I am curious, why are you considering going back on medication if nothing worked in the past? Are you considering medication for just your bipolar disorder or for social anxiety as well.
I am hoping that they have made some advances in the past couple of years in medication but if not, I maybe looking at targeting specific areas of my issues to see if I can't create some sort of...balance.
I would think if you're considering it there must have been some positive benefits however small. I too have had limited success with meds, but the SSRI's I take do one thing well and that is keep me from snapping and going berserk with rage. Have you tried Neurontin for bi-polar? I took it for something else and found it very mild.
One of the benefits of me taking medication is so people leave me alone. A lot of people think I need to go back on medication but -- they've never seen me on medication before. I have taken pretty much everything they can think of.
I have had very long term problems with Social Anxiety as well. One thing is that you may actually be under estimating how much therapy does. For years I was bothered by the idea that I "wasn't doing therapy right". I'd go there I'd listen, I'd talk, I'd cry, but it really didn't seem to sink in. I thought I left each session going back out into the world as exactly the same person and never really applying. I was surprised when my girlfriend told me she thought being in therapy was the only thing that really helped me and that she saw the difference as the years went by. The most important thing is to get a therapist who is a good fit with you. I always felt more comfortable opening up to women so I always had a female therapist.
Personally, by now, the damage to my mental state is pretty much permanent that I can no longer trust a single person ever again (well, there might be one or two). It's getting to the point lately I can't even trust my family and it's degrading slowly. I would classify it as paranoia, personally, but others might not. It gets to the point where I can't trust my therapists or any of my doctors. *shrugs*
If you are going to do therapy for social anxiety I'd strongly recommend it be a very directive approach based in Cognitive-Behavioral therapy with someone who has experience in it. Basic talk therapy has its limitations and if you truly want to overcome social anxiety you are going to have to make behavioral changes sooner or later anyway. One thing you might also look into is a therapy called Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. It is something I have started on my own and it looks very promising. Its goal is to help you live a productive life even with all your problems instead of waiting to be "cured" before starting to live.
Fascinating. I'll look that up.
One thing you should ask yourself is how much you really want to get better. I have learned that my depression and anxiety serve a useful purpose for me as well. They let me shield myself from everything I find unpleasant and give me an excuse for my failures or not even trying in the first place. Not having anxiety would mean I would have to do things very differently in my life and that thought scares me. I am still here though and still trying at it so don't give up on anything either.
One of the issues I have slowly started to come to realize is -- how much more detatched I have been getting to those around me. I mean to the point where I am not feeling any emotions anymore and that is starting to scare me.
While I -- understand my depression and my mental health can help me, especially in my writings, I also understand that I cannot keep cutting out sections of my life that don't fit.
Bolian, you mentioned two options that have been made available to you: medication and therapy, neither of which has worked for you. I don't know if any kind of alternative treatment would help, e.g., talking to an herbalist, doing acupuncture, exploring Eastern medicine, etc.
Stabby, stabby? I do meditate a lot and I am getting into herbalism and...other things. I have -- I do not want to go down that route yet without exploring and exhausting all other options.
Now I realize that medication isn't always the answer to people who suffer from depression/anxiety or manic disorders, but from what I've learned, cognitive behavioral therapy often works (at least for certain anxieties such as social or specific phobias). You realize you have to make yourself better, but in order to do this, (1) you've got to make an effort to seek the type(s) of treatment that will work for you and (2) don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. I'm reading from your second reason that you're not comfortable with one-on-one or even group therapy, but if therapy is what you need to get better, then you HAVE to give it a try.
While that is true, stepping out of my comfort zone would be ideal, and I have already done a few things to ensure that I have (or I wouldn't be in Philly) I have tried group therapy and one on one sessions with limited to no success. I did enjoy some time with my therapist but it seems to me that -- I wasn't getting any better, nor any worse.
You asked what people would do in your situation. A better question is, what would YOU do in your situation? I certainly hope you get better. Good luck.
That is a fairly good question and personally I am at a loss. I have tried multiple things so far and thus far, completely cutting myself off to emotions and compartentilizing my life into sections have has success, except...it's exhausting to keep everything clear of each other.
