Voyager Caption This: Crapthexis

[Evil Twin]

Last round's winners:

Leonard McCoy's sudden appearance in Janeway's quarters wasn't as shocking to Q as his preparation for and willingness to conduct Q's first manual colonoscopy.

Q: I call it a Q-Pod. It has a terrabite of memory so you can listen to my ponderings, stories, and wisdom for literally years. Oh yeah, I also put the Hamster Dance on it.

And your prize:

A lifetime supply of grape Kool-Aid! I think...

Up next (I actually broke out the DVDs for these, which I haven't done in a LOOONG time )

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Tom: "Lucky for us, I know how to use the dermal regenerator to remove hickeys. Otherwise, B'Elanna would kill us both."

The Inaugural Voyager Dance Dance Revolution contest was soon halted due to injuries.

EMH: "And now we'll modify the Commander's tattoo to say 'Me Love You Long Time'..."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

EMH: "... and you're under. Now listen carefully Commander. Whenever you say Akoochimoya, you will simultaneously violently break wind. Now you will not recall this conversation, and you'll wake when I finish counting to ten. One... two... three..."

Chakotay offscreen: "Akoochimoya"

 

[Triskelion]

Ok we're auditioning for a new android. Everybody do the robot!

And if you buy the complete set of bubble bath salts I'll throw in this exfoliator for free.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Madness!! One Step BEYOND!!!!!

TORRES: We're gonna need a lot more rocks.

 

[Jptrekker]

When Chakotay broke out Picard's assless chaps, it was too much for the crew to bear!

Winning two weeks in a row! Woo Hoo! Thanks evil twin!

 

[AdmiralGarak]

Torres: "I don't believe it! All these years and... it's a rub on!"

 

[Triskelion]

Captain Janeway is satisfied with the trial results: ten drunken ensigns are a fair trade for a Vulcan tactical officer.

Doctor: For my first attempt at being the ship's new party planner, I present the Naked Disembodied Commander combo sushi-soy-wasabi tray.
Janeway: Remarkably life-like.

Sorry I got a little rough, Captain darling. I forgot "rotate" was the safe word.

 

[Rat Boy]

Tom rigged every screen on the ship to show "2 Girls, 1 Cup."

The Doctor: "What do you mean you didn't notice that he fell into a coma?"

Janeway: "Well, have you seen how he normally acts?"

Paris: "That'll teach you to play with rusty knives."

 

[Candlelight]

Movie-goers rush out of Lindsay Lohan's latest movie.

"Why are you putting Commander Chakotay on that stone?"
"Er, I'm holding the stone, Chakotay is on the bottom."
"Come again?"

"Don't worry Captain, fans will forget about this hairstyle by next season and you can go back to having you bun for a bit"

 

[Jptrekker]

There's only so much medical science can do to slow down the progression, you have a choice, either stop smoking or your voice is going to get gravelier and gravelier until it's gone.

 

[Broccoli]

Tom rigged every screen on the ship to show "2 Girls, 1 Cup."

 

[Nebusj]

Re: Voyager Caption This: Capthexis

``16 ... 17 ... 18 psi ... man, it takes forever to inflate your own Captain.''

``Quick, everyone! We have to get out there and represent the lollipop guild!''

``Well, you've survived, but we've had to replace your whole body below your neck with rich, creamery butter. I hope you like your new foil wrapping.''

 

[Candlelight]

Re: Voyager Caption This: Capthexis

Contrary to popular belief, Chakotay actually stayed dead after Cathexis. The remaining 6.5 years was a mix of very good stunt acting on Beltran's behalf and papier mache.

 

[Gertch]

Re: Voyager Caption This: Capthexis

``16 ... 17 ... 18 psi ... man, it takes forever to inflate your own Captain.''






``Well, you've survived, but we've had to replace your whole body below your neck with rich, creamery butter. I hope you like your new foil wrapping.''

Nice ones. The second is so far out there I love it the most.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Re: Voyager Caption This: Capthexis

JANEWAY: Any idea what they slipped him?

EMH: I'm still tying to figure out why he was at a High School Prom!

TORRES: I wish I looked that good in my prom dress.

 

[SciFi75]

Re: Voyager Caption This: Capthexis

Torres: Did you manage to find his balls?

Janeway: Meh. He never used them anyway.

 

[SciFi75]

Re: Voyager Caption This: Capthexis

The crews curiosity of what a Talaxian looked like naked were sadly answered when Neelix appeared on the bridge sleep walking in the nude.

 

[Candlelight]

Re: Voyager Caption This: Capthexis

"Once I get these bolts on your neck, all we need is a bolt of lightning"
"I'm Janeway you idiot! Chakotay is over there"

(Doing a lot of Chakotay-is-dead jokes this week, aren't I?)

 

[Candlelight]

Re: Voyager Caption This: Capthexis

Where will you be when team diarrhea strikes?