TNG Caption This! #399: Captions of Love

[2takesfrakes]

"Beverly, why must it be so dark in here? I can't see what the hell I'm doing, with this wine. I'm not even sure I'm getting all of this into the glass. Is there something you don't want me to see? Does your quarters have a roach problem? Is that it? Let me call Geordi, or one of his team, to come spray all the baseboards and crevices ..."

"Oh! Here we go!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

How about this:

 

[Triskelion]

Data: Jenna, this is up. Up is good. This is down. Down is no.

 

[Mojochi]

Thanks for picking mine

Beverly: Wesley sent the funniest communique today...

Picard: (pouring... pouring... pouring) Let me see if I have another bottle of this

Troi: You should grow a beard. I've never kissed you with a beard before. Who knows? I might like it

K'Ehleyr: Birth control? Yeah, sure... whatever. Enough with the small talk.

Data thought it prudent to test his kiss pressure calculations, to avoid the risk of caving Jenna's teeth in.

Riker: Your antibiotic or mine?

 

[Nerys Myk]

CRUSHER: Thank you. My date should be here any minute

 

[Triskelion]

Picard: You know, I just stomped these grapes myself this morning.
Bev: And I haven't shaved anything for weeks!
Picard: Ooh, la la!
Bev: Mm, toejammy!

Troi: The Third House of Rixx has an opening for a new Mister Homn. Interested?
Riker: Depends - would I have to disinfect 'lucky' wine-foot-stained bowling shoes every day?
Troi: Um, no?
Riker: I'm in!

K'Ehleyr: I'm not in the mood. Why don't you go toss your own stool around for a while.

Jenna: Are you testing the human aphorism 'You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friends' nose?'
Data: No. I am just really hungry.

Riker: Let's video record what Geordi keeps in his nightstand and upload it to Qtube.

 

[tharpdevenport]

"Hey, baby, how'd you like to see 50 shades of beard?"

 

[2takesfrakes]

>>SNORT!!!<<

"Hey, baby, how'd you like to see 50 shades of beard?"

((...snicker))

 

[inflatabledalek]

Picard: Remember the last time Valentine's Day was right after a Friday the 13th?

Crusher: Oh yes, it was when I let the ghost of my Grandmother's dead lover get on top of me. Crazy times.

Riker: When they gave me this job they said I'd probably have to carry the Captain, but I didn't think that extended to the whole crew. Or so literally.

Worf was about to learn what a serious mistake it was not to notice the woman he was about to have full on wild Klingon sex with had just accidentally turned his communicator on and would now broadcast the entire event to the whole crew.

For the second time in a month.

Data: I learnt this trick from Brokback Mountain.

*SPIT*

Riker: Sorry darling, but you're going to have to leave now. The only person I'll be loving tonight is myself.

 

[Rat Boy]

"First Officer's Personal Log: Supplemental...

"...the Red Room is all set to go."

 

[Triskelion]

Woman: I'm ready for my debriefing, Commander.
Riker: That's what she said.
Woman: Who is this 'she?'
Riker: I dunno.... Computer, who is the 'she' in 'That's what she said?'
Computer: Regina, Countess Bartholomew-Moriarty.

 

[Smellincoffee]

Picard: Beverly, I realize this looks altogether romantic, but I only invited you over to get an update on my prostate exam.

Troi: I vant to suck your blood.
Riker: Really, Sirtis?
Sirtis: They told me to effect an East European accent! It's the only one I know.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Riker T. Williams: And my mom let me remodel the basement to look like Riker's quarters!


Womn (thinking): Screw you e-harmony!

 

[Armored Saint]

KAMALA: Should we call the ship's counselor for a Ménage à Troi?

 

[T'Girl]

Troi: Is that a phaser in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

What was that Deanna? I was distracted by staring at that woman's ass.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Riker: What do you mean, you faked every orgasm?!?

 

[tharpdevenport]

Troi: Is that a phaser in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Riker: "Yeah, it is. A type-1."

Troi: "Oh, I was hoping for a Type-2, maybe even a Type-3."

Riker: "We can still go to my quarters and do it, right?"

Troi: "Sorry, you're not my Type."

 

[LeadHead]

The New Contest Begins!