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What would you do,if you came across a crashed alien aircraft?

KL700

Lieutenant
What creatively and/or humorously witty thing/s would you most want to do, if you came across a crashed alien aircraft ?
 
Auction if off the to highest bidder, or take it on a cruise around the cosmos to find things worth selling. The time traveling con man from "A Matter of Time" was the best capitalist in Star Trek history, and in science fiction probably second only to Biff Tannen before that annoying kid and wild eyed scientist got in the way.

Though I suppose if it was an intact and obvious alien ship, the highest bid would be the air force's promise not to arrest and/or shoot me for trying to sell it.
 
Take it, cruise around the galaxy, occassionally sell off blueprints of minor bits of technology from it to governments around the world.

And, if it's armed with fancy high-tech alien weapons, maybe take over a country or two and rule from on high.
 
And, if it's armed with fancy high-tech alien weapons, maybe take over a country or two and rule from on high.

And I for one welcome our new Scottish Overlord, and gently remind him he will need trusted lieutenants in positions of power to spread the gospels of Delta Quadrant and Lords Of The Storm.
 
Find out if the pilot is anywhere near by, and if he is (and he is in fact a he) kick him in the knees, which I'm sure is where his species keeps their genitals.
 
And, if it's armed with fancy high-tech alien weapons, maybe take over a country or two and rule from on high.

And I for one welcome our new Scottish Overlord, and gently remind him he will need trusted lieutenants in positions of power to spread the gospels of Delta Quadrant and Lords Of The Storm.

Ah, that's officer material right there... and a great avatar too.
 
What creatively and/or humorously witty thing/s would you most want to do, if you came across a crashed alien aircraft ?
  1. Take the ring and become a Green Lantern
  2. Raise the child inside to stand for Truth, Justice and the American Way
  3. Convince everyone the alien is my Uncle Martin
  4. Na noo na noo
 
goddamn, everyone's stolen the good jokes.

oh, wait...

combine the dead alien's DNA with a human's to create a human-alien hybrid super-soldier!

(a thousand quatloos to the person who IDs the source for that reference.)
 
in reality, I'll probably die of radiation over-dose in a matter of hours.

in fantasy, I'll tell the aliens that I'm the President of Earth and that they should take everything I say about earth as the absolute truth.
 
I think this is a trick question. The answer is that I would call the local police or rescue department of whatever planet I was on. After all, if it's an alien aircraft, then it follows that it lacks extra-atmospheric capability; therefore if I come across it, I must be on the planet of its origin.

Although, wait a minute... if the craft is on its own planet, that would make me the alien. So that doesn't work. If it's an alien aircraft, then it's both a) from another planet than my own and b) incapable of space travel. Therefore, I would have to conclude that it had been launched from a mothership of some sort (i.e. something akin to the Visitor shuttles and fighters in V), or else that it had been constructed by aliens living/operating here on Earth. (Although a less likely possibility is that it was transported through a wormhole or similar shortcut, like when Stargate Command sends a UAV through the Gate.)
 
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