Can we be friends until I can form more cogent arguments? I may have led you to believe that most of the things I'm talking about are major reasons for my discomfort, but they are simply things that rub me the wrong way upon re-watching.
For example, if Romulans suddenly lost their cranial ridges, lost their green hue, changed their hairstyle, altered their clothing style, grew stubble and tattooed their faces in, say "The Motion Picture", "Deep Space Nine" or "The Undiscovered Country" (all things that I love), I'd go along with it and just rationalise (as you have) that it's just what
some Romulans look like.
For me, I have sentimental (perhaps, irrational) attatchment to
this kind of Romulan (my first exposure to them):
They've changed quite a lot since then but, in every instance (until "Nemesis"), I went along with it because I enjoyed the overall product.
Since I, already, don't like this new film, then I'm, of course, going to resent the changes made (for this specific element).
Hell, I might have ended up disliking how they looked in "The Original Series" but I didn't, primarily, because "Balance of Terror" was such a good episode.