TNG Caption This! #403: Crusher, M.D.
- Thread starter LeadHead
- Start date
CRUSHER: "Please, Jesus, get me out of this nightmare."
TROI: "Beverly, try to be open about this ..."
PICARD: "Dr. Crusher, for some time now, you've tried to imply, in various episodes, that I am Wesley's real father -- and I want it to stop."
TROI: "Captain ..."
PICARD: "No, Counselor! I may be old, but I have enough faculties left to know that I wasn't having sex with her, when The Boy was conceived! And another thing: Beverly, listen to how I pronounce 'croissant' and say it with me ..."
Crusher: "...what's everyone looking at me for?"
Riker: "It's just that when you show up here, you usually give some sort of exposition about a medical crisis. Like Deanna telling us she senses something or Worf saying a ship's approaching."
Crusher: "Is that all we are to you? One note characters?"
Riker: "...yes?"
Crusher: "Data! You're taking my suggestion to tapdance on his grave a little too seriously!"
Picard: "Well now you've gone and done it, Counselor. You bored her to sleep!"
Crusher: "...I was sleeping until you started yelling!"
A split-second later, the hastily set up gurney folded in on itself.
Riker: "I think I'll pass on the Starfleet Scout cookies. At least until we get uniforms that let us breathe a little."
Riker: No, doctor, there is definitely something wrong with you.
Worf: The universe is not walking around as if it is all alone on the Enterprise.
Crusher: Computer, what is the state of the universe?
Troi: Beverly, we're RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.
Crusher: ...a soaring soul, as free as a MOU-tain bird --
Data: What a fascinating melody. I will wait until some inopportune moment and then sing it loudly.
Crusher: Look, prescribing brandy worked for another chief surgeon on the Enterprise I could mention.
Picard: He was prescribing it, not drinking it. Besides, madame wino, you're not even limiting yourself to Chateau Picard!
Crusher: I've determined the source of the infection.
Geordi: What was it, doc?
Crusher: Apple watch.
Crusher: I'm here to drink soda and save lives, and I'm all outta Cherry Soda!
Riker: You are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too perky.
Riker: ``What? Wesley is really Picard's father?!''
This is literally the third time I've seen the original picture be funnier than any caption for it could be.
Crusher: ``I suppose you're right. This is a very large plastic bag filled with frosting to cover my desk.''
Man, the Enterprise-D even hosts pompous, boring raves.
Riker: ``Is it really Hop Like A Kangaroo Day again already?''
Crusher: "There's never food..."
Picard: "At leash your head doesn't reflect the sun."
Troi: "And how does that make you feel?"
Crusher: "Data! You...you will have to clean that up!"
Geordi: "I don't understand what the lipstick has to do with anything..."
Worf: "If the Borg moves, shoot Dr. Crusher."
Worf: "Doctor, are you here to report on Picard's condition?"
Crusher: "No, I am here to congratulate Will on his promotion to Captain."
Riker: "Whaaaat?"
Troi: "And how does that make you feel?"
Crusher: "I found this box in Ten Forward. Whatever is inside vibrates...'
TFTW Leadhead!
Crusher: Now I've had a go at command I'd like to do a few shifts as chief of security.
Data: I am now ready to dance at the wedding?
Crusher: Nah, I've been teaching you to dance at the hen do.
Data: The hen do?
Crusher: We're going to need a stripper.
Troi: I'm sensing... the Captain isn't wearing pants.
Crusher: That's why you should knock before barging in.
Picard: Verdict Doctor?
Crusher: After extensive medical research I can confirm... it's a Borg.
McFadden: Have you seen my replacement? I'll be back in a year!
Crusher: Now I've had a go at command I'd like to do a few shifts as chief of security.
Data: I am now ready to dance at the wedding?
Crusher: Nah, I've been teaching you to dance at the hen do.
Data: The hen do?
Crusher: We're going to need a stripper.
Troi: I'm sensing... the Captain isn't wearing pants.
Crusher: That's why you should knock before barging in.
Picard: Verdict Doctor?
Crusher: After extensive medical research I can confirm... it's a Borg.
McFadden: Have you seen my replacement? I'll be back in a year!
Riker: And who is this...Captain Picard?
Dr. Crusher: Oh hell, not one of these again.
Picard: Doctor, it has come to our attention that between your work schedule, commanding night shifts, and directing plays, you don't actually have any time to sleep.
Dr. Crusher: Look, the sickbay has a full stock of stimulants. It all works out.
Bev: Well, the Galactic Superintelligent Space Entity Coalition Report came out. Apparently, intelligent entities around the galaxy listed the Klingon species as a "Spacefaring Cult of Chivalry."
Troi: Did they say anything about Betazoids?
Bev: Oh yes, quite favorable - "Advanced Emotional Quotient Planetary Healers."
Riker: And Humans?
Bev: "Interstellar Merchants of Pointing Out Obvious Double Entendres."
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Worf: ...Ouch.
Riker: That's what she said.
(Submitted for a friend)
Dr Crusher had the perfect case for Stump The Chumps on Car Talk.
"If it's makin' a creaking, grinding noise, don't worry about it. That's perfectly natural for even factory-new drones. Just make sure you keep it lubricated -- but don't let my brother do the work!"
"Don't let MY brother do the work!"
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