Voyager Caption Contest #63: No, Seriously?

[Captain Crow]

"Back off or the boobs get it."

Janeway, offscreen: But Harry and Neelix aren't in the room.

Seven: Those aren't the boobs he's referring to Captain.

Janeway: Oh.

 

[TigerOfDarkness]

Chakotay: Hello, we'd like you to have this flower from the religious consciousness church, would you like to make a donation?

 

[Isis]

Chakotay: "Will you accept this rose?"

Woman (to self): "Well, it's been more than 300 years since a marriage came out of 'The Bachelor.' And if he ends up choosing me over all the other girls, we'll be great fodder for 'Entertainment Tonight' and 'People' magazine. Maybe one of us would have to go on 'Dancing With the Stars.' Hey, that would make me a star!"

Woman: "Of course I will."

 

[Isis]

Everyone was pretty surprised when Kim did decently at Simon Says.

 

[Nerys Myk]

CHAKOTAY: Uh, yeah thanks. We're still razing the village though.

 

[Nerys Myk]

CHAKOTAY: Wow, so your entire fashion sense is based on the costumes from the old Planet of the Apes TV show?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Chakotay: Hello, we'd like you to have this flower from the religious consciousness church, would you like to make a donation?

Woman: No thanks, we gave at the office.

 

[Captain Crow]

Chakotay: Hello, we'd like you to have this flower from the religious consciousness church, would you like to make a donation?

[Robert Stack in a pilot's uniform decks Chakotay]

[Another guy walks up waving a pamphlet]

Guy: Scientol...

[Robert Stack backflips him]

Guy: ...ogyyyyyyy?!

 

[Gary7]

Chakotay: (thinking) I'm in a jungle. I've got a rifle slung over my shoulder. A woman just handed me a yellow rose. And the old man's name is Axel. Why am I feeling like this has some connection with a hard rock band?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Woman: You've done great service for the Vori people. They want to see you back at headquarters.

Chakotay: Headquarters? What is it?

Man: It's a big building where generals meet. But that's not important right now.

 

[Isis]

Chakotay: "Will you accept this rose?"

Guy on left: "I never knew you felt that way. Of course I will."

Woman on right (to self): "Damn! I should have listened when all my friends warned me this show was fixed."

 

[Isis]

Seven got the lead in "Spaceballs, the Musical."

 

[Isis]

Torres: "I'm so disappointed. I wanted this episode to be about space hippies."

 

[Captain Crow]

Harry Kim ended up in one of the worst places in the the universe. A mime convention.

Guy: Oh, thank Zombie Jesus! Voyager beamed Kes and Neelix out before they started the heavy duty humping.

Transporter operator, over communicator: We have them. What the fu...?! [gasps] OH, GOD! [vomiting sound] How the hell do I unsee this?! Wait. No. No! NO! NOT THE "O" FACE!!

[Neelix heard grunting over communicator]

Transporter operator, over communicator: AHHHH!!! THE "O" FACE!!

[Phaser shot]

[comedic beat]

[sound of body hitting the floor]

 

[Isis]

Kes was proud of the surgery she performed after reading "Lobotomies for Dummies."

Harry was literally caught red-handed after eating counterfeit M&M's.

 

[Alrik]

B'Elana: "Finally. I thought they'd never leave."

Kyrian leader: "I want the replicator patterns for duplicating her implants, or I off your Borg."

Janeway: "You don't understand. We don't have the ability to replicate Borg technology."

Kyrian leader: "Not THOSE implants, geez, do I have to spell it out?"

EMH: "Alright, I'll admit it. This bondage thing isn't as bad as I thougt it would be."

Chakotay: "Gee, thanks. I'm really flattered and you're a great girl and all.
But where I come from, you plus me equalls jail time."

Harry: "A flash mob?! Seriously?! That is soooo last year."

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Hello~ This contest is officially closed but the new one can be found at these co-ordinates:

http://www.trekbbs.com/showthread.php?t=149463

Don't just stand there. Go forth and caption!

 

[Finn]

Harry Kim: I hate it when they decide to promote Naomi.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

All: ♫We're Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club band♫