Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
Clearly you're not shopping in the high-class area.
Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Moments
- Thread starter apostle83
- Start date
- Status
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
Aisle 12. Next to the vintage balsamic vinegar and hand-pressed extra virgin olive oil.
Aisle 12. Next to the vintage balsamic vinegar and hand-pressed extra virgin olive oil.
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
Where i live we have a co-op and a sumerfield they are only small so they do not have toilets but the big asda and tesco in the towns near us have toilet facilities i think there is a law now saying shops over a certin size have to have toilet facilities because when they built a 2nd floor for the tesco store they had to rent some porter loos while the work was being done.
Where i live we have a co-op and a sumerfield they are only small so they do not have toilets but the big asda and tesco in the towns near us have toilet facilities i think there is a law now saying shops over a certin size have to have toilet facilities because when they built a 2nd floor for the tesco store they had to rent some porter loos while the work was being done.
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
I live in a VERY affluent area (which I can't really afford), and NONE of the supermarkets around here have public washrooms.
I live in a VERY affluent area (which I can't really afford), and NONE of the supermarkets around here have public washrooms.
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
Well all you foreigners are odd.
I can't say I've *ever* seen a grocery store that didn't have public washrooms/bathrooms/restrooms/loos/lavatories/heads/whatevers.
Well all you foreigners are odd.
I can't say I've *ever* seen a grocery store that didn't have public washrooms/bathrooms/restrooms/loos/lavatories/heads/whatevers.
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
The one my family used to go to when I was little, up in Massachusetts (either Natick or Framingham...) had a bathroom they'd allow the public to use, but it was through the flaps in the Employees Only section, so you had to either ask about it or know it was there.
The one my family used to go to when I was little, up in Massachusetts (either Natick or Framingham...) had a bathroom they'd allow the public to use, but it was through the flaps in the Employees Only section, so you had to either ask about it or know it was there.
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
I suspect that you don't shop in too many Mom & Pop grocery stores in the 5,000 to 10,000 square foot range. In any event, at least now you understand why some of us went "Huh?" when we saw your post.
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
There's, sadly, not a whole lot of those around anymore in my area. I would say that in the (very) few of those (and small markets) I know of I wouldn't expect to see public restrooms. So let me clarify.
When you go into a large SUPERmarket with a big regional-chain name attatched to it you're a [fool] to think it doesn't have a public restroom.
There's, sadly, not a whole lot of those around anymore in my area. I would say that in the (very) few of those (and small markets) I know of I wouldn't expect to see public restrooms. So let me clarify.
When you go into a large SUPERmarket with a big regional-chain name attatched to it you're a [fool] to think it doesn't have a public restroom.
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
the one that still sends me into apocalypses of rage is the stupid bitch in 2K5 who came into my shop with a National Lottery Thunderball ticket to claim her winnings. I checked the ticket on the terminal and it came up 'not a winner'.
i politely told her, she hadn't won.
she claimed she'd won ~200 quid or some such.
i scanned the barcode again. Nope, sorry. not a winner.
she claims i'm wrong.
i politely but somewhat pointedly said the machine knows better than me whether you're a winner or not and it says you're not.
she accused me, in front of several witnesses of being a thief and stealing it. when i'm standing right in front of her all along.
i got rather pissed off at that point and told her 'how could i have stolen it when i'm right here!?!'
i then printed the numbers off for her and advised her to recheck the numbers.
that was slander. i really felt like just slapping her.
and that's without the almost daily idiocy of 'can i have a pack of cigarette papers?' uh... which?! there's like 8 sorts!
the weekly idiocy of 'have you not got any (insert newspaper name)? there's none on the shelf...' what do you think?!
after 11 years, you really think i'd be used to it by now...
the one that still sends me into apocalypses of rage is the stupid bitch in 2K5 who came into my shop with a National Lottery Thunderball ticket to claim her winnings. I checked the ticket on the terminal and it came up 'not a winner'.
i politely told her, she hadn't won.
she claimed she'd won ~200 quid or some such.
i scanned the barcode again. Nope, sorry. not a winner.
she claims i'm wrong.
i politely but somewhat pointedly said the machine knows better than me whether you're a winner or not and it says you're not.
she accused me, in front of several witnesses of being a thief and stealing it. when i'm standing right in front of her all along.
i got rather pissed off at that point and told her 'how could i have stolen it when i'm right here!?!'
i then printed the numbers off for her and advised her to recheck the numbers.
that was slander. i really felt like just slapping her.
and that's without the almost daily idiocy of 'can i have a pack of cigarette papers?' uh... which?! there's like 8 sorts!
the weekly idiocy of 'have you not got any (insert newspaper name)? there's none on the shelf...' what do you think?!
after 11 years, you really think i'd be used to it by now...
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
What always used to amuse me when I worked in a relatively small supermarket, people would always ask 'do you have any ...... out the back/do you have any more.... out the back?'
Yes, we keep an entire secret second shop 'out the back'. Where we stock everything we couldn't be bothered to stack the shelves with.
But instead of arguing, which never worked, I used to go out the back (a freezer, managers office, staff canteen, staff loo, and delivery door - thats it - and wait there for about 30 seconds before coming out sand saying 'no, sorry'....
the weekly idiocy of 'have you not got any (insert newspaper name)? there's none on the shelf...' what do you think?!
What always used to amuse me when I worked in a relatively small supermarket, people would always ask 'do you have any ...... out the back/do you have any more.... out the back?'
Yes, we keep an entire secret second shop 'out the back'. Where we stock everything we couldn't be bothered to stack the shelves with.
But instead of arguing, which never worked, I used to go out the back (a freezer, managers office, staff canteen, staff loo, and delivery door - thats it - and wait there for about 30 seconds before coming out sand saying 'no, sorry'....
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
This, roundaboutly, sounds like my daily life.
People lack the inteligence to tell me *specificly* what they want. Like, every single product in the case is clearly marked, with a unique description and all they can tell me is stuff like "a steak", "some hamburger", "a pork chop", "that there", etc. And even on the steaks there's different pre-cut weights for each variety. So just saying, "a strip steak" is just going to prompt me to grab the most expensive sized-cut of it and I'm going to wrap it for you until your dumb-ass says, "Oh, I wanted an 8oz one." WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO!!!
There's also the people who lack any reading comprehension or dedictive reasoning skills.
A case with pre-wrapped hamburger patties in it.
Each package has 3 patties in it and is marked $3.00.
Sign on the bunker that says, "5oz Hamburger Patties: 10/10.00."
The number of people who think we're selling it 10 PACKAGES for 10.00, $1 packages, lack any reading skills whatsoever and should be kicked out of the store and not allowed to comeback without a "handler."
This, roundaboutly, sounds like my daily life.
People lack the inteligence to tell me *specificly* what they want. Like, every single product in the case is clearly marked, with a unique description and all they can tell me is stuff like "a steak", "some hamburger", "a pork chop", "that there", etc. And even on the steaks there's different pre-cut weights for each variety. So just saying, "a strip steak" is just going to prompt me to grab the most expensive sized-cut of it and I'm going to wrap it for you until your dumb-ass says, "Oh, I wanted an 8oz one." WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO!!!
There's also the people who lack any reading comprehension or dedictive reasoning skills.
A case with pre-wrapped hamburger patties in it.
Each package has 3 patties in it and is marked $3.00.
Sign on the bunker that says, "5oz Hamburger Patties: 10/10.00."
The number of people who think we're selling it 10 PACKAGES for 10.00, $1 packages, lack any reading skills whatsoever and should be kicked out of the store and not allowed to comeback without a "handler."
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
Used to do medical transcription. Back in the day, it was from audio tapes; nowadays it's all digital files. But even at 90 wpm, it takes 3-4x turnaround to turn an audio file into a typed transcript. That's assuming the audio quality is good. You need to add extra time to backspace and listen several times if the audio sucks.
Can't tell you how many times a client would call and say "Hi, I've got four hours worth of tape. How much do you charge?"
I'd quote my fee, and indicate whether or not I had other jobs in queue ahead of him.
"Um, okay, so if I messenger it over to you, you can start right away?"
"Yes."
"Cool. Okay, it's 9 o'clock now. Let's say the messenger gets there by 9:30. I need the transcript back by noon."
"Um, sir? That's 2.5 hours. You're sending me four hours of tape."
"Yeah, I know. Can you put a rush on it? I'll pay you extra."
Used to do medical transcription. Back in the day, it was from audio tapes; nowadays it's all digital files. But even at 90 wpm, it takes 3-4x turnaround to turn an audio file into a typed transcript. That's assuming the audio quality is good. You need to add extra time to backspace and listen several times if the audio sucks.
Can't tell you how many times a client would call and say "Hi, I've got four hours worth of tape. How much do you charge?"
I'd quote my fee, and indicate whether or not I had other jobs in queue ahead of him.
"Um, okay, so if I messenger it over to you, you can start right away?"
"Yes."
"Cool. Okay, it's 9 o'clock now. Let's say the messenger gets there by 9:30. I need the transcript back by noon."
"Um, sir? That's 2.5 hours. You're sending me four hours of tape."
"Yeah, I know. Can you put a rush on it? I'll pay you extra."
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
That's too classic.
Used to do medical transcription. Back in the day, it was from audio tapes; nowadays it's all digital files. But even at 90 wpm, it takes 3-4x turnaround to turn an audio file into a typed transcript. That's assuming the audio quality is good. You need to add extra time to backspace and listen several times if the audio sucks.
Can't tell you how many times a client would call and say "Hi, I've got four hours worth of tape. How much do you charge?"
I'd quote my fee, and indicate whether or not I had other jobs in queue ahead of him.
"Um, okay, so if I messenger it over to you, you can start right away?"
"Yes."
"Cool. Okay, it's 9 o'clock now. Let's say the messenger gets there by 9:30. I need the transcript back by noon."
"Um, sir? That's 2.5 hours. You're sending me four hours of tape."
"Yeah, I know. Can you put a rush on it? I'll pay you extra."
That's too classic.
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
I remember one time, the last summer that I was working at Dunkin Donuts (in a mall), there was a semi-regular brazilian customer. She ordered French Vanilla coffee with some mix of cream and sugar; don't remember anymore.
But I'd only been back for a couple of weeks, so I didn't remember that--I only remember it now because of what happened, and there were quite a few regular customers who I had to remember the orders for. I also have a very hard time understanding different accents until I've been exposed to them for a while, so I decided to double-check that it was actually French Vanilla that she wanted.
She flew off the handle at me. Accused me of being racist because she ordered the same thing every day--despite the fact that I'd only been back for a couple of weeks and didn't always handle her order when she did come by. I apologized for it (being a person who doesn't seek confirmation) and explained that I had a hard time understanding other accents, and finished making the coffee, but she wouldn't have any more of it. Remember, I got yelled at because I made sure that I was making the order that she wanted.
Everyone agreed that it was BS after she left, and as a friend that I told about it later said, if I was a racist, wouldn't I want to get her out of there as quickly as possible?
I remember one time, the last summer that I was working at Dunkin Donuts (in a mall), there was a semi-regular brazilian customer. She ordered French Vanilla coffee with some mix of cream and sugar; don't remember anymore.
But I'd only been back for a couple of weeks, so I didn't remember that--I only remember it now because of what happened, and there were quite a few regular customers who I had to remember the orders for. I also have a very hard time understanding different accents until I've been exposed to them for a while, so I decided to double-check that it was actually French Vanilla that she wanted.
She flew off the handle at me. Accused me of being racist because she ordered the same thing every day--despite the fact that I'd only been back for a couple of weeks and didn't always handle her order when she did come by. I apologized for it (being a person who doesn't seek confirmation) and explained that I had a hard time understanding other accents, and finished making the coffee, but she wouldn't have any more of it. Remember, I got yelled at because I made sure that I was making the order that she wanted.
Everyone agreed that it was BS after she left, and as a friend that I told about it later said, if I was a racist, wouldn't I want to get her out of there as quickly as possible?
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
In our supermarket you some times have to ask because from about 5pm they start to most of the restocking so if its not there it can mean they have not got to that part yet.the weekly idiocy of 'have you not got any (insert newspaper name)? there's none on the shelf...' what do you think?!
What always used to amuse me when I worked in a relatively small supermarket, people would always ask 'do you have any ...... out the back/do you have any more.... out the back?'
Yes, we keep an entire secret second shop 'out the back'. Where we stock everything we couldn't be bothered to stack the shelves with.
But instead of arguing, which never worked, I used to go out the back (a freezer, managers office, staff canteen, staff loo, and delivery door - thats it - and wait there for about 30 seconds before coming out sand saying 'no, sorry'....
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
you could type really high pitched 
Used to do medical transcription. Back in the day, it was from audio tapes; nowadays it's all digital files. But even at 90 wpm, it takes 3-4x turnaround to turn an audio file into a typed transcript. That's assuming the audio quality is good. You need to add extra time to backspace and listen several times if the audio sucks.
Can't tell you how many times a client would call and say "Hi, I've got four hours worth of tape. How much do you charge?"
I'd quote my fee, and indicate whether or not I had other jobs in queue ahead of him.
"Um, okay, so if I messenger it over to you, you can start right away?"
"Yes."
"Cool. Okay, it's 9 o'clock now. Let's say the messenger gets there by 9:30. I need the transcript back by noon."
"Um, sir? That's 2.5 hours. You're sending me four hours of tape."
"Yeah, I know. Can you put a rush on it? I'll pay you extra."
you could type really high pitched 
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
The post upthread reminded me of the bane of my life when I worked at a truckstop when I was younger.
I'm sorry, "My brand" or "soft pack" is not enough detail to know what brand and flavor out a of goddess-only-know how many fucking brands on the rack behind my head you smoke.
Or
"I'm sorry sir, but your fleet-card does not allow me to charge a carton of smokes to your fuel bill...yes, yes, I know you'll get company's account pulled...no sir I wouldn't like to lose your business....tell ya' what sir, I'll call your dispatcher and ask them to authorize the charge to the fuel card...Oh, that'll be cash then? Thank you."
Which leads me into-- and I'm sure people that have worked in truckstops or gas stations know this one: Tossing you money up on the counter and walking out without telling me what pump your on is not enough to let me know which car you're paying for. And "Free coffee with fill up" does not mean "free 20oz coke or beer with fill up" it means free coffee.
Here's one from Flying-J that's a 2-fer: A dumbass customer, and a dumbasss manager trainee.
- Driver comes in to cash out his comcheck (think travelers check for truckdrivers). Go through the authorization and verification, and the check is flagged to call his supervisor is cashing is attempting. Excuse myself, make the call, and I'm told that the driver has taken so many advances out of his pay, that he owes the company money this pay-week. I'm ordered to right a number on the check and void it and send to the company. The driver blows a fuse, demands the check back, says I've stolen $300 from him, etc, etc. So the GM has me photocopy the check and give it back to the driver, and initial the void marking with the GM initialing under mine. The driver then gets pissed and tries to pick a fight saying I'd never called his dispatcher and that he KNOWs that I just stole his money and he was going to kick my ass if I didn't give it back. I lose my cool and basically let lose with a string of curses that had heads turning (hey I was young), and told him he was more than welcome to come across the counter if his fat ass could lift itself out of anything higher than the crapper in the men's room.
GM steps in and tells the guy that he can leave or he can go to jail, his choice. I'm sent on lunch shortly after-- to basically cool down.
Come back from lunch and the bookkeeper and the manager-trainee (who is cover the GM's lunch) are talking up at the register and pointing at me as I'm walking back up into "the pit". Get to my register and I'm being told that my till audit (normal when you have a comcheck go bad) is $300 short! And that I had taken a bad comcheck that I knew was bad. So I'm looking at the check (the one that me and the GM had initialed with the words VOID on the front and back) and telling the bookkeeper what happened. She says the MT is saying he saw me take the check, and that he thinks I pocketed the money. So, cue me dumping my pockets, my wallet, and calling the back office to cue up the security tapes and to pull the automatic till-logs while the MT is shifting around and not looking me or the bookkeeper in the eye. Sure enough there was a $300 check cash on my register with MT's till-code on the till-log...while I was in the restaurant eating lunch with the Restaurant manager...and a nice clear video, time stamped, of MT running my register at that time and giving the driver that we'd just run off the money.
The MT's excuse: He thought that the void-code and the words VOID written on the check meant that the check was authorized to cash. And that he didn't know that he wasn't suppose to take the check till after he asked one of the other cashiers what the words "void" meant on a check.
The post upthread reminded me of the bane of my life when I worked at a truckstop when I was younger.
I'm sorry, "My brand" or "soft pack" is not enough detail to know what brand and flavor out a of goddess-only-know how many fucking brands on the rack behind my head you smoke.
Or
"I'm sorry sir, but your fleet-card does not allow me to charge a carton of smokes to your fuel bill...yes, yes, I know you'll get company's account pulled...no sir I wouldn't like to lose your business....tell ya' what sir, I'll call your dispatcher and ask them to authorize the charge to the fuel card...Oh, that'll be cash then? Thank you."
Which leads me into-- and I'm sure people that have worked in truckstops or gas stations know this one: Tossing you money up on the counter and walking out without telling me what pump your on is not enough to let me know which car you're paying for. And "Free coffee with fill up" does not mean "free 20oz coke or beer with fill up" it means free coffee.
Here's one from Flying-J that's a 2-fer: A dumbass customer, and a dumbasss manager trainee.
- Driver comes in to cash out his comcheck (think travelers check for truckdrivers). Go through the authorization and verification, and the check is flagged to call his supervisor is cashing is attempting. Excuse myself, make the call, and I'm told that the driver has taken so many advances out of his pay, that he owes the company money this pay-week. I'm ordered to right a number on the check and void it and send to the company. The driver blows a fuse, demands the check back, says I've stolen $300 from him, etc, etc. So the GM has me photocopy the check and give it back to the driver, and initial the void marking with the GM initialing under mine. The driver then gets pissed and tries to pick a fight saying I'd never called his dispatcher and that he KNOWs that I just stole his money and he was going to kick my ass if I didn't give it back. I lose my cool and basically let lose with a string of curses that had heads turning (hey I was young), and told him he was more than welcome to come across the counter if his fat ass could lift itself out of anything higher than the crapper in the men's room.
GM steps in and tells the guy that he can leave or he can go to jail, his choice. I'm sent on lunch shortly after-- to basically cool down.
Come back from lunch and the bookkeeper and the manager-trainee (who is cover the GM's lunch) are talking up at the register and pointing at me as I'm walking back up into "the pit". Get to my register and I'm being told that my till audit (normal when you have a comcheck go bad) is $300 short! And that I had taken a bad comcheck that I knew was bad. So I'm looking at the check (the one that me and the GM had initialed with the words VOID on the front and back) and telling the bookkeeper what happened. She says the MT is saying he saw me take the check, and that he thinks I pocketed the money. So, cue me dumping my pockets, my wallet, and calling the back office to cue up the security tapes and to pull the automatic till-logs while the MT is shifting around and not looking me or the bookkeeper in the eye. Sure enough there was a $300 check cash on my register with MT's till-code on the till-log...while I was in the restaurant eating lunch with the Restaurant manager...and a nice clear video, time stamped, of MT running my register at that time and giving the driver that we'd just run off the money.
The MT's excuse: He thought that the void-code and the words VOID written on the check meant that the check was authorized to cash. And that he didn't know that he wasn't suppose to take the check till after he asked one of the other cashiers what the words "void" meant on a check.
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
Oh! I just remembered a *great* one I had just today!
"What can I get for you today ma'am?"
"Yes I want three quarters of a pound of [hamburger]."
(confirmation repeat) "Ok, so that's three-fourths of a pound of [hamburger]?"
"No, three quarters of a pound."
Oh! I just remembered a *great* one I had just today!
"What can I get for you today ma'am?"
"Yes I want three quarters of a pound of [hamburger]."
(confirmation repeat) "Ok, so that's three-fourths of a pound of [hamburger]?"
"No, three quarters of a pound."
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
Right up there with one I've heard all to often: "Change for a dollar...no sir/maam, there 4 quarters in a dollar, not <insert number>"
Anyone had this one: "I'm sorry, but we can't sell (insert product) by the cup/tablespoon....I know that the recipe cards says 1 (insert measure) but we can't open a bag/box just to give you 1 (measure) of (product)"
Or have someone ask for the kind of beef vegetarians eat? (should note that the latter one was asked by a very sweet old lady whose husband had just been put on a strict diet that didn't know what the word "vegetarian" meant)
Oh! I just remembered a *great* one I had just today!
"What can I get for you today ma'am?"
"Yes I want three quarters of a pound of [hamburger]."
(confirmation repeat) "Ok, so that's three-fourths of a pound of [hamburger]?"
"No, three quarters of a pound."
Right up there with one I've heard all to often: "Change for a dollar...no sir/maam, there 4 quarters in a dollar, not <insert number>"
Anyone had this one: "I'm sorry, but we can't sell (insert product) by the cup/tablespoon....I know that the recipe cards says 1 (insert measure) but we can't open a bag/box just to give you 1 (measure) of (product)"
Or have someone ask for the kind of beef vegetarians eat? (should note that the latter one was asked by a very sweet old lady whose husband had just been put on a strict diet that didn't know what the word "vegetarian" meant)
Last edited:
Re: Your "I Won't Say Anything, but this Customer Needs a Brain" Momen
^ Must be that "New Math."
Oh! I just remembered a *great* one I had just today!
"What can I get for you today ma'am?"
"Yes I want three quarters of a pound of [hamburger]."
(confirmation repeat) "Ok, so that's three-fourths of a pound of [hamburger]?"
"No, three quarters of a pound."
^ Must be that "New Math."
- Status
