Wil Wheaton Review of "Datalore"

[Salinga]

After some months finally Wheaton released a new review of a TNG episode from season one, "Datalore":

Also, Tasha's security console was designed by Dick Cheney and can track the movements of every single being on the Enterprise, including Lore. Data leaves the bridge to go see exactly what he's up to, and Tasha, speaking strictly as chief of security, wonders how much Picard can trust Data, now that he has an identical twin running around. Everyone on the bridge looks at her like she farted, and Picard tells her that he trusts Data implicitly. (Jesus Christ. The crew gets bent out of shape when she does her job, but doesn't care that the Enterprise has a surveillance system that makes 1984 look like Freenet?)

http://www.tvsquad.com/2007/12/03/star-trek-the-next-generation-datalore/

 

[Natural]

Thanks for the heads-up. I didn't know about his reviews. It's nice to get some behind the scenes insight, and it's cool he has a sense of humour about it all.

 

[ALF]

So Tasha Yar farted.

 

[cardinal biggles]

"Data" leaves to bridge -- after making it clear that he doesn't know what "make it so" means and arousing absolutely no suspicions from Picard -- and Wesley decides he's had enough of this bullshit.
.
"Sir," he says, "I know this may finish me, but --"
.
And Picard, the captain who recognized Wesley's intellect and promoted him to acting ensign, responds with three words that follow me to this day: "Shut up, Wesley!"
.
Trekkies around the country gasp in delight as an episode that was veering into 'The Last Outpost' territory suddenly has redeeming value. Basement printing presses, silk screens, and button-makers go into over drive as entrepreneurial fans do what they do best. The convention market is flooded with the resulting merchandise, and children are still attending college today from the sales.

It's stuff like this that makes Wil's episode reviews so much fun to read. Not just the snark (which anyone could do), but the personal perspective on it, brought about by playing one of the most hated characters in all of Star Trek.

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

WESLEY: "Hey, can you kiss my ass, Captain? How does that work for you? I was right about everything, bitch!"

That would have redeemed the episode.

 

[MeanJoePhaser]

Riker, Geordi, and Tasha all join forces to be sort of an Exposition Voltron

Riker: "...and I'll form the head!"

Data asks her if she would want people to know about her off switch, if she had one. She laughs, and nervously glances at a bottle of Jaegermeister in her office.

 

[2of1million]

When Data comments on Lore's obsequiousness, Lore says, "Because I was designed to be so human, my brother, I enjoy pleasing humans." Data fails to point out that this is something they have in common, while Tasha studiously avoids making eye contact.

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

I'm glad I'm not reading this in the office with comments like the two quoted above.

And thanks Salinga for the link, I didn't think Wheaton would add any more and I'd sort of forgotten about his reviews.

 

[Sakrysta]

Wesley jumps up from his console and shouts, "Wheee! I'm in Starfleet!" as he skips to the turbolift.

Worf growls, but inside he's secretly grateful that he's staying safely on the bridge.

Lore, disguised as Data, is contacting the crystalline entity when Wesley shows up, and discreetly checks up on him thusly:

Wesley: Hi Data! Look at how totally in Starfleet I am!
Lore: Hello, Wesley! I am not Lore, I am Data! Look at Lore who is on the floor while I, Data, am standing here doing nothing suspicious!
Wesley: Wow, that sure does look like Lore! Neat! I'd better not call security or anything since nothing suspicious is going on here. Oh, before I leave, here are all the reasons I, and everyone else on the ship would suspect that you were actually Lore, disguised as Data, contacting the crystalline entity so it could come and eat our brains.
Lore: Hey, it is not unreasonable, I mean, it is not going to eat your eyes.
Wesley: Hey, did you know that in Starfleet? I talk to the captain! I think I'll go talk to him now! Wheeee!
Lore: Thanks for dropping in and observing that there's nothing suspicious going on here. Run along now, you little scamp!
Wesley: Wheeee!

If you are unfamiliar with the brain-eating reference, Wil just even MORE firmly solidified his geek credibilitiy (if that's possible) - Re: Your Brains

 

[LancasterTrek]

North Pole-aris said:
WESLEY: "Hey, can you kiss my ass, Captain? How does that work for you? I was right about everything, bitch!"

That would have redeemed the episode.

 

[CaptainStoner]

I love these reviews. At first, I thought, maybe he was going to far. Some of the reviews are a little more perverse than others. But its all in good fun. And who better to be writing them?
I wish he'd do them a higher pace of course, but he dissects every scene. And, he has, you know, a life. I guess.
I also notice that he's been responding to the comments on that site where the reviews are, so there's your chance to get in one last die wesley crusher die die die or whatever.

 

[Salinga]

I think the TNG fan community should be very happy to have a guy like Wheaton, who is part of the fans but also a part of the TNG show itself. So he can reflect both sides of it. The other shows don't have such a person or do they?

 

[CaptainStoner]

No, Wil Wheaton is unique in his position. Other cast members may be Trekkies, or geeks, but as far as I know Wil is the only one who also has a highly talented writer's voice.
I can really picture Spiner, Frakes, probably all of them, nearly pissing themselves reading those reviews.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

CaptainStoner said:
No, Wil Wheaton is unique in his position. Other cast members may be Trekkies, or geeks, but as far as I know Wil is the only one who also has a highly talented writer's voice.

If novels and episodes count, most Trek series have them. Bob Picardo wrote for Voyager, JG Hertzler wrote *excellent* Klingon novels for DS9, etc.