Movie Caption Contest #229:

Discussion in 'Star Trek Movies I-X' started by LeadHead, Jan 13, 2013.

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  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
    Hello everyone and welcome to the new contest!


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    First up to the plate, we have the "Zapp Brannigan's Ship to Ship intimacy" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Logical Response" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Constructive Criticism" Award, going to:

    We have an extra award, going to:


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    Congratulations to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated!

    Lets keep things going!

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    Enjoy!
     
  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
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    Picard: Our plan of attack is the people who have never spoken on screen to go in first. Data, Worf and I will wait and see if any of you survive before going in.

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    Kirk: Remember, if it's an attractive woman who broke into my quarters, I'll handle it myself.

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    Spock: Okay, so maybe Scotty isn't the best engineer in the fleet.
     
  3. Mage

    Mage Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jun 17, 2007
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    Picard realized to late that his idea to send in the security teams as cannon fodder for the Borg should have been mentioned BEFORE he gave them phaser rifles.
     
  4. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Just passing through.
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    If any of you are assimilated...please disregard the Locutus memory engrams of my time at Utopia Planetia with Scoutmaster Rick.
     
  5. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Patrolling Sector 2814
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    Picard: Okay, that last engagement was a disaster. Crewman, I told you to fire a warning shot across the Borg's nose, not up it!

    Crewman: Sorry sir! I'm doing my best!

    Picard: Who gave that man a phaser?

    Lt. Asshole: I did sir. He's my cousin.

    Picard: Who is he?

    Worf: He's an asshole, sir.

    Picard: I know that! What's his name?

    Worf: That is his name sir. Asshole, Lt. Asshole!

    Picard: And his cousin?

    Worf: He's an asshole too sir. Ensign Philip Asshole!

    Picard: How many assholes do we have on this ship, anyway?

    [Everyone other than Picard, Worf, and Data raise their phaser rifle]

    Entire Security Detail: Yo!

    Picard: I knew it. I'm surrounded by assholes! Alright, let's try this again, and keep firing, assholes!

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    Kirk: So, let me get this straight, we're in the 23rd Century and the most effective way you guys have to seal off quarters is some tape and a box with red and green lights? Where's the forcefield? Who's responsible for this piss-poor job of securing Spock's quarters?

    Lt.: That would be me sir, Lt. Asshole.

    Kirk: Forget it, I'm not doing this bit again...

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    Saavik: Mr. Spock, take a note: Chili night is to be cancelled from now on...
     
  6. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

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    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    KIRK: Could you guys play old-timey football on your own time? We got a security breach here!
     
  7. R. Star

    R. Star Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Shangri-La
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    Picard: So, any questions?
    Goldshirt: Sir, don't you think it's a bad idea to take the one guy who knows how to access the computers with us on the mission?
    Data: My study on dramatic plots indicates the odds of my capture at 98.836 percent.
    Picard: Who cares? Make it so.

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    Kirk: So we have cheesy leather vests and helmets? At least we -try- and protect our security personnel unlike those 24th century hosers.

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    Saavik: Captain Spock? Wake up! The abandon ship order was just issued.
    Spock: I just had a vision of my future. If I survive, I'll end up going back in time and causing the destruction of Vulcan. Much better I die with dignity here.
     
  8. BriGuy

    BriGuy Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Pittsburgh, PA, USA
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    Spock: My apologies. I should have instead insulted generations of McCoys.
     
  9. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
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    SAAVIK: Will this affect my GPA?
     
  10. Herkimer Jitty

    Herkimer Jitty Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2008
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    Dayglow, New California Republic
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    Picard: "The Borg are far deadlier than anything you've encountered in all of your encounters. Except that last encounter, of course, because that's when you encountered them."

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    Kirk: "How'd he get in? We had the 'no entry' tape up! Unless... our culprit doesn't know how to read! He could be unstoppable!"

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    Saavik: "Worst. Pink Floyd concert. Ever."
     
  11. Balrog

    Balrog Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2008
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    Balrog
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    Picard: Rifles up everyone who's scared shitless.

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    Kirk: Guards, make sure no one enters this room until I come and get you.
    Guard #1: Not to enter the room... even if you come and get us.
    Guard #2: <hic!>
    Kirk: No, no. Until I come and get you.
    Guard #1: Until you come and get us, we're not to leave the room.
    Kirk: No, no, no. You stay here and make sure no one enters.
    Guard #1: And you'll come and get us.
    Guard #2: <hic!>
    Kirk: Right.
    Guard #1: We don't need to do anything, apart from just stop anyone from leaving the room.
    Kirk: No, no. Entering the room.
    Guard #1: Entering the room, yes.
    Kirk: All right?
    Guard #2: <hic!>
    Guard #1: Right. Oh, if, if, if, uh, if, if, uh, if, if, if, we... oh, if... oh...
    Kirk: Look, it's quite simple. You just stay here, and make sure no one enters the room. All right?
    Guard #2: <hic!>
    Guard #1: Oh, I remember, uh, can someone enter the room with us?
    Kirk: No, no, no, no, you just keep them out of here, and make sure...
    Guard #1: Oh yeah, we'll keep them out here, obviously, but if they had to enter, and we were with them...
    Kirk: No, just keep them here...
    Guard #1: Until you, or anyone else...
    Kirk: No, not anyone else. Just me.
    Guard #1: Just you.
    Guard #2: <hic!>
    Kirk: Get back.
    Guard #1: Get back.
    Kirk: All right?
    Guard #1: Right, we'll stay here until you get back.


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    Spock: Maybe I shouldn't have had that second bowl of termites after all...
     
  12. Herkimer Jitty

    Herkimer Jitty Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Picard: "You, you, and you: Panic. The rest of you are with me."
     
  13. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
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    CARL: It's medicinal. I got a prescription from McCoy, if you want to see it.
     
    Last edited: Jan 14, 2013
  14. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Just passing through.
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    Picard: Let me...just go change my shirt.


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    Phasers ready, gentlemen. The giant space ovum was last seen in here.


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    Spock: In the future when another ship captain wishes to come alongside and lock on, you might merely say "permission denied" - instead of presenting the docking bay and then torpedoing him between the nacelles.
     
  15. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

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    PICARD (thinking): Perhaps I should have explained the plan for a frontal assault spearheaded by security before I passed out the weapons.
     
  16. inflatabledalek

    inflatabledalek Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2011
     
  17. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

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    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
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    CARL: "Ah man, this is some primo shit. Jim's turned into a Vulcan bird... the kind who looks she'll get even hotter and wider as the years pass."
     
  18. captain crow

    captain crow Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2009
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    Saavik: These cloud entities are all over the ship! What should we do?!

    Spock: First, let this one between my legs finish what it's doing and maybe let the one behind it have a go. Then, beam them into space and get me a cigarette.



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    Spock: I think I just followed through.
     
  19. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Saavik: "Captain! I can see steam coming out of your pants!"
    Spock: "Oh, get over yourself!"
     
  20. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
    Saavik:"Captain Spock! We've been hit numerous times and the ship is coming apart around us!"

    Spock: "Relax, Lieutenant. This happens just about every week. Wake me if they actually order us to abandon ship."
     
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