watch out for that."

Riker: "I spy, with my little eye, something that is silver!"
Picard (sighs): "Commander, this game works a lot better if you don't point at the object."

Riker: "Poisonous gas...we've only seconds to live..."
O'Brien: "Data...you don't need to breathe...why is the gas affecting you?
Data: "Actually, it is not. But, as you know, I strongly desire to be more like humans--"
Troi: "Get us out of here, you idiot!"

Picard: "My God! How old is that ship? Worf, is that a...a teletype machine?"
Worf (offended): "A subspace teletype machine!"

 

[huskers57]

Troi - "Geordi, you have to want a six-pack. You can do it! Feel the burn!"

Crusher - "What is this? Counselthenics?!"

Riker- "You!! You're the one that I want... the one that I want... ooh ooh OOH!"

Data - "Everyone, please pay attention to my model rocket launch... laying on the ground provides optimum visibility."

Riker - "Every mother in the universe has given birth to a child...except mine. She gave birth to a legend!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

HELM: Why is there Klingon porn on my console?

RIKER: Worf!!!!

 

[Rat Boy]

Troi: "Have you learned your lesson?"

Geordi: "Yeah, don't try to out drink someone with four livers."

Picard: "Give it a rest, Will. No one's going to pull your finger."

O'Brien: "Sure we couldn't have vacationed on Risa?"

Picard: "I've always wanted to say this...Fire at Will!"

 

[JirinPanthosa]

GATES: I'm sorry Levar. In the 24th century, holograms have replaced reading for children.
BURTON: SOME UTOPIA!!!

GOLDSHIRT: (Thinking) Then in the next chapter, Lt Johnson meets the Vulcan triplets...
TROI: *Gasp*
GOLDSHIFT: Note to self. Never plan out your erotic holonovel with a betazoid in the room.

RIKER: The raiding party is about to beam aboard the ship. Worf! Try not to get beaten up this time!
WORF: Shut up.

In the progressive utopian future, nap time is mandatory.

RIKER: I will win this simulation, because I am a risk taker, and you are lame.
PICARD: HAHA! I will draw this simulation, by negotiating a truce with you.
RIKER: Good idea. Why don't you lower your weapons and shields as a gesture of good will?
PICARD: Sure, I will...heeeeyyyyy.

 

[TolkienOtaku]

"Why did I buy into the Beanie Baby craze? WHY?"

"Don't look at her boobs, don't look at her boobs, don't look at her boobs..."

Conn Officer: "OMG, this console is so tacky!"

Even in the 24th century, narcolepsy is still a problem.

Picard: "Wesley, wipe that stupid grin off your face! You too, Riker!"
Worf: "This is why I don't smile."

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: I am so not paying the bill for this

 

[Smellincoffee]

Picard: You're seceding from the Enterprise to create a leaner, meaner, ship?
Riker: Yep. No tea, no diplomacy. Just torpedos and fisticuffs.
Picard: But you have Wesley.
Riker: Why carry a full engineering staff when the whizkid can do everything himself?

 

[Triskelion]

Crusher: He's been like this all night. He thinks he's a cloaked Klingon Bird of Prey.
Troi: Well why haven't you cured him yet?
Crusher: It's the 80's. We need all the Big Shoulders we can get.

 

[Hutchy01]

Riker: I'm going to beat the shit out of everyone on this ship starting with you Worf!

 

[shivkala]

Thanks for the win, Leadhead!

Crusher: Doctor's Log: "Utopian Society," my ass. We're a bunch of whinny babies! "Oh, I have this pain in my head, cure me, cure me!"

Here we see a scene from the un-aired episode, "Troi's Day." It turns out, no one wanted to watch 24 hours in the life of Troi.

Riker: Now, apologize to the CONN officer, or go to your room.

Worf: *quietly* I'm sorry.

Riker: What? I can't hear you.

Worf: *shouting* I'M SORRY!

TOS fans like to point to this scene as proof that the "let's talk this over" attitude of TNG put even the cast members to sleep. "Kirk would have punched this and the episode would have ended it in 5 minutes!" cried one fan.

Riker: Yeah, well...we're gonna go have our own Enterprise, with blackjack and hookers. In fact, forget the Enterprise!

Picard: Fire now and we will be free from all out annoying characters!

Troi: Captain, I sense that they are upset at your calling them "annoying."

Pulaski: Now's a good time to ship the tin-man over too, and we won't have to deal with the android anymore.

Picard: Hathaway, prepare to receive two more officers.

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