A "lady of the night" asked me out

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Ooooooooooooooo

But I mean in Twilight. I already have Eric and Spike, I'm wondering if Twilight can provide me with third blonde.

 

[thestrangequark]

You're asking the wrong girl. I have standards.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Someone must know. They could post this information anonymously.

 

[thestrangequark]

Here, just look at this and forget about Twilight:



It's really better for everyone that way.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

It's just I have this blonde vamp hoarding problem.. I need MORE. What if one meets the true death? I have to be prepared I have to have some backup.

Also would really like to run my hand up his back in the photo.

Back up and up back and.

 

[thestrangequark]

See, here's the thing about Twilight. It's not that it's just fun to make fun of, it's that it actually is shit. Like, really, really bad shit. Like, hippo-shit bad. Like, just the worst fucking garbage ever.

And you don't want to taint your beautiful blonde vampires with that odiferous ass water.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

I dunno, I think if I remove a blonde one from Twilight and rehouse it with my Eric and Spike it might be improved. See, I'm all about making men better.

 

[thestrangequark]

I can draw a better blonde vampire than you'll find in Twilight in five minutes. And being two dimensional, my drawing will have more depth.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Okay I will get my order ready. Dimensions of important parts, etc..

 

[thestrangequark]

 

[thestrangequark]

Oh, it says "A 5 minute shit drawing. Still better than Twilight."

 

[Gaith]

Well, this thread has gotten... dada.

Only puppies can save it now.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^ So... what if a lady of the night asks to walk your puppies while you burn a copy of Twilight?

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

OMG!!!

THANK YOU!!! you are the best sister wife ever!!!!!!

<3 <3 <3

 

[thestrangequark]

^Any time!

 

[Captain Kathryn]

Keep in mind if you develop a relationship, you will probably want her to stop...you know, doing it with other dudes.

Be mindful of STDs.

 

[thestrangequark]

^Well, maybe. Like I said, I've known plenty of people dating sex-workers who are totally cool with it. Takes all kinds.

He (teacake's vamp) looks vaguely like Benedict Cumberbatch. That was not intentional, but understandable.

 

[Trekker4747]

To be.... "sort of fair" to the Twilight "vampires" (from the movies, at least) I *could* see Carlise being an "attractive" vampire given that he has conventionally good looks, is rich and is blessed with incredible self-control to the point he is, and coverts others to, "vegetarian" vampirism. Also sort of a "match maker" in the series by "adopting" young vampire teens/young adults, converting them to "vegetarianism" and then hooking them up with a mate.

So, of all the Twilight "vampires" I think Carlise is the "best."

(It's not much of a competition, though.)

 

[CorporalClegg]

"Twilight" and "best" should never be used in the same sentence.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

"Twilight" and "best" should never be used in the same sentence.

That's very paradoxical of you, CC.