We haven't had a conversation about tipping in awhile

[Amaris]

I agree. I seldom tip above the standard, that's for truly exceptional service.

I've had servers get upset that I tip below what they feel they've earned. One incident was when me and a few friends had dinner at a Steak and Shake. The total, for all 4 of us, came to about $60. I tipped $5, but I didn't quite have enough to tip the extra $3 that I normally would. Still, I thought $5 was fair because aside from our initial orders, we didn't bother her the whole time we were there. On top of that, I bussed the table. I always have everyone put the plates, saucers, cups, etc., in the center of the table, and I wipe down the table as best as I can, to remove some of the work required to get the table ready for another customer.

So I paid for dinner (it was on me that night), and I walked back and put the $5 on the table. As I was walking away, I heard her say "Five dollars? What a cheap ass!"

Sometimes you get people like that. Not all servers are like that, though.

 

[Shanndee]

I don't believe in the idea of "if you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to eat out", and I say that as someone who has been a server, and a busboy. I don't like the idea of "if you can't give me a tip, then you shouldn't be here".

THANK YOU. I will never understand this attitude. When I was going to school (and working 3 part time jobs to get by), there were times that the only reward I could give myself was a meal that I didn't have the time (or the energy) to cook myself. I sometimes only had enough to pay for the meal, and there is no way anyone can convince me that that I shouldn't have been in a restaurant because I "couldn't afford it".

Now that I have graduated and have a reliable income I always tip good service, but I don't feel it is fair to make a sweeping statement like the one in the OP.

 

[Amaris]

I don't believe in the idea of "if you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to eat out", and I say that as someone who has been a server, and a busboy. I don't like the idea of "if you can't give me a tip, then you shouldn't be here".

THANK YOU. I will never understand this attitude. When I was going to school (and working 3 part time jobs to get by), there were times that the only reward I could give myself was a meal that I didn't have the time (or the energy) to cook myself. I sometimes only had enough to pay for the meal, and there is no way anyone can convince me that that I shouldn't have been in a restaurant because I "couldn't afford it".

Now that I have graduated and have a reliable income I always tip good service, but I don't feel it is fair to make a sweeping statement like the one in the OP.

Glad to hear you're doing well!

Anyway, yes, it bothers me because it shifts focus from the customer to the server. It goes from "How can I serve you today?" to "How much can you do for me?" It makes it seem like the restaurant is to cater to the server, and not the customer, and that's ridiculous.

 

[RoJoHen]

Bad tippers are annoying, but they are the minority.

Awesome tippers are awesome, but they are equally a minority.

Most people are average tippers. On a given night I can pretty much guess how much money I made based on how busy I felt I was because, in general, most people tip the same way, and the shitty tips tend to get canceled out by the awesome tips anyway.

The one instance where bad tips are extra irritating is when you are waiting on a large group of people with a very large tab, and they don't tip accordingly.

Overall, though, I've gotten over it. I tip like a crazy person because I am in the industry and that's just what we do.

 

[Alidar Jarok]

I agree. I seldom tip above the standard, that's for truly exceptional service.

I've had servers get upset that I tip below what they feel they've earned. One incident was when me and a few friends had dinner at a Steak and Shake. The total, for all 4 of us, came to about $60. I tipped $5, but I didn't quite have enough to tip the extra $3 that I normally would. Still, I thought $5 was fair because aside from our initial orders, we didn't bother her the whole time we were there. On top of that, I bussed the table. I always have everyone put the plates, saucers, cups, etc., in the center of the table, and I wipe down the table as best as I can, to remove some of the work required to get the table ready for another customer.

So I paid for dinner (it was on me that night), and I walked back and put the $5 on the table. As I was walking away, I heard her say "Five dollars? What a cheap ass!"

Sometimes you get people like that. Not all servers are like that, though.

You gave less than 10% tip? Was the service bad?

 

[Amaris]

I agree. I seldom tip above the standard, that's for truly exceptional service.

I've had servers get upset that I tip below what they feel they've earned. One incident was when me and a few friends had dinner at a Steak and Shake. The total, for all 4 of us, came to about $60. I tipped $5, but I didn't quite have enough to tip the extra $3 that I normally would. Still, I thought $5 was fair because aside from our initial orders, we didn't bother her the whole time we were there. On top of that, I bussed the table. I always have everyone put the plates, saucers, cups, etc., in the center of the table, and I wipe down the table as best as I can, to remove some of the work required to get the table ready for another customer.

So I paid for dinner (it was on me that night), and I walked back and put the $5 on the table. As I was walking away, I heard her say "Five dollars? What a cheap ass!"

Sometimes you get people like that. Not all servers are like that, though.

You gave less than 10% tip? Was the service bad?

The service was fair for what it was. It was late at night, we were just about the only other patrons in the restaurant, save for 2 or three other people on the other side of the room.

Also, I don't go by percentages. Higher food cost does not translate to bigger tip.

 

[Grey]

Ok...I'm one of those people who struggles to afford eating out, much less the tip. But 138 dollars? Being poor means figuring how to eat out on a budget. Spending that much (this was at a restaurant right? Not a grocery store?) on dinner officially cancels your use of the "too poor to tip" clause.

I had an annoying experience at a new restaurant near me. I'm used to some places including a 15 or so percent service charge for parties of six of more, but this one included it for everyone.

I actually wish all restaurants were like that. This thread is a perfect example. You've got people, genuinely decent people, who tip a certain amount and offend their servers, and then you've got servers, genuinely decent servers, who manage to offend their customers who have to tip them something. No one is ever happy. I'd rather have a system where all the guesswork is taken out of it. No percentages. No which friend is tipping tonight and which friend is the cheapass? No who's food do I spit in tonight?

I know it's not perfect but I hate guessing in ambiguous situations where everyone has a strong opinion. And it sucks that people who are forced to rely on tips for income aren't even guaranteed that income, because technically no one is forced to leave a tip. They're only getting paid by a high-pressure honor system.

 

[MacLeod]

Well of course one way to remove the abiguity is to simple increase servers wages to the minimum wage, True this would add cost to the food.

As for tips then it would be the patrons decision as to whether or not to leave a tip instead of feeling under preasure to leave one.

But if servers do better out of the tipping system they wouldn't in general want to change it.

But who would benefit more from the change the consumer or the server/waiter?

 

[Trekker4747]

If you can afford 138 dollars of food, you can afford a tip.

If not...COOK YOUR OWN FOOD OR EAT LESS.

Sort of what I was thinking, she can afford to spend $138 on a meal as a single mom but couldn't drop down at least another measly $10-$15 for a tip? Bitch.

 

[Alidar Jarok]

I've had servers get upset that I tip below what they feel they've earned. One incident was when me and a few friends had dinner at a Steak and Shake. The total, for all 4 of us, came to about $60. I tipped $5, but I didn't quite have enough to tip the extra $3 that I normally would. Still, I thought $5 was fair because aside from our initial orders, we didn't bother her the whole time we were there. On top of that, I bussed the table. I always have everyone put the plates, saucers, cups, etc., in the center of the table, and I wipe down the table as best as I can, to remove some of the work required to get the table ready for another customer.

So I paid for dinner (it was on me that night), and I walked back and put the $5 on the table. As I was walking away, I heard her say "Five dollars? What a cheap ass!"

Sometimes you get people like that. Not all servers are like that, though.

You gave less than 10% tip? Was the service bad?

The service was fair for what it was. It was late at night, we were just about the only other patrons in the restaurant, save for 2 or three other people on the other side of the room.

Also, I don't go by percentages. Higher food cost does not translate to bigger tip.

See, from my perspective, I would be spending the rest of the night wondering what I did wrong. Since there is a social convention, such a dramatic departure from it would have to mean something and someone else's idiosyncratic tendencies wouldn't cross my mind. Instead, I would normally be expecting 9-12 dollars unless I gave bad service and always hope to get more if I gave exceptional service.

Keep in mind the server would probably be there for the hour with you plus near an hour after to clean up the restaurant. For this, she is compensated $2.23 an hour. That plus your five would be 9.46 for two hours.

 

[The Green Mushroom]

If I ruled the world, or at least America, I would simply roll the cost of the tip into the food and pay waiters a decent wage.

But until that magical moment when I get to tell everyone else how to live rolls around, you have to tip and you have to tip appropriately unless the waiter does something royally bad.

I went to the store yesterday to buy groceries and my entire bill was less than $138. Unless I run out of milk, I'm probably not going back for another week. If you can afford to drop that on one meal, you can afford to tip.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

My favorite tipping is when people leave evangelical tracts.

 

[SmoothieX]

I find it very refreshing when I travel somewhere tipping is not part of the culture. I know you have to here, but it generally ends up as $1 for lunch, or $2 for dinner.

 

[Starbreaker]

I hate bad tippers. I went to eat with a friend who said "I don't tip because people choose to work these jobs." Never going anywhere with that jerk again. I normally give $2 if you just set my drinks down and gave me maybe one refill and never bothered to check up on me, but if you really take care of me without being obnoxious I'll leave a good tip.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

Well, I'm not saying servers don't deserve to be tipped well. I'm just saying that being a server shouldn't automatically mean a tip must be forthcoming. Poor service gets a poor tip. If the server has a bad attitude along with the bad service, I give no tip. Some servers find that harsh, I find it fair.

There are people who say that if you don't have the money to tip, you don't have the money to eat out. Fine. I say if you don't have the ability to offer a reasonable level of service, you don't get a tip.

I agree, and I don't tip if the service is poor. But the example in the OP implied that the service was fine. Big difference.

I had an annoying experience at a new restaurant near me. I'm used to some places including a 15 or so percent service charge for parties of six of more, but this one included it for everyone.

I actually wish all restaurants were like that.,,,

Yes, so do I. But since we don't, it's real annoying to have one owner of mediocre restaurants (turns out that he owns two other places that I've tried and not liked ) do it on his own and then pull an attitude when a customer politely questions it.

If I ruled the world, or at least America, I would simply roll the cost of the tip into the food and pay waiters a decent wage.

Amen.

 

[1001001]

You have to take care of your people.

 

[JoeZhang]

You have to take care of your people.

Who's people? The owner of the place you are eating in? Yes I agree he/she should pay their staff a living wage.

 

[Biffette]

I live in Washington State, where every server is paid at least the state minimum wage before tips. Because of this, I am unconcerned about how much I tip and have no hesitations on the few occasions where no tip is warranted. This is not the case when I travel to Michigan, where a server is often earning less than half of that state's minimum wage and needs to make up the rest via tipping. In those cases I tip imo generously.

Here is a handy guide that shows each US state's minimum wage vs. the minimum wage paid to servers:

http://www.dol.gov/whd/state/tipped.htm#.UJVRFoZlDIU

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Put me down in the "if you can't afford to tip properly, don't eat out" column.

Giving less than 10% if the service is adequate is simply unacceptable. My base tip starts in the 15-20% range (I tend to round up to the next dollar anyway.) It can go up if you are just crazy awesome, or down if you are terrible.

I have never just not tipped because I couldn't afford it. I have left meager tips or not tipped at all when I got bad service. I usually complain to the manager when that happens, too. Fortunately, it is not all that often.

As for the example in the OP... that's just unreal. I sure hope it is the exception. If someone can spend over $100 a meal, they can damn well tip for it properly. "Single mom," my ass.

 

[tighr]

If I ruled the world, or at least America, I would simply roll the cost of the tip into the food and pay waiters a decent wage.

This gives me an interesting idea. If/when I ever open my own restaurant, I wonder if a successful experiment would be to pay the servers based on commission. Advertise that tips aren't necessary, and that servers work on commission. Raise the price of all the food by 15% or so, and don't put a "tip" column on the receipt. All prices would already be "gratuity inclusive".

Servers would get 15% of everything they sold. Would this encourage servers to upsell? Would this encourage patrons to frequent the establishment knowing that their bill would be a no-nonsense affair?

If patrons felt that the server did an amazing job, they'd certainly be more than welcome to leave a few extra bucks on the table.

Seems like a worthwhile experiment, at least.