Voyager Caption This: Saturday Night Blood Fever

[Evil Twin]

*sigh* I tried, I really tried, but gosh darn it, there were just too many good ones for me to choose a winner last round! Therefore I'm awarding everyone with:

It's the hottest thing since Cabbage Patch Kids!
It vocalizes, it excretes, it assimilates small
household pets. It's My First Borg(tm)!
(Maturation Chamber Playset sold separately)

Up next:

 

[Gertch]

Congrats to Everyone! Oops, you guys gotta change that diaper.

EMH: "If he doesn't comply I'll transfer him to Enterprises lower decks."

Fantastic Four: Delta Quadrant was off to a rocky start.

 

[Nebusj]

``Now, Kes, Vulcans are typically difficult patients since they cannot be bribed into behaving because, quote, `lollipops are not logical', unquote.''

``I'm sorry, Team Voyager, you've finished second and so another one of you is going to be voted off of the Delta Quadrant.''

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"Ah, B'Elanna, I'm glad you could come. Mr. Vorik here is insisting that only YOU can perform his colonoscopy."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Tuvok: "... yes Captain, we've been searching for five hours but we still can't find Commander Chakotay."

Chakotay: "I'm right here."

B'Elanna: "Tell her we need more people on the ground here. I can beam up and enhance the sensors."

Chakotay: "Hello! Guys! Right here! Oi!"

Paris: "I'll be able to cover more ground in the Flyer."

Chakotay: "You don't need to search. What am I? Invisible?"

Tuvok: "Then it is settled. While you prepare the additional landing parties Captain, Torres and Paris will beam back up, while Vorik and I continue the search on foot."

Janeway: "Acknowledged. Good luck."

Chakotay: "Morons, can't see the wood for the trees!"

Kes: "You have to help B'Elanna. He's stuck in diva mode. Keeps autographing cleavage. Has been doing so for the last 12 hours."

Vorik: "I would not mind, but he uses a protoplaser instead of a pen."

 

[Rat Boy]

Tuvok: "Would someone mind explaining the logic of us wearing heavier clothing in a hot jungle?"

Paris: "Sweeps."

The Doctor: "You know Vulcans; you need two people for the 'turn your head and cough' part of the examination."

 

[Gertch]

B'Elanna: "I told him to clean his station and he took a tantrum. See what you can do."

 

[DizzyMan]

B'Elanna: "Need a hand checking his testacles?"

OR

Kes: "I hope you two aren't playing with the toys again. We've got customers here and those burgers don't make themselves!"

Vorik: "Computer, remove another item of B'Elanna's clothing, and give me a tommy gun."

 

[Kegek]

Torres: Neuter him.

Remarkably, Tuvok had a logical reason for fist-pumping.

 

[Rat Boy]

Tuvok: "Illogical, Lieutenant Torres. How can paper defeat rock?"

 

[DizzyMan]

Love your second one, Kegek

 

[Nerys Myk]

Tuvok: Ok who's with me? All together now! Kill Whitey!!!!"

PAris; "yeah!!!! Kill white.....hey!!!!"

 

[DizzyMan]

Nerys: LOL Ha ha ha ha ha!

See, I have no problem with jokes about racism. What's the big deal?

 

[Sephiroth]

the members of Big Tuvok's entorage backed off and started praying as he brought out his "pimp hand"

 

[Laren]

Tuvok: This will have consequences, Lt. Torres!

Torres: Walk on, Pointy Ears!

 

[Rat Boy]

The Doctor: "Will you two please put your pants back on? I'm trying to cure Mr. Vorik of his pon farr, not encourage it!"

 

[Gertch]

Kes: "Right on time for your breast exam B'Elanna. Please remove your top and we can get started."

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Vorik: Good Lord. The way your outfit clings to your body, leaving nothing to the imagination! If the others were not here, I would throw you to the ground and make sweet, sweet pon farr to you right here and now!

Torres: What?!?

Paris: Hey, you can't talk to B'Elanna like that!

Vorik: Who said I was talking to B'Elanna? Now, Mr. Tuvok, as I was saying...

 

[Candlelight]

"B'Elanna, I've told you before - STOP GLUING PEOPLE'S ARMS TOGETHER!"

Two seconds later, Tuvok punched Torres.

Three seconds later, Tuvok died.

 

[Tralis]

The Laughing Vulcan, both of yours cracked me up!