LaForge: "What the hell is this?"
O'Brien (OS): "It was a vat of Nausicaan chili."
LaForge: "Jesus!"
TNG Caption This! #397: Geordi of All Trades
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LaForge: "What the hell is this?"
O'Brien (OS): "It was a vat of Nausicaan chili."
LaForge: "Jesus!"
Geordi: So that's what the viewscreen looks like from back here!
Geordi: ...and so I've come up with a plan to get real live girls to come to these staff meetings.
Riker: Woo-hoo!
Riker: Yes, I'll cover the hull breach until you get back, Geordi. No need to go all "Little Dutch Boy" on me.
Worf goes from Robin Hood's Little John to Animal House's John Belushi in three seconds flat.
Geordi: La Forge to Ten Forward. Guinan, your new hat just arrived.
PICARD (over comm): Picard to transporter room. Has my luggage arrived?
WORF: I clearly said no "Stairway"!
GEORDI: Riker. Picard. I need those engines back online. Data, I need a course plotted so we can leave once the engines are up and running.
PICARD: You're not in command.
GEORDI: But I have a gold shirt!
PICARD: That was TOS!
GEORDI: Yep, that's superglue, alright.
Robin Leffler (OS): "Hahaha ... Geordi! It looks like you're holding a phallic symbol and you're grabbing it by the balls!"
La Forge: "Here comes the hot stepper, murderer
I'm the lyrical gangster, murderer"
Riker: "Why are you way down there? When someone offers you a piece of gum, always say yes. Co*halitosis*ugh"
La Forge: "I'm telling you Commander, I can see a facial imprint of Counselor Troi's face right there. WTF? Amiright? "
The moment two of Dr. Crushers fantasies coalesce.
La Forge: "I don't know Wes, someone's going to have to sit O'Brien down and have a serious talk about his sweetener addiction."
"Not it"
Geordi: A, you're adorable, B, you're so beautiful, C, you're a -
Christy Henshaw: Geordi, we need to talk....
Geordi: If this is a meeting of the Double Top Secret Beardfleet Officers Club, shouldn't Worf be here?
Data: Technically Commander Worf has a Van Dyke.
Picard: That Chin Puff? I don't think so. It barely surpasses a Fu Manchu!
Geordi: But so had you, Captain, in Future Imperfect, and you're eligible, sir.
Data: You are overlooking All Good Things, Geordi, in which Captain Picard sports a fine, full, dignified beard.
Geordi: If that was a fine, full, dignified beard, then we either have to get Q to alter the beard constant of the universe, or we'd have to let Wesley into the club.
Riker: That face fungus? We might as well let in Deanna and Ro. Besides, he grows it as Wil, not as Wesley.
Geordi: As the nobly chevroned Commander Scott said, you cannae change the laws of beard physics, Captain.
Riker: Chevroned? I'll swear it was a Painter's Brush. Even skirting dangerously close to the Walrus zone.
Picard: It was a very different time, Number One. That facial hair all belonged to a different breed of Starfleet officer. Space must have seemed a whole lot bigger then.
Data: They were a little slower to invoke the Beard Directive, and a little quicker to pull their shavers. Of course, the whole bunch of them would be booted out of Beardfleet today, not having a fine, full, dignified beard.
Geordi: Again with that....
Picard: Not only does good conscience demand it, the Prime Beard Directive commands it. We go Full Goatee. I'll just have to do a Robin Hood episode, sport a Van Dyke, and we let in Mister Worf and tell Wesley he'll turn out as baldy-jawed as that underwear model Q turned him into. Agreed?
Geordi & Riker: Agreed.
Data: Would it help if I grew a chin curtain?
Picard: Dismissed.
Data: Guys? <Alone in room> Mutton chops?
Worf: Seen the Captain's new Van Dy-?
Geordi: Ixnay on the oup-say ainer-stray! Aldy-Bay aw-jays about! Ide-say urns-bay!
Beverly: Sideburns? Hey, whatcha talking about?
Worf: <Smashes lute>
Geordi <whispering>: Nice save, Van Dyke.
Geordi: And there's another biomolecular stain! We'd better ask for another hotel room, Commander. Maybe the fifth time's a charm.
Riker: Never ask a guy with UV vision on a road trip....
Geordi: Boy, Galaxy's Child sure uses a lot of tampons.
Wesley: Good thing Guinan was aboard.
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Acting Captain's Personal Log: Having tried out all three command chairs I am surprised to discover that Captain Picard and Counsellor Troi have identical ass groves.
Geordi: Sir, with all due respect we should get a table without a wonky leg rather than having me hold it steady all meeting.
Geordi: No good Sir, I read rainbow, not grey metal walls.
Worf: Hey Geordi, isn't it great we've both come as Robin Hood characters to the Captain's fancy dress party?
Geordi: What fancy dress party?
Geordi: We'll have to do a level one diagnostic, but I think it's broken.
Acting Captain's Personal Log: Having tried out all three command chairs I am surprised to discover that Captain Picard and Counsellor Troi have identical ass groves.
Geordi: Sir, with all due respect we should get a table without a wonky leg rather than having me hold it steady all meeting.
Geordi: No good Sir, I read rainbow, not grey metal walls.
Worf: Hey Geordi, isn't it great we've both come as Robin Hood characters to the Captain's fancy dress party?
Geordi: What fancy dress party?
Geordi: We'll have to do a level one diagnostic, but I think it's broken.
DATA: "Commander, it appears the aliens are not reacting to your cute-puppy-head-tilt strategy, might I suggest attempting the cute-kitten-playing-with-a-ball-of yarn tactic"
GEORDI: "Yo Riker, this is how you pull off the cute-puppy-head-tilt strategy!"
Geordi: I'm just saying, five minutes and I can convert this thing into an air hockey table.
Geordi: "Captain, if you just give me one more chance, I'm sure I can make the conference table work as a pool table."
Picard: "You tried to hit my head into the corner pocket."
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