This is my first posted story, a Troi-centric TNG one-shot. Getting it into
the proper format is taking a little longer than I thought, so I'm going to
break it into small pieces and post it over a day or so. (Feel free to
comment on the pieces, though!)
SUMMARY: A holodeck celebration in honor of Troi's promotion
becomes a battle of wits between her and Riker (and a fitting
coda to the Bridge Officer's Test subplot from "Thine Own Self").
AUTHOR'S NOTE: While browsing a TNG scripts archive one day, I came
across these two lines in the shooting script of Generations —
specifically, the part of the "high seas" scene where Worf is being
made to walk the plank — that didn't make it into the movie:
PICARD
Don't you think you're taking this a little too far, Number One?
RIKER
When we went to ancient Rome for Deanna's promotion, we threw
her to the lions, remember?
Once I'd finished laughing, this fic pretty much wrote itself. (What
would Deanna really do if confronted with holographic lions? Play
along and/or flounder for the amusement of the crew, probably, just
as Worf does in Generations. What, as a Troi fan, would I want
her to do? Well... this.)
I'd appreciate some feedback on the big stuff — story and
characterization. (After polishing something like this for a few
months, it gets hard to tell the difference between "really cool"
and "just too silly for words"...)
DISCLAIMER: Lest there should be any confusion (huge eye roll
here), the Enterprise and its denizens are not mine; I'm merely
borrowing them for fun, with no intention of making a profit.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------------
"The truth is, I don't spend nearly enough time on the holodeck..."
- Troi, "All Good Things"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
The Enterprise's Chief Engineer Geordi La Forge looked up from
the data padd in his hands and frowned slightly as he noticed the
rather unusual presence in his domain of ship's counselor Deanna
Troi.
Troi, meanwhile, was snapping out of a somber reverie and
discovering, to her own surprise, that her subconsciously directed
footsteps had taken her down to Main Engineering. Feeling a bit
embarrassed as she tried in vain to remember the voice command she
had given the turbolift, she looked uncomfortably at La Forge from
across the control bank the engineers referred to as the pool table.
If he knew how many times I've blown up the ship with these controls
over the past few days, she thought wryly, he'd be chasing me out of
here with a stick. And heaven forbid he should find out what I had
to do to save the ship...
"Is there something I can do for you, Counselor?" asked La Forge.
Troi shook her head slightly, still trying to recall her mind from
the eerily similar holodeck scenario she'd just left.
The Engineering Qualification Section of the Bridge Officer's Test
consisted of a single trick question, requiring a completely
non-technical solution to what had initially seemed an insoluble
technical problem. As it turned out, that solution was to order
La Forge to his death to save the Enterprise.
Even in holodeck simulation, the eventuality had left Troi badly
shaken.
"No, thank you. I... just dropped by to say hello." But something
in her manner — some inadvertently telegraphed discomfort at the
very sight of him, perhaps — apparently told a different story,
for La Forge's puzzlement began to spike into alarm as he
continued to stare at her.
Deciding to try a different tack, Troi crossed over to him and
placed a friendly hand on his arm, looking him in the eye.
"Geordi, I just want you to know how much everyone on this ship
appreciates all the work you do — that you're a good friend and
an extremely valued member of the crew, and we couldn’t run the
Enterprise without you."
And, she added to herself, that I would never, ever send you
off to die a horrible death in some radiation-flooded crawlway,
even if I do completely outrank you now.
"Uh, thanks," said La Forge, more puzzled than ever.
Troi patted his arm. "You're welcome."
And, still resisting an absurd desire to apologize for something
that, after all, had never actually happened, Deanna Troi beat a
hasty retreat back to the upper decks.
Shrugging, Geordi went back to work.
*****
Deanna was in Ten Forward later that night, attempting to drown
the lingering stress of the Engineering Qualification in a hot
fudge sundae, when she heard the rumor about Will Riker's plans
for her upcoming promotion party.
He had first proposed such a celebration on their way out of
the holodeck after she'd finally passed the Bridge Officer's
Test, and Troi had responded with pleased surprise.
"You're going to the trouble of designing an entire holodeck
program just to celebrate my promotion to commander? Will, how
sweet of you."
Riker had looked thoughtfully at the ceiling and stroked his
beard with an oddly self-satisfied smile. "In fact, I already
have an idea about what the setting could be. Keep an eye out
for the announcement. I'll make it something special. For now"
— this with a gently mocking smile — "congratulations on passing
the Bridge Officer's Test in only four tries."
And then, after bending down to give her a sweetly impulsive
kiss on the cheek, he had turned and headed off down the corridor,
adding over his shoulder, "I'll be in touch about your party soon.
Trust me, it'll be a celebration you'll never forget."
Now — halfway through her dessert — a conversation from the table
behind her caught Deanna's attention.
"...saw Riker's announcement on my screen just an hour ago," a
crewman was saying with evident amusement. "He's organizing a
promotion party on the holodeck Friday night."
The other crewman snickered. "So who's the unfortunate victim this
time, I wonder?"
Victim? thought Deanna, swallowing the wrong way and nearly choking.
Not wishing to eavesdrop on a private conversation, she nevertheless
suddenly found herself unable to tune it out.
"Hey, remember what they did to poor La Forge when they promoted
him to lieutenant commander?"
Deanna didn’t; she had been visiting her mother on Betazed at the
time, and somehow — although she clearly remembered, on her return,
congratulating Geordi on his step up through the ranks — no one had
ever gone into detail about the celebration she had missed.
"Aztec human sacrifice ceremony, wasn't it? Ripping the still-beating
hearts out of people's chests, and all that?"
Human sacrifice? thought Deanna.
"Yep, the whole shebang. And I heard once that Riker did a very nice
American Civil War execution scenario for Palmer's promotion to
lieutenant back on the Hood."
Execution? thought Deanna.
A snort. "Well, if that's the reward for getting promoted, forgive
me for preferring to spend my career as a noncom."
"I dunno, I like to see an XO with a sense of humor."
"A sadistic one, that is!"
And the two shared a hearty laugh.
Having heard more than enough to kill what was left of her appetite,
Deanna abruptly stood up and headed back to her quarters, leaving the
half-eaten sundae behind on the table.
*****
As soon as she walked through her door, it was obvious that Will Riker
had gotten there first.
On the table in the middle of the room was a parchment scroll of the
ancient Terran variety, rolled around a pair of wooden sticks with
knobs at either end. Warily, she unrolled it and read the fancy
gold-colored script.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Divine Imperator Jean-Luc Picard and Centurion William T. Riker
Cordially invite you to a celebration at the Ancient Roman Colusseum
In honor of your Promotion to the Rank of Commander
Friday evening at 1800 hours
Holodeck Two
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Troi eyed the parchment suspiciously. The invitation seemed innocent
enough, but on further examination — especially with the overheard
conversation fresh in her mind — it managed to reveal frustratingly
little about what Will actually had planned. And, despite the captain's
name at the top of the announcement, she had no doubt that Will Riker
would be the driving force behind whatever would happen Friday night
on Holodeck Two.
You're getting paranoid, she chided herself. Don’t jump to conclusions.
Stop and think this through logically.
Slowly she put down the scroll, took a deep breath, and settled herself
on the sofa, closing her eyes for a little directed meditation.
So, she thought, what do I know for certain?
First, that Will is planning me a party — and that the captain will
undoubtedly leave the arrangement of the details up to him...
Second, that these celebrations in honor of promotions apparently have
a reputation among the crew for being unduly harsh on the person for
whom they are ostensibly given...
Third, that Will has decided to set this party in the ancient Roman
Empire, a period of Earth's history noted for high civilization mixed
with episodes of unhealthy hedonism and a certain passion for blood
sports...
And — she couldn't help but admit it, at least to herself — fourth,
that Will does, in fact, have a bit of a sadistic streak, at least
when it comes to practical jokes and other forms of humor.
So the essential question is this: Is Will likely to seize this
opportunity to exercise his slightly sadistic sense of humor on me —
his imzadi — of all people?
The answer to this question came to Deanna's mind with disconcerting
rapidity, coupled with a recent memory of Riker's voice: "Trust me,
it'll be a celebration you'll never forget."
Her eyes snapped open.
Ohhhh, no...
Despite being a man of undeniably high moral character, Will Riker
could, under certain circumstances, be capable of some very
nasty trickery. And if Geordi had been given a sort of figurative
gauntlet to run, Troi would probably be trapped into something
even worse — not in spite of her closeness to Riker, but because
of it.
Thoroughly agitated now, she leapt up from the couch and began
pacing in rapid circles around the room, hands clasped behind her.
And by the time she had completed a few circuits of her quarters,
Deanna had reached the conclusion that she had better find time,
before Friday night, for two important things:
(1) A private talk with Captain Picard, and
(2) Target practice. Lots and lots of target practice.
*****
To be continued...
the proper format is taking a little longer than I thought, so I'm going to
break it into small pieces and post it over a day or so. (Feel free to
comment on the pieces, though!)
SUMMARY: A holodeck celebration in honor of Troi's promotion
becomes a battle of wits between her and Riker (and a fitting
coda to the Bridge Officer's Test subplot from "Thine Own Self").
AUTHOR'S NOTE: While browsing a TNG scripts archive one day, I came
across these two lines in the shooting script of Generations —
specifically, the part of the "high seas" scene where Worf is being
made to walk the plank — that didn't make it into the movie:
PICARD
Don't you think you're taking this a little too far, Number One?
RIKER
When we went to ancient Rome for Deanna's promotion, we threw
her to the lions, remember?
Once I'd finished laughing, this fic pretty much wrote itself. (What
would Deanna really do if confronted with holographic lions? Play
along and/or flounder for the amusement of the crew, probably, just
as Worf does in Generations. What, as a Troi fan, would I want
her to do? Well... this.)
I'd appreciate some feedback on the big stuff — story and
characterization. (After polishing something like this for a few
months, it gets hard to tell the difference between "really cool"
and "just too silly for words"...)
DISCLAIMER: Lest there should be any confusion (huge eye roll
here), the Enterprise and its denizens are not mine; I'm merely
borrowing them for fun, with no intention of making a profit.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------------
"The truth is, I don't spend nearly enough time on the holodeck..."
- Troi, "All Good Things"
-------------------------------------------------------------------
The Enterprise's Chief Engineer Geordi La Forge looked up from
the data padd in his hands and frowned slightly as he noticed the
rather unusual presence in his domain of ship's counselor Deanna
Troi.
Troi, meanwhile, was snapping out of a somber reverie and
discovering, to her own surprise, that her subconsciously directed
footsteps had taken her down to Main Engineering. Feeling a bit
embarrassed as she tried in vain to remember the voice command she
had given the turbolift, she looked uncomfortably at La Forge from
across the control bank the engineers referred to as the pool table.
If he knew how many times I've blown up the ship with these controls
over the past few days, she thought wryly, he'd be chasing me out of
here with a stick. And heaven forbid he should find out what I had
to do to save the ship...
"Is there something I can do for you, Counselor?" asked La Forge.
Troi shook her head slightly, still trying to recall her mind from
the eerily similar holodeck scenario she'd just left.
The Engineering Qualification Section of the Bridge Officer's Test
consisted of a single trick question, requiring a completely
non-technical solution to what had initially seemed an insoluble
technical problem. As it turned out, that solution was to order
La Forge to his death to save the Enterprise.
Even in holodeck simulation, the eventuality had left Troi badly
shaken.
"No, thank you. I... just dropped by to say hello." But something
in her manner — some inadvertently telegraphed discomfort at the
very sight of him, perhaps — apparently told a different story,
for La Forge's puzzlement began to spike into alarm as he
continued to stare at her.
Deciding to try a different tack, Troi crossed over to him and
placed a friendly hand on his arm, looking him in the eye.
"Geordi, I just want you to know how much everyone on this ship
appreciates all the work you do — that you're a good friend and
an extremely valued member of the crew, and we couldn’t run the
Enterprise without you."
And, she added to herself, that I would never, ever send you
off to die a horrible death in some radiation-flooded crawlway,
even if I do completely outrank you now.
"Uh, thanks," said La Forge, more puzzled than ever.
Troi patted his arm. "You're welcome."
And, still resisting an absurd desire to apologize for something
that, after all, had never actually happened, Deanna Troi beat a
hasty retreat back to the upper decks.
Shrugging, Geordi went back to work.
*****
Deanna was in Ten Forward later that night, attempting to drown
the lingering stress of the Engineering Qualification in a hot
fudge sundae, when she heard the rumor about Will Riker's plans
for her upcoming promotion party.
He had first proposed such a celebration on their way out of
the holodeck after she'd finally passed the Bridge Officer's
Test, and Troi had responded with pleased surprise.
"You're going to the trouble of designing an entire holodeck
program just to celebrate my promotion to commander? Will, how
sweet of you."
Riker had looked thoughtfully at the ceiling and stroked his
beard with an oddly self-satisfied smile. "In fact, I already
have an idea about what the setting could be. Keep an eye out
for the announcement. I'll make it something special. For now"
— this with a gently mocking smile — "congratulations on passing
the Bridge Officer's Test in only four tries."
And then, after bending down to give her a sweetly impulsive
kiss on the cheek, he had turned and headed off down the corridor,
adding over his shoulder, "I'll be in touch about your party soon.
Trust me, it'll be a celebration you'll never forget."
Now — halfway through her dessert — a conversation from the table
behind her caught Deanna's attention.
"...saw Riker's announcement on my screen just an hour ago," a
crewman was saying with evident amusement. "He's organizing a
promotion party on the holodeck Friday night."
The other crewman snickered. "So who's the unfortunate victim this
time, I wonder?"
Victim? thought Deanna, swallowing the wrong way and nearly choking.
Not wishing to eavesdrop on a private conversation, she nevertheless
suddenly found herself unable to tune it out.
"Hey, remember what they did to poor La Forge when they promoted
him to lieutenant commander?"
Deanna didn’t; she had been visiting her mother on Betazed at the
time, and somehow — although she clearly remembered, on her return,
congratulating Geordi on his step up through the ranks — no one had
ever gone into detail about the celebration she had missed.
"Aztec human sacrifice ceremony, wasn't it? Ripping the still-beating
hearts out of people's chests, and all that?"
Human sacrifice? thought Deanna.
"Yep, the whole shebang. And I heard once that Riker did a very nice
American Civil War execution scenario for Palmer's promotion to
lieutenant back on the Hood."
Execution? thought Deanna.
A snort. "Well, if that's the reward for getting promoted, forgive
me for preferring to spend my career as a noncom."
"I dunno, I like to see an XO with a sense of humor."
"A sadistic one, that is!"
And the two shared a hearty laugh.
Having heard more than enough to kill what was left of her appetite,
Deanna abruptly stood up and headed back to her quarters, leaving the
half-eaten sundae behind on the table.
*****
As soon as she walked through her door, it was obvious that Will Riker
had gotten there first.
On the table in the middle of the room was a parchment scroll of the
ancient Terran variety, rolled around a pair of wooden sticks with
knobs at either end. Warily, she unrolled it and read the fancy
gold-colored script.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Divine Imperator Jean-Luc Picard and Centurion William T. Riker
Cordially invite you to a celebration at the Ancient Roman Colusseum
In honor of your Promotion to the Rank of Commander
Friday evening at 1800 hours
Holodeck Two
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Troi eyed the parchment suspiciously. The invitation seemed innocent
enough, but on further examination — especially with the overheard
conversation fresh in her mind — it managed to reveal frustratingly
little about what Will actually had planned. And, despite the captain's
name at the top of the announcement, she had no doubt that Will Riker
would be the driving force behind whatever would happen Friday night
on Holodeck Two.
You're getting paranoid, she chided herself. Don’t jump to conclusions.
Stop and think this through logically.
Slowly she put down the scroll, took a deep breath, and settled herself
on the sofa, closing her eyes for a little directed meditation.
So, she thought, what do I know for certain?
First, that Will is planning me a party — and that the captain will
undoubtedly leave the arrangement of the details up to him...
Second, that these celebrations in honor of promotions apparently have
a reputation among the crew for being unduly harsh on the person for
whom they are ostensibly given...
Third, that Will has decided to set this party in the ancient Roman
Empire, a period of Earth's history noted for high civilization mixed
with episodes of unhealthy hedonism and a certain passion for blood
sports...
And — she couldn't help but admit it, at least to herself — fourth,
that Will does, in fact, have a bit of a sadistic streak, at least
when it comes to practical jokes and other forms of humor.
So the essential question is this: Is Will likely to seize this
opportunity to exercise his slightly sadistic sense of humor on me —
his imzadi — of all people?
The answer to this question came to Deanna's mind with disconcerting
rapidity, coupled with a recent memory of Riker's voice: "Trust me,
it'll be a celebration you'll never forget."
Her eyes snapped open.
Ohhhh, no...
Despite being a man of undeniably high moral character, Will Riker
could, under certain circumstances, be capable of some very
nasty trickery. And if Geordi had been given a sort of figurative
gauntlet to run, Troi would probably be trapped into something
even worse — not in spite of her closeness to Riker, but because
of it.
Thoroughly agitated now, she leapt up from the couch and began
pacing in rapid circles around the room, hands clasped behind her.
And by the time she had completed a few circuits of her quarters,
Deanna had reached the conclusion that she had better find time,
before Friday night, for two important things:
(1) A private talk with Captain Picard, and
(2) Target practice. Lots and lots of target practice.
*****
To be continued...