That was 1:15 of a great trailer, but everything starts going downhill once the awesome Mosasaur stadium scene is over. The update to the park design is excellent, the inclusion of aquatic dinosaurs is great, the new bubble vehicles and monorails are cool, and the sheer number of potential Dino-McNuggets... I mean park visitors, raises the stakes dramatically.
But then they start talking about hybrid dinos, which is looking like a mix of the T.rex with Raptor's intelligence and Spinosaurus' powerful arms and claws, complete with a mix of all three dinosaur's signature sounds, and I start tuning out. Because there are plenty of real dinosaurs they haven't used yet, ones from the books that haven't been shown on film (the chameleon dinosaurs), and there's no reason why they couldn't do new and amazing things with the dinosaurs they've used before. You don't constantly have to one-up the T.rex. The T.rex is exciting enough on its own. Now, it's not terrible ideas like the human/dino hybrids from the original JP4 concept, and it could still turn out okay, but I kind of groaned at that part. Plus, even if you're trying to grab the attention of a bored, disaffected public, I can't buy the idea that you'd create an unpredictable hybrid of your two or three most dangerous dinosaurs that's intelligent and possibly too big for your fences to contain.
I like Chris Pratt. I think he's funny in the lovable doofus sense, and think he's great in
Guardians of the Galaxy and
Parks & Recreation. But I can't take him seriously when he's trying to be dramatic Chris Pratt and telling us how "She will KEILLL anything that moves!" He's just not believable as a paleontologist or a wildlife expert.
Which brings us to the worst scene of the trailer. At first I thought maybe they were just releasing Raptors in some sort of cruel horse race toward food or something, to show the decadence of the park and visitors. Then Chris Pratt shows up borrowing Captain America's motorcycle. Okay. Then the Raptors start running in formation with Star Lord, and I was like WTF!? Which means he's either trained a group of Raptor friends or he's coated himself in Raptor hormones or some shit so they think he's one of them, and they're all going off to fight the hybrid like a Dino Justice League. Fuck you, trailer. Raptors don't make friends. There's no I in Raptor Team, because they clawed out your eye and ate it after setting up a decoy to distract you.
Stuff like the kids in peril thing is unfortunately just a feature the
Jurassic Park filmmakers seem to consider necessary at this point, and it can go either way. There were obviously going to be kids in peril regardless since it was an amusement park again, but I don't know if it's really necessary to include them as main characters as a way for kids in the audience to relate. They'll just dig it for the dinosaurs. It's kind of weird that their parents sent them off to an amusement park without them, and then taunted the young kid with jokes about being eaten when, you know, that's something that's actually happened three times before (four if you count San Diego separately).
