What Does It Mean To Be Happy?

[Brutal Strudel]

There is pain and there is pleasure. There is evil and there is a good. And none of it--not one iota--means a god-damned thing. Even so, I find having a stripper's ass in my face makes me happy. Indeed, I can think of no better anti-depressant. Unfortunately, it's not covered under my health insurance.

 

[Shaw]

Happiness is absolutely different things for different people.

Personally I've never found material gains to equate to any feelings of happiness I've experienced. I've had and lost most of the material things I had wanted by the time I was 30, so I've stopped putting value on such fleeting things. Knowledge is the only thing that one can possess and (hopefully) not lose.

But even then, I wouldn't classify the acquisition of knowledge as happiness.

For me, personally, happiness is being loved by someone I love. For me nothing else runs even close for generating happiness. I've been through hard times and I'm sure to encounter more in the future (such is the nature of life), but I can face all those hardships with a smile if I know I have that connection with someone else... if I know I'm not alone.

Again though, that is for me. What makes me happy is different from what makes others happy... it is important that you figure out what it is that works for you. After all, if you don't know what makes you happy, how are you supposed to achieve it?

 

[Jadzia]

If I could grant you one wish, to make one change in your life, that would improve the way you feel with some permanence... what might you wish for?

I honestly don't know. I guess it would be not to feel the fear of life that I do. I just look at so much of the outside world and think I can never do that, I am not equipped to handle that kind of challenge.

That sounds like your unhappiness is rooted in self confidence issues.

I think it's worth pointing out that we are all individuals. And as indivuduals, we all have unique preferences: Stuff that we like to do and stuff that we try to avoid doing.

Preferences are not things to 'get over'. We shouldn't overzealously label them as phobias just because others might have different preferences to us. Coming to terms with "this is who I am" is important for everybody's happiness I would think.

I imagine unhappiness can arise where there is conflict between one's preferences, or where one's preferences are not day-to-day practical.


For you, you say there are many things which you'd like to do, but then you tell yourself that you can't do them. This judgement comes from other preferences you have that are conflicting the desire to do; preferences to avoid certain feelings/experiences that you are anticipating.

I believe happiness requires some degree of self understanding of these other preferences.

Tell us one small thing that you feel you'd like to do, but feel unable to do.

 

[Brutal Strudel]

Good point, Medusa. Modern society--mostly in the name of pushing pills--has managed to pathologize just about every rough edge of personality that makes us human. Then again, I have a low opinion of humanity (I commonly refer to us as a blight--considering that we have had a more devastating impact on this planet than the asteroid that wiped out the great lizards, I think that's an accurate assessment, not to mention the wonderful things we've done to each other over the millennia)...

 

[Kestra]

Good point, Medusa. Modern society--mostly in the name of pushing pills--has managed to pathologize just about every rough edge of personality that makes us human.

That's a bit of an exaggeration. Many of my quirks have gone completely undiagnosed!

Re: being happy. I don't really have an answer. I know I'm happiest when I'm helping other people, but I also know that that's not enough in itself. I'm trying to figure out what makes me happy in a standalone way and I honestly don't know.

Happiness comes in so many forms. There are short moments of temporary but intense joy, or a steady contentment over a period of time, or milestones of achievement and satisfaction. And many more. Each form is important in different ways, and achieved in different ways. I think I personally need a mix of them to truly feel what I consider "happy."

 

[Michael Chris]

For me happiness is a thread of joy that runs throughout my life. It is not a transient kind of thing. I feel happy even when I face all sorts of bad things. I might have temporary sorrows, but that is just temporary. I would say that desires is not bad. The problem is when you try to fill those desires with things that are ungodly. Find a way to desire the things of God and set out to accomplish them and you will be happy.

 

[ManOnTheWave]

There is pain and there is pleasure. There is evil and there is a good. And none of it--not one iota--means a god-damned thing. Even so, I find having a stripper's ass in my face makes me happy. Indeed, I can think of no better anti-depressant. Unfortunately, it's not covered under my health insurance.

And yet, my favorite swanky dancer reminded me frequently that she was cheaper than therapy.