Woman in NYC cat call video is suing..
- Thread starter Gingerbread Demon
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I think they view it as sport. There's the territory deal, dogs pissing on everything to claim it and then sniffing each other's piss. That's what the catcalls amount to.
I don't believe they actually expect to pick up women this way.
I was out with a female co-worker one time and I ran into some male acquaintances and they were circling her like vultures. Later she said they gave her the creeps. They also acted like I wasn't there. Same when I was having lunch with a lady friend and guys were coming up to our table and trying to talk to her and acting like I wasn't there and she later said they were being really rude.
Well in Brazil, Dear Wife was cat-called all the time (this was long before she met me)..if the person doing the calling was alone, she'd smack them up-side the head.. She told me that she NEVER got that here in the S.F. Bay Area.. Is cat-calling a North East USA thing? have other women on the board here been victims anywhere else in the USA?
I'm simply curious, after all if I see a striking young lady on the street, I don't make it a point to harass her in any way...one quick appreciative glance is what I was taught..and Mom did try to raise a gentleman..
I'm simply curious, after all if I see a striking young lady on the street, I don't make it a point to harass her in any way...one quick appreciative glance is what I was taught..and Mom did try to raise a gentleman..
I've wondered the same thing. I've lived a number of places, but never anywhere in the eastern US. In my 40+ years, I've never witnessed an episode of catcalling, nor have I ever met anyone who has experienced it, or at least anyone who has said anything about it. It just doesn't happen anywhere I've lived.
I was in Washington Heights last weekend taking photos and I ended up walking down a couple of blocks in the same direction as an attractive woman. The number of catcalls and solicitations she received in just those two, maybe three blocks was just stunning. And it wasn't just the "Hey, baby you look fine" nature (which I imagine is bad enough), it was followed by the whole, "Hey, you too good to talk to me, you f*****, c***?"
Stopping and staring at the guys on their stoop making the comments had no effect - they thoroughly ignored me in favor of their fixation on (and indignation of being ignored by) the woman.
I once saw a bit of graffiti art that said, "Women do not owe you their time or conversation." If only this sentiment was more widely accepted.
ETA: This isn't exclusive to Washington Heights - it just happened to be the last place I visited where I've witnessed it.
Is there something in the water up there?
If I had to guess, it has something to do with the density of people and the relative anonymity that density provides. Not unlike how the anonymity of the internet allows for more instances of trollish behavior than in real life. If the guys involved had known this woman as a more than just an object of desire walking past their stoop (sister, cousin, niece, etc.) I doubt they'd have behaved the same way. In fact, I've seen guys, who have made those kinds of comments, get personally offended when such comments get cast toward women they know. I don't think there's a truly rational explanation for the behavior. But that's the best I can come up with.
It is very much not limited to the north east. It happens pretty much everywhere.
Not in my city. It would be an aberration here.
True. And I'm fine, thanks. My story was very old. Old like from your childhood, assuming that's your birth year in your username.
Speaking of which, feel free to call me Ziyal. In the Bajoran naming tradition, the family name is first and the given name second.
OK cool thanks Ziyal.... Yes the number in my name is my birth year. Though most people think I'm still 35
That's just taking things to the completely opposite extreme, though. It's not treating them like human beings again, but like priceless art exhibits that can't even be approached.
Read the room. Is it a (relatively) safe environment with lots of people around? Is she with friends to give her some extra security? Is it the kind of place where one would expect to go to meet other people, like a dance club or bar? I she happy and looking around and making eye contact with lots of people, or is she looking down at her drink and not interested in the other patrons of the bar?
Then, don't be a jackass about it. Don't do stupid pickup lines or negging or trying to stand over them and intimidate/separate them from their friends. Treat them like a human being with respect and dignity as you would like to be treated yourself. I don't know where you got the idea that all interaction has to be sexual innuendo or macho come ons. Just introduce yourself and ask if they'd like to dance or if you can buy them a drink. And if they say no, don't take it personally or act like they owe you something, just walk away.
Women don't want to be treated like aliens any more than they want to be harassed. They want to be treated like human beings with kindness, decency, and respect. There's a time and place to appropriately introduce yourself and ask someone if they'd be interested in sharing a drink, or dancing, or going on a date, etc. As they're on the way to work or school and you're shouting from your car is not it.
That is a very interesting point of view. It begs comment on the growing discontent of men that woman are so protected that men lose all presumption of innocence - their right to due process - which, by the way, puts women on an even higher pedestal and causes men to avoid them for fear of recrimination and accusation. It basically means the bad guys will keep at it while the good guys are losing the will to try any more. The risk is too high.
I just think people need to work on their ability to read social situations and body language cues better. If a women has her head down, or is focused on forward motion and is engaged in doing her own thing (listening to music, talking on her phone, talking to a friend, pumping gas, etc.) she's obviously not interested in having some stranger come up and talk to her. Especially not in a less controllable environment like a street.
They also need to learn to choose venues where people expect to make contact with others and where there is a degree of safety in numbers.
It's not a hard and fast rule by any means and every person is different, but I think some people get so hung up on the potential aftermath of introducing themselves that they give themselves extreme anxiety in the process.
I don't know. I'm no expert, so take it with a grain of salt. And it's usually not a good sign when the women in the thread start dropping out of the conversation. Is what I'm saying making any sense?
They also need to learn to choose venues where people expect to make contact with others and where there is a degree of safety in numbers.
It's not a hard and fast rule by any means and every person is different, but I think some people get so hung up on the potential aftermath of introducing themselves that they give themselves extreme anxiety in the process.
I don't know. I'm no expert, so take it with a grain of salt. And it's usually not a good sign when the women in the thread start dropping out of the conversation. Is what I'm saying making any sense?
I can't believe I'm the one saying this, but...you may want to lighten up a tad.
srsly though, this isn't a court of law. No need to talk about "due process" or anything like that. Just basic respect and dignity that everyone should give everyone else.
I can't believe I'm the one saying this, but...you may want to lighten up a tad.
srsly though, this isn't a court of law. No need to talk about "due process" or anything like that. Just basic respect and dignity that everyone should give everyone else.
Yep.
True. And I'm fine, thanks. My story was very old. Old like from your childhood, assuming that's your birth year in your username.
Speaking of which, feel free to call me Ziyal. In the Bajoran naming tradition, the family name is first and the given name second.
OK cool thanks Ziyal.... Yes the number in my name is my birth year. Though most people think I'm still 35
You're just a mere child to me.
^ I heard that in Kai Winn's voice. 
Yep. It happens to me daily and I live in the backwoods of the South.
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