Contest: ENTER Voyager Contest: Consequences

[Catarina]

So much for being back.
Major laptop gremlins I had to send in my laptop for repair. But it's fixed now. What is with my technology luck? I'm the Kate mulgrew of technology. clueless. I own a crappy tablet that crashes (cheap android) and now this...

Here's my half-assed update so you can let your imagination run wild. I'm not feeling up to judging today.

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Amazing work, Mr. Paris. This Chakotay mannequin not only looks just like him, but it even has his personality.

Mr. Neelix, if you'll just hold still, I can remove the part of your brain responsible for annoyance. It's right about....here!

Lt. Paris, we're out of office supplies. What should we do?

I'll handle this.
<< presses com badge >>

Computer voice: That was easy

 

[tharpdevenport]

Woodcotay: "Here's my half-assed report so you can let your imagination run wild. I'm not feeling up to commanding today."

Janeway: "Suck it up, commander. This is why I had lizard babies with Tom."

 

[Finn]

Janeway: Tuvok actually appears more emotional and passionate than you...somehow

 

[2takesfrakes]

"What's with you and Seven, Chakotay? I thought I was the only woman for you, onboard this ship (even though I always shoot you down)"

"Yes, Kathryn."

"That was our thing - you know? Our thing, Chakotay ..."

"Yes, Kathryn."

"I should've known never to trust a Maquis ..."

"Yes, Kathryn."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Old Lady Fingers: "Did you remember to take out the space trash?"

Woodcotay: "Ah..."

Old Lady Fingers: "You didn't remember to take out the space trash, did you?"

Woodcotay: "No, I'll put it out now for the next pick up."

Old Lady Fingers: "You know you can't leave it beside the beacon for that long, the Ferengi will get into it and make a space mess."

Woodcotay: "I know, I know..."

Old Lady Fingers: "Don't 'I know' me, mister! "

Woodcotay: "Nag, nag, nag!"

Old Lady Fingers: "And another thing: You're getting awfully friendly with that new neighbor of ours, Annika....."

 

[Nerys Myk]

PARIS: My gum, just where I left it.

SEVEN: Stop playing with my stuff!!!!!

 

[f14peter]

JANEWAY: "Chakotay, what's the status of ... Chakotay! ... Commander!"

CHAKOTAY: "Huh? ... wha-what?"

JANEWAY: "Commander, are you alright? Uh oh, have you gone on one of those vision-quest things of yours, the Huichol version you're so fond of?"

CHAKOTAY: "Uuuhhhhhhh ... ummmmmm ... I er ... uh ... yeah, I uh ... I 'spose"

JANEWAY: "Just great! So right now you're in the middle of a raging peyote bender, aren't you?"

CHAKOTAY: "Wow ... the back of Paris' head looks like Neelix's butt ...hee hee"

DOCTOR (Taps Neelix's forehead): "Does that hurt?"

NEELIX: "Ouch, yes it does!"

DOCTOR (Taps Neelix's forehead again, harder): "Now, does that hurt?"

NEELIX: "OWWWWWW!!! Yes it hurts!"

DOCTOR: (Taps Neelix's forehead again, even harder): "Does that hurt"

NEELIX: "AAAAAAAAAAHHHH, HELL YES IT HURTS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?!?"

DOCTOR: "Just testing out the new asshole subroutine I wrote for myself"

GUARD: "Please place your commbadge on the counter sir before you enter the cell"

PARIS: "So ... right here?"

GUARD: "Yes, right there"

PARIS: "here, on the counter?"

GUARD: "Right there, on the counter!"

PARIS: "The counter you say?"

GUARD: (sigh) "Yes! On the counter"

PARIS: "Are you sure? Cuzz I could put it over there if you want"

GUARD: "NO SIR! On the counter!"

PARIS: "Here?"

GUARD: "YES!!!!!!"

PARIS: "Not over there, but here?"

GUARD: "JUST GET IN THE FRICKIN' CELL!!!!!!"

JANEWAY: "Yea Queenie, really love what you've done with the place ... the green spotlights, the green accent lights, the green indirect lighting, the green display indicators, all really highlight your green eyes ... at least I think they're green, hard to tell in all this green"

 

[Jonny]

Janeway: You bet on Aston Villa winning the Premier League?
Chakotay: ...No...
Janeway: Chakotay...
Chakotay: Maybe...
Janeway: Idiot. Even Neelix knew they were rubbish.

Neelix: Ooh I have a little itch on my forehead. Any chance you can scratch it Doctor?

Janeway: Look...Seven...I appreciate you like the colour green but this is ridiculous.

 

[LeadHead]

Janeway: Did you tell Harry?

Chakotay: Yes, I told him that this chair is now the Captain's chair and yours is now for the first officer.

Janeway: Good, Seven will bring Naomi up here during Harry's watch and have her sit in my seat.

Chakotay: I'll make sure to call the bridge and ask for "Captain Naomi."

Janeway: The camera's are all set and Neelix has the popcorn ready. This is gonna be great!

EMH: I'm sorry, Mister Neelix, but if you insist on my dealing with your itches any further, I will use a laser scalpel.

Paris had a hard time saying goodbye to his iBadge 5.

Janeway: I will not be assimilated... any further...

 

[Catarina]

Judging you as I speak. muahahaa.

Captain's Log Star date *pauses* Let's do this archaic way- June 14th; I don't know what came over me. I was walking down the corridor when suddenly I wasn't me anymore. I was possessed by Robert Beltran! who is impeccable at Shakespeare but not a console. Hmm. The crew came to my rescue. And there was some other B plot...I forget, but it's just filler. Or was my dilemma the B plot? It was so ridiculous. I look forward to resuming my duties.

 

[Catarina]

Woodcotay: "Here's my half-assed report so you can let your imagination run wild. I'm not feeling up to commanding today."

Janeway: "Suck it up, commander. This is why I had lizard babies with Tom."

ahhh, yes I play favorites and you are one of them.

 

[tharpdevenport]

SEVEN: Stop playing with my stuff!!!!!

Janeway: "Define 'stuff'..."

 

[T'Ressa Dax]

Doctor: Hold still while I connect your dots.