Stress & Anxiety - How do you cope?

[Amaris]

I tough it out, which is probably the worst thing you can do. Don't tough it out. Seriously. If someone says to tough it out, you ignore that bad advice.

This.

I usually tough it out through exercise and meditation. I agree, it's the worse advice because what works for me may not work for someone else.

Meditation is hard for me these days because I never know when I'll have 5-10 minutes to focus. I miss meditation, because while it doesn't do a lot, every little bit helps.

What really works, though, is physical contact. A good hug can help me calm down, but it has to be from someone who isn't the source of my particular stress.

 

[Peach Wookiee]

Swimming, hugs from my nieces, sewing, exercise bike, anime, online shows, hot baths, excessive cleaning, screaming in my car, baking...

 

[jaz'a]

I suffer fairly bad anxiety - for context, at it's worst I was incapable of work. Admittedly it was a combo of issues that caused that. I can't medicate because I'm also bi-polar and my medicine for that is so high that essentially if it doesn't calm my anxiety, nothing will.

I manage me primarily through preventative action. I recommend that you work out what your primary triggers on. You can't do anything now about the extra pressure of Christmas (except plan to plan for it better next year - you know it is coming), but you can minimise other triggers. For example, if been around people can cause your anxiety to rise then make sure you plan regular time alone to come down from. If the extra pressure from work is an issue, see if you can minimise it. What can go wrong, and if it does how will you deal with it? This stops the anxiety from rising before it gets to a point you can't deal cope anymore. It's extra effort, certainly more than popping a pill, but it works much better than reacting.

I also make sure I do things I find relaxing prior to the anxiety getting to an unmanageable level. That's just as much preventative as dealing with the triggers - which unfortunately can't always be done.

If I manage that badly then my options are limited. My anxiety is very much linked to other people, so I have to get some serious alone time. I will basically hide for 12 - 48 hours. I think my longest in the last few years was 4 days. During that time, it doesn't matter what I do. So long as it doesn't involve people. I watch netflix, listen to music, read, read (but not post on) forums. Long showers. Anything I can do at home and doesn't involve work really. Thankfully my work is very understanding, as are Australian employment laws, and taking a day off work occasionally as a result doesn't cause a problem. I am very lucky in that regards.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

I inform myself that my anxiety is a biochemical fail in my brain and that it is bullshit.

This actually helps a lot because it stops me fruitlessly focusing on circumstances which either are not actually causing anxiety but being blamed for it in my mind or which are constants that I'm not going to see change any time soon. I consider it a biochemical fail because it does nothing positive. It's not like a fear response that saves your life.

 

[bbailey861]

I do PT (Physical training). Physical activity is a great way to relieve stress. I go to the gym a lot and bought a spin bike for the house. Besides relieving stress, it lets me eat and drink pretty much what I want, too, which also helps me reduce stress.

 

[rhubarbodendron]

Walking/hiking. The combination of exercise and being outdoors helps.

I second that. Also, lots of chocolate and - if available - someone who just takes you into his/her arms

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

someone who just takes you into his/her arms

You called?

 

[Pondwater]

What really works, though, is physical contact. A good hug can help me calm down, but it has to be from someone who isn't the source of my particular stress.

Definitely!!

 

[Amaris]

What really works, though, is physical contact. A good hug can help me calm down, but it has to be from someone who isn't the source of my particular stress.

Definitely!!

I've got great hugging arms, and I'm soft in huggable places, so you know, just sayin'.

 

[sidious618]

Booze and baseball. Those usually do the trick.

my advice to you is to start drinking heavily.

No. People who suffer from chronic anxiety/mental illness should not turn to alcohol.

Exercise is a great way to manage stress. It's not a cure all but it's helpful and it gets you in shape.

 

[Pondwater]

What really works, though, is physical contact. A good hug can help me calm down, but it has to be from someone who isn't the source of my particular stress.

Definitely!!

I've got great hugging arms, and I'm soft in huggable places, so you know, just sayin'.

*takes notes*

 

[Skellington]

The current issue of Focus magazine, which I read yesterday, has an article on stress and stress management. I found it quite timely, as I'm currently sandwiched between what will probably turn out to be two very stressful weeks at work. Anyway, it includes this TED talk from Dr Kelly McGonigal, which I hope others will find as instructive and entertaining as I did:

http://www.ted.com/talks/kelly_mcgonigal_how_to_make_stress_your_friend?language=en

 

[rhubarbodendron]

maybe you can also find a few useful ideas in the replies to my thread about PTSD/anxiety problems (a huge hug for all who contributed! You know: a hug a day keeps the psychatrist away )

 

[2takesfrakes]

I, for one, call on My Faith ...

I've always found inspiration in a Biblical story where all of The Apostles are in a boat during a storm and they see what they think is a ghost, walking on water. When it turns out to be Jesus calling out to them, Peter is the one - the only one - who gets out of that safe, warm boat and into the storm (to walk on water with Jesus). As I say, I took that message to heart. I guess I want to be the one that's walking on water, instead of panicking over every storm, in perceived safety.

Rediscovering how to "Turn the other cheek" and to forgive, to be in control of your own happiness and not have it depend on how others treat you - that's what I'm talking about when I say, "I call on my Faith." Though Roman Catholicism isn't my only support, it is the only support that I know I can always rely on. Having friends and various interests and outlets helps me cope, like playing guitar, for instance. Exercise is very useful and beneficial. In a way, too, I find that being an Artist is almost theraputic. And when I'm in a new relationship, especially, nothing seems to get me down.

 

[Melakon]

What really works, though, is physical contact. A good hug can help me calm down, but it has to be from someone who isn't the source of my particular stress.

This is part of my problem, since I have no close family or even a close friend I can talk to if needing comfort. There's a cat, but she could care less whether I'm even in the room, unless she wants something like food (as she seems to be rather unsubtly hinting right now). Dogs are better at picking up on mood swings. The last time I got a hug from someone I was emotionally close to was in the 20th century.

My virtual son J. notwithstanding.

 

[rhubarbodendron]

I can wholeheartedly recommend rats: they are natural born clowns and you'll find it hard to keep a stiff upper lip when you have a bunch of pet rats playing their tricks on each other or on you (try wriggling your toes in the bath tub with a bunch of curious rats around: you'll end up with said very wet rats sitting on your head and complaining loudly about those slippery human bathtubs *snicker*).
Contrary to dogs, for rats you'll not be the boss but a family member and they'll treat you accordingly.
When I had a pneumonia and felt really very bad my pack which usually spread terror, chaos and mayhem snuggled up to me on the sofa all evening and groomed me.
They even tried to comfort my parents' dog when his mate had to be eutanized.

 

[Bisz]

I cope with stress by putting things into perspective.

There are over a hundred billion galaxies, each one with over a hundred billion stars. In all of that enormous hugeastity, I am one person out of seven billion. In the grand scheme of things I don't fucking matter, let alone some trivial problem of mine.

After I feel better about my problems being inconsequential, I pick myself up by looking at things from the exact opposite perspective. I the entirety of the hugetacticness of the universe, I am the only one like me, I am unique, a special little snowflake.

QED.

Problems are only as large, or as small, as we allow them to be. We are as ordinary, or as special, as we allow ourselves to be.

 

[Bisz]

But seriously, I go on a long walk.

 

[Sector 7]

Oh, I'm going to change my answer. While I do tough it out the majority of the time, what does take the edge off is, well, ponies. It was My Little Pony that kept me from going down an even darker tunnel, and while the pain and pressure is still very high, I do manage to cope thanks to those sweet little pastel ponies.

I'd have to be high to watch those pony cartoons, but HUGS do work wonders. I have 2 teenage boys who have adopted me as a father figure. I don't think they realize how much it means when they give me a spontaneous hug. It brightens my life for days!

I cope with stress by putting things into perspective.

There are over a hundred billion galaxies, each one with over a hundred billion stars. In all of that enormous hugeastity, I am one person out of seven billion. In the grand scheme of things I don't fucking matter, let alone some trivial problem of mine.

After I feel better about my problems being inconsequential, I pick myself up by looking at things from the exact opposite perspective. I the entirety of the hugetacticness of the universe, I am the only one like me, I am unique, a special little snowflake.

QED.

Problems are only as large, or as small, as we allow them to be. We are as ordinary, or as special, as we allow ourselves to be.

Star Trek taught me that when I was a 14 year old boy contemplating suicide:

"Something I seldom say to a customer, Jim. In this galaxy, there's a mathematical probability of three million Earth-type planets. And in all of the universe, three million million galaxies like this. And in all of that and perhaps more, only one of each of us. Don't destroy the one named Kirk."
--DR. MCCOY, Star Trek: The Original Series, "Balance of Terror"

 

[rhubarbodendron]

^One of the regretably rare instances Kirk listened to advice.

I absolutely agree with dr MacCoy: the shittiest life is still a good deal better than the best death in my honest opinion.

Trying to set things into perspective works with smaller problems. But during an anxiety fit or in the midst of a severe depression nobody is able to think logically. That complicates matters considerably.
If you still have a little bit control left over your actions, physical exertion is really the best you can do. For example, hike or run until you are quite exhausted. Running gives you the feeling of getting away from your problems. And that gives you a chance to recover, regroup your wits and get both physical and emotional distance to the problem. Then you might be calm enough to analyze the situation.

If possible, dissect the big looming problem into small sub-problems of a size you can handle.
For example: If you're in debt over your ears, make a list of the people you owe money, pick the nicest ones, explain the situation to them and ask them if you could possibly get a bit more time. Or alternatively, pick the worst one and pay that one first so that you have him off your heels. This way you can break down the huge debt problem into several small debt problems which you can solve one by one.

The same method works with other probs as well. Just dissect them into portions you can handle. With unknown problems, try to find single components of them that you know how to solve. It can give you a clue as to how to solve the whole thing. It's much like unravelling something knitted.

Most important, though: talk. Don't withdraw from people and hide in your lair like a wounded animal. Talk with people! Come here and post about it! You need all the emotional backup you can get and often outsiders see a solution you overlooked.