Why can't people just organize things? And let me know

[Ethros]

First off I just wanna this isn't something major, but I just wanna have a semi rant about what's happened and if you're bored enough to read it see how you'd feel


So a few workmates and I had been wanting to go see the new X-Men movie, but it can be hard us all finding the same time. Anyway Workmate A texted me this afternoon basically saying "Me and Workmate B are going to see X-Men at 6:30 tonight, come if you can"
This was at 4:30 and I was out shopping/browsing. I really wanted to go so replied "ok, what time do you wanna meet", asking who else was going, etc. They replied they weren't sure yet but would let me know. Due to the time factor I went straight home as I would have just enough time to get home, try and look moderately respectable, and get to the cinema by 6:30.

It's a little drive to the cinema, and by 6 I'd heard nothing, so I texted asking what the latest was; replied with "I'm at home having tea, then I'm meeting Workmate B later. I'll let you know what we're doing."


Well... it's now 8:45. So I think we've missed the 6:30 showing. There was another at 8:30, also missed. There's another at 9:30 but I doubt we'll go to that.


I mean, is this just me or what? If it was just a "hey maybe we could go see a movie tonight, what do you think?" and it just didn't plan out then that's fair enough. But to specifically say "We're going tonight, do you want to come?" and then just nothing is something I would never do to a friend.
I would at least text and say "Hey sorry, looks like we're gonna have to give it a miss tonight, another time perhaps" kinda thing.


As I said, I now rushed home for no reason. I was also texted by another friend about 5:00 to go out for drinks, but I said I couldn't make it as I (then) had other plans. So their laziness and rudeness has basically spoiled my night.


(That's the basics of it, I think I've written enough )

So again, this isn't the end of the world! But it just irked me a little. I'll just throw it out there. Are people just rude, or am I just an old stick in the mud?

 

[Kestra]

People are rude. You also need to learn which of your friends are more considerate than others, and prioritize accordingly.

 

[Ethros]

Yeah. I mean their could be a good excuse as to why I've heard nothing. They've been in a car crash, their dad's had a heart attack, their dog was run over, etc

It could happen. Just to be honest I seriously doubt anything like that has.

 

[auntiehill]

Wow. A TRIPLE post.

 

[Mr Silver]

I think we all can sympathise with you Ethros. This often happens and i'm sure we're all individually guilty of standing people up for whatever reason.

Its particulary annoying when its a recurring thing with one or two friends in particular

 

[DarthTom]

People are rude. You also need to learn which of your friends are more considerate than others, and prioritize accordingly.

Agreed. I've also found that some people think out loud, make plans thinking out loud and never intended for those plans to be concrete even though they sound that way.

Sometimes they're rude people as you suggest but also some people just make a bunch of plans and not intending to be rude just back out because something else comes up.

With certain people in my life I've learned that when they are saying "yes," or asking me to do something it really is a 50/50 probability at best that the event is going to happen.

 

[Ethros]

Wow. A TRIPLE post.

eep! It kept timing out every time I tried to post it, and wasn't showing up after. As you can see I had to rewrite it
Mods feel free to remove two of them



Well its 10:00 and I've still had nothing. I'm not gonna text them tonight as I don't wanna come across as desperate. I'll see what happens later.
Just thinking out loud; I don't wanna act like I'm really pissed off, yet I also don't want to make out it was nothing and they didn't fuck up my evening plans.

 

[auntiehill]

^You can remove them yourself, via the edit button/delete post.


I've had similar experiences. I just assume that if someone really wants to spend time with me, they will. Don't make last minute plans via text; call and actually SPEAK to said person and get concrete answers to the WHERE & WHEN of it all. Yes, inviting someone and then ignoring them at the last minute is HORRIBLY rude and you should be pissed off, but the best way to express your displeasure is to simply not jump at every text this person sends you, since they've proven themselves unreliable.

Basically, some people are just flakes. SPEAK to people one on one, or you'll never get the details of what's really going on. It's a bit harder for someone to ditch you when they've spoken to you, rather than just sent a text.

 

[tomalak301]

I remember when this happened in college pretty much all the time. It's like people have no care in the world and it does suck if you're trying to make plans and depend on other people. I agree about prioritizing who your friends are. I really only have one friend who I can hang out with, but would love to get more eventually.

 

[Ethros]

^You can remove them yourself, via the edit button/delete post.

Ah, thanks. Done. Nearly 10 years on the Trek BBS, I should probably know that



Yeah thanks, I appreciate that. Maybe it's because they're younger than me. It's a mix of ages at my work, they're 19 and 20, and I'm 25. I know that's not huge, but "the kids today" do seem obsessed with communicating via Facebook or texting etc, rather than actually speaking to some.

The "Workmate A & B" (said 19 & 20 yr olds) are also girls, and I've always grown up being a gentleman, so I don't really want to bitch to them about what they were playing at if it does end up turning out that they "just couldn't be bothered letting me know"






Just on a tangent here as well, its reasons like this too that I often go to the cinema on my own. Some people can be so hard organizing things with. "oh well I can do that day but not this day. I can be there at this time but have to be home by this time. Oh is Person X going as I'll only go if they do. Is Person Y going because I don't wanna speak to them" bla bla bla
Ha, it just gets annoying. I usually go to the movies quite a bit, and so "only going with friends" would be a nightmare for me.
I often have days off mid-week, so will just go on an afternoon when its dead anyway

 

[tomalak301]

Yeah thanks, I appreciate that. Maybe it's because they're younger than me. It's a mix of ages at my work, they're 19 and 20, and I'm 25. I know that's not huge, but "the kids today" do seem obsessed with communicating via Facebook or texting etc, rather than actually speaking to some.

I know exactly what you mean. It seems like my friend wants to chat via facebook and barely picks up his phone. Since I don't text (Don't want to pay the rates and I have no need), I like having that verbal communication and it is all about facebook and twitter and texts in this generation. It's actually kind of annoying sometimes.

 

[auntiehill]

^It's very annoying, sometimes. The younger generation is so self-involved that the act of communicating (via twitter, text, etc) seems more important to them than the actual person they are supposed to be communicating WITH.

Yes, if I waited to go to movies with friends, I'd never see anything. Hubby and I see lots of movies, but only occasionally do we go with a group; that's just too many schedules to coordinate. And sometimes, hubby or I even see movie on our own, as he will horror or monster films with his pals, and I think those are just too stupid to bear sometimes. Other times, I want to see something (like Limitless) which hubby won't, so I'll catch it on one of my days off.

 

[FPAlpha]

With this small stuff it's easy.. just order/reserve the tickets and who shows up at the agreed time sees the movie and the others don't. If they decide to bitch about it you can shut them up because you agreed to a time.

However if i organize something important like a holiday where real money has to be paid in advance i tend to set a hard deadline and make it absolutely clear that by that time everyone has to be ready or they won't be considered. I don't like nasty surprises with this kind of thing.. having to fly somewhere and then realize the hotel is booked out and we have to improvise to find somewhere to sleep.

I've had negative experiences with sort of thing so i'm not taking any chances and it has worked out well so far.

 

[Holdfast]

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[Ethros]

Isn't the phrase "cut them out of your life"?

That pictures looks more like "cut your life out of them"


Ha, is that (the first one) your advice anyway?

 

[Mr Silver]

That pictures looks more like "cut your life out of them"

But if you are cutting around the star (your life) then you are indeed cutting them out of your life. Who says that what you are cutting out has to be the star?

 

[Holdfast]

Good lord people, have you never cut shapes out before?! You keep the pretty shape, and throw away the excess!

If you can't figure that out, I'm not surprised you're having other problems in life.

 

[RJDiogenes]

^^ Aw, cut it out.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

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That pictures looks more like "cut your life out of them"

But if you are cutting around the star (your life) then you are indeed cutting them out of your life. Who says that what you are cutting out has to be the star?

Good lord people, have you never cut shapes out before?! You keep the pretty shape, and throw away the excess!

If you can't figure that out, I'm not surprised you're having other problems in life.

I'm more disturbed by the fact that once again the dilemma of problematic friends is being solved with the use of sharp weapons. (Yes, I know they look like safety scissors, but...)

But anyway, yeah, metaphors...

Thinking about it further, the concept of "them" is already away from "your life" as indicated by the star-shaped partition separating the two concepts. It might make more sense if "your life" was represented by the whole sheet itself, while the star shape on the sheet represents "you" so that when you cut "them" out of "your life," it leaves "you" behind in the shape of a pretty star...

 

[RJDiogenes]

My life is one origami after another.